


superior gay of 2k19 (7)

by jaemhugs



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Alternate Universe - High School, Asexual Character, Boarding School, Chatting & Messaging, Coming Out, High School, Humor, LGBTQ Character, M/M, Romance, Texting, if you didn’t figure that out from the title?, it's mostly humor but the prose parts are more serious i guess?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2019-10-01 11:10:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 38,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17243183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaemhugs/pseuds/jaemhugs
Summary: jaemin: real life adult question herejaemin: if a close friend of yours liked to eat vegemite, do you:jamie: a) stage an intervention for themjaemin: b) unfriend themjaemin: c) report themhyuck: this sounds like the kind of shit that happens in bitlifejaemin: it ischenle: one time someone ruptured my toe and i died :”)hyuck: that’s nice, lelehyuck: oh you meant in bitlife





	1. jamie: yeah he’s jaehyun hyung’s friend’s friend’s cousin

**Author's Note:**

> oof so mark graduated but whatever
> 
> here we go with another text fic!!  
> stock market - mark  
> moomin’s wife - renjun  
> girl’s jenoration- jeno  
> full sun - haechan  
> jamie - jaemin  
> figaro magnifico - chenle  
> bby jisung- jisung
> 
> come find me on the bird app @jaemhugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a new kid, an awkward set of introductions and a new friend

**cool kids (2)** \- 17:39

 **stock market:** so i just gave a tour to a bunch of froshies and god they’re tiny  
**stock market:** like  
**stock market:** i was never that small  
**stock market:** maybe when i was five

 **full sun:** k  
**full sun:** so how was it?

 **stock market:** they’re so small  
**stock market:** they’re actually tiny, like they shouldn’t be going to boarding school  
**stock market:** THEY’RE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS SHIT  
**stock market:** anyway i just met this  tiny kid and he’s so small

 **full sun:** in the years you’ve been here, has your vocab never expanded

 **stock market:** hey ok i’ve just always had a relatively  
**stock market:** diminished vocabulary  
**stock market:** anyway the kid was  
**stock market:** miniscule  
**stock market:** but then at the same time he’s super cool  
**stock market:** his name is jisung  
**stock market:** just my personal thoughts but they kinda ignored him the whole time  
**stock market:** all of the kids were talking about pacman and donkey kong and whatever kids these days like

 **full sun:** in that case, would their favourite film be ‘singing in the rain’?

 **stock market:** i was showing them the dance studio and all the kids were like ‘k’ but then jisung was like ‘omg what the fuck this is so cool’ and then i asked him if he liked dance and he was like ‘heck yeah’  
**stock market:** (then all the other kids gasped because jiSUNG SAID A BAD WORD)

 **full sun:** you know i hate the word ‘fuck’ idk why i just imagine a chicken on a farm, with its disgusting yellow feathers, attacking me  
**full sun:** tell me you don’t imagine a chicken going after you yelling ‘FUCK FUCK FUCK’

 **stock market:** oh, hyuck  
**stock market:** i think you’re thinking of ‘CLUCK CLUCK CLUCK’  
**stock market:** or if it’s specifically pissed at you, then ‘HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK’

 **full sun:** STOP THIS DOESN’T HELP MY FEAR WHATSOEVER

 

 **superior gay** **(6)** \- 17:43

 **stock market:** guys so earlier i met this awesome kid that loves dance  
**stock market:** what if we add him to this group?  
**stock market:** he’s a froshie but he isn’t into pacman or whatever the kids nowadays like  
**stock market:** he’s oBSESSED with dance no joke and well the other kids  
**stock market:** they just ignored him throughout the whole thing  
**stock market:** basically he’s on his own  
**stock market:** esp because this is his first year here  
**stock market:** and because he wasn’t in middle section with the others

 **moomin’s wife:** are you really a ‘cool hyung’ tho

 **stock market:** that’s beside the point

 **figaro magnifico:** YEET I WON’T BE THE YOUNGEST ANYMORE,,  
**figaro magnifico:** GET YEETEN SON

 **girl’s jenoration:** hey this kid sounds cool  
**girl’s jenoration:** what’s his name

 **stock market:** jisung  
**stock market:** park jisung

 **jamie:** ohh him

 **stock market:** you know him?

 **jamie:** yeah he’s jaehyun-hyung’s friend’s friend’s cousin

 **stock market:** you’re kidding right

 **jamie:** no, jaehyun-hyung is friends with jungkook-hyung who is friends with this guy called jimin  
**jamie:** and he has a cousin called jisung

 **stock market:** well i’m gonna add him. if there are any objections, voice them now

**_stock market (leeminhyung) added bby jisung (jisungparkk)._ **

**stock market:** say hi

 **full sun:** sup

 **jamie:** ayo

 **moomin’s wife:** hi

 **figaro magnifico:** hello!

 **girl’s jenoration:** yo

 **bby jisung:** hey:)

 **figaro magnifico:** he’s so soft with that smiley

 **girl’s jenoration:** first of all chenle you’re equally as soft  
**girl’s jenoration:** we’re all soft

 **full sun:** not true in the slightest  
**full sun:** literally we only have three soft people here and that’s jisung, jaemin and me  
**full sun:** jeno is a complete murder hobo

 **girl’s jenoration:** i’m sorry what i’m not the only one  
**girl’s jenoration:** hyuck you use a shovel to behead rats

 **stock market:** if there was a guiness world record for worst impression of a new group of friends, jisung would get it

 **moomin’s wife:** *were  
**moomin’s wife:** ‘were’ is for hypothetical scenarios  
**moomin’s wife:** ‘when there was’ is correct and so is ‘if there were’

 **figaro magnifico:** GRAMMAR POLICE ALERT

 **moomin’s wife:** listen if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have gotten through sixth grade english

 **stock market:** can we do introductions first  
**stock market:** before next year, perhaps?

 **full sun:** that isn’t very far away

 **stock market:** will you stop  
**stock market:** okay look jisung why don’t you introduce yourself; i’m surrounded by a bunch of idiots+renjun  
**stock market:** none of them know how to do introductions

 **bby jisung:** oh um ok  
**bby jisung:** hi i’m jisung, born in ‘02  
**bby jisung:** i’m new to this school  
**bby jisung:** i love dance hehe  
**bby jisung:** i was born in seoul but then i moved to busan and now i’m back here

 **figaro magnifico:** isn’t there a saying that boys from busan are hot?

 **full sun:** didn’t you just make that up  
**full sun:** no offense, jisung

 **bby jisung:** none taken i’m not born in busan lol

 **figaro magnifico:** send me a selfie, jisung

**bby jisung:**

  


**nana and lele (2)** \- 17:49

 **figaro magnifico:** he’s so cute

 **jamie:** i know

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 17:50

 **figaro magnifico:** AWWW you’re so cute kldsfjafj

 **bby jisung:** ahahaha stop i’m blushing xD

 

 **nana and lele (2)** \- 17:50

 **figaro magnifico:** HE’S BLUSHING

 **jamie:** i know

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 17:51

 **stock market:** the one that called you cute is chenle  
**stock market:** ‘01. born in shanghai

 **figaro magnifico:** hi!  
**figaro magnifico:** i like singing:) and you

 **stock market:** he likes flirting

 **figaro magnifico:** i like jisung

 **bby jisung:** aww :D

 **stock market:** lele really glo’d up

 **full sun:** he was still in his booster seat until last summer

 **figaro magnifico:** hey! :/

 **stock market:** jamie is jaemin

 **jamie:** i am  
**jamie:** lol

 **stock market:** jaemin is very soft and he loves dancing **  
** **stock market:** however, he has a shitty back and neck

 **jamie:** i do  
**jamie:** if you see a guy with pink hair limping or leaning on jeno/sitting down/lying down while screaming/crying  
**jamie:** or wearing a pained expression  
**jamie:** that’s me:)

 **bby jisung:** oh man that must suck how do you dance without feeling like you’re dying

 **stock market:** he’s a better dancer than most of us  
**stock market:** he loves dogs and coffee

 **jamie:** and that’s because i can’t sleep because i’m always in pain  
**jamie:** the fact that i don’t sleep + the fact that i drink like 6 cups of coffee a day is probably the reason behind my a) physical pain, b) mental health problems and c) why i’ll die first

 **girl’s jenoration:** nooo don’t die jaem

 **jamie:** i won’t babe  
**jamie:** bro*

 **full sun:** aww look at jeno caring about jaem and jaem giving jen a pet name  
**full sun:** HEY EVERYONE JENO LOVES JAEMIN

 **jamie:** haha no we’re just bros

 **girl’s jenoration:** fuck off hyuck

 **full sun:** i really hate that word  
**full sun:** i have a crush already and i’m ready to act on it  
**full sun:** are you gonna act on your crush tho??

 **stock market:** wait what you have a crush

 **girl’s jenoration:** ooh look mark-hyung the panicked gay

 **stock market:** jeNO  
**stock market:** anyway  
**stock market:** we have no clue as to why donghyuck called him jamie  
**stock market:** jaemin can’t speak english

 **full sun:** JAEMIN SOUNDS LIKE JAMIE

 **bby jisung:** oh yeah you’re right it does

 **stock market:** it really doesn’t

 **jamie:** sometimes i go into jaemland and detach, i guess?  
**jamie:** sometimes when I'm dancing or drinking coffee but usually when I'm stressed    
**jamie:** i’m always stressed

 **girl’s jenoration:** poor jaem I love him

 **stock market:** full sun is donghyuck but he calls himself haechan from time to time  
**stock market:** he reads us his diary entries sometimes at one in the morning and he’s like “today haechan bought coffee” or “today haechan got drunk” or “today haechan nearly killed jeno”

 **girl’s jenoration:** still never understood why he refers to himself in third person

 **bby jisung:** would like to hear the story behind that last entry

 **girl’s jenoration:** you don’t  
**girl’s jenoration:** it involved me, a sock, a washing machine and a frying pan

 **stock market:** that’s jeno ^  
**stock market:** always smiling, nominated best eye smile ever  
**stock market:** but is actually a little terrifying  
**stock market:** on the streets he always walks really close next to the pigeons to get them to fly away and when they don’t he just stares them down  
**stock market:** has probably murdered a few too and served it for dinner

 **girl’s jenoration:** not true they just walked towards my knife and i placed the knife down on their neck

 **full sun:** i hear that jisung wants to hear the story about jeno’s out of body experience  
**full sun:** basically we were playing hide and seek. jeno saw one of his socks in the laundry so he ran into the washing machine  
**full sun:** meanwhile, jaemin was doing the laundry, so he filled the washing machine with clothes, not seeing jen

 **jamie:** that was my bad

 **full sun:** anyway just before jaem turned the machine on i saw something move on the inside  
**full sun:** after screaming for a minute i attacked the moving thing with a frying pan

 **girl’s jenoration:** i was the moving thing

 **full sun:** just a hint jisung, never ever take food from jeno  
**full sun:** in fact the only person you should ever take food from is renjun

 **stock market:** true tho  
**stock market:** hyuck and jen have killed pigeons and rats, jaem basically poisons himself on a daily basis, chenle only eats eggs and i make my bagels at two in the morning

 **bby jisung:** holup what does jaemin-hyung do??

 **jamie:** i’m “lactose intolerant”

 **girl’s jenoration:** stop putting inverted commas around things you don’t like  
**girl’s jenoration:** it doesn’t falsify them or anything

 **jamie:** anyway i’m not supposed to consume too much dairy but i love chocolate milk so…  
**jamie:** once again, guess who’s gonna die first?

 **full sun:** you, but it depends on whether renjun will kill jen or me first, and when that happens

 **moomin’s wife:** i’m renjun, by the way  
**moomin’s wife:** i actually like school  
**moomin’s wife:** i’m usually in the library or in the common room  
**moomin’s wife:** studying

 **stock market:** he’s probably the mom friend  
**stock market:** people think i am but  
**stock market:** i’m just  
**stock market:** me  
**stock market:** mark  
**stock market:** i’m the oldest and i’ll be graduating next year  
**stock market:** but we’ll take care of you, yeah?

 **bby jisung:** thanks for adding me to this group:)  
**bby jisung:** i don’t think the other kids like me much

 **full sun:** omg that’s so so so sad

 **figaro magnifico:** it’s okay we love you jisung

 **full sun:** ^^^

 **stock market:** guys i’ll see you tomorrow?  
**stock market:** we should get packing  
**stock market:** it’s like that with us  
**stock market:** we don’t pack until the night before  
**stock market:** it always is

 **bby jisung:** ok see you tomorrow!  
**bby jisung:** wait lemme get this all straight in my head - go to the living block entrance, and then meet you guys there?

 **stock market:** yep

 **bby jisung:** yeet  
**bby jisung:** gotta pack! see you tomorrow morning

**_bby jisung went offline._ **

**_stock market went offline._ **

**_jamie went offline._ **

**_full sun went offline._ **

**_girl’s jenoration went offline._ **

**_moomin’s wife went offline._ **

**figaro magnifico:** i love that boy

**_figaro magnifico went offline._ **


	2. stock market: do you expect me to know what sex smells like??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a failed phone call, a pair of curtains and a spider

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the little bit short chapter  
> more coming soon

**jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 16:43

 **girl’s jenoration:** hey jaem  
**girl’s jenoration:** will you be okay with your bags later going upstairs?

 **jamie:** i’ll be fine, thanks jen  
**jamie:** got my back brace, medical note, email from admin to say i can use the lift and lollipops

 **girl’s jenoration:** awesome  
**girl’s jenoration:** but let me know if you need help ok?

 **jamie:** i’ll be fine don’t worry bro  
**jamie:** i was fine this morning, should be okay later

 **girl’s jenoration:** okay  
**girl’s jenoration:** just  
**girl’s jenoration:** be careful and don’t pull any back muscles, ok?

 **jamie:** i will, thanks bro <3

**_jamie went offline._ **

**girl’s jenoration:** cries in panicked gay

 ** _girl’s jenoration_** **_went offline._**

**_jamie came online._ **

**jamie:** what

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 16:45

 **figaro magnifico:** hey listen gays so i called the school office and asked what rooms each of us are in  
**figaro magnifico:** me and jisung, 149. norenmin, 147. hyuck and mark hyung, 148

 **stock market:** awesome @donghyuck  
**stock market:** room 148  
**stock market:** the big room yeet

 **full sun:** isn’t 148 the room where yuta-hyung and sicheng-hyung made out after prom two years ago

 **stock market:** yeah but that’s because it’s the big room  
**stock market:** they didn’t _just_ make out if you catch my drift

 **bby jisung:** throws up

 **figaro magnifico:** ew  
**figaro magnifico:** not you jisung  
**figaro magnifico:** but ew  
**figaro magnifico:** did they  
**figaro magnifico:** do the dirty in there

 **stock market:** jisung close your ears you’re five years old

 **bby jisung:** closing my ears and sticking my fingers in my eyes

 **stock market:** @chenle in the bedroom facing the sea  
**stock market:** they snuck out of prom and ran down the corridor where 148 was empty  
**stock market:** apparently it was very rushed because they worried about being caught  
**stock market:** doing  
**stock market:** THE THING

 **figaro magnifico:** I DON’T NEED TO HEAR SMUT STORIES ABOUT YUWIN THANKS  
**figaro magnifico:** EW  
**figaro magnifico:** THANK FUCK I’M IN 149 WITH JISUNG  
**figaro magnifico:** WHAT WERE THEY THINKING WHAT IF SOME SEAGULLS SAW THEM FUCKING

 **full sun:** tbh that was probably the least of their worries

 **girl’s jenoration:** right that’s disgusting imma just jenope out of here  
**girl’s jenoration:** sorry i’ve been waiting for like forever to make that joke

 **full sun:** hey lele wanna swap rooms?

 **figaro magnifico:** I’M FINE THANKS I DON’T WANNA BE IN THE YUWIN ROOM

 **bby jisung:** who is yuwin?

 **stock market:** yuta and winwin, also known as sicheng. they’re our friends that are now in college

 **moomin’s wife:** let’s just say that they enjoyed making out (and more) a lot  
**moomin’s wife:** (one time sicheng, lucas and i said “eh fuck it let’s go to a chinese restaurant down the road”)  
**moomin’s wife:** big mistake. heard too much of sicheng’s stories with yuta; even bleach cannot cure my mind

 **jamie:** hey this arrangement is pretty sweet  
**jamie:** thanks for calling the office, lele

 **figaro magnifico:** y’all better be grateful  
**figaro magnifico:** just as i said thank you to the guy at the front desk, he said to me “no problem young lady”  
**figaro magnifico:** “YOUNG LADY”  
**figaro magnifico:** WHAT PART OF ME SOUNDS LIKE A GIRL JEEZ

 **girl’s jenoration:** HAHAHA

 **full sun:** CHENLE GOT CLOWNED SO HARD

 **bby jisung:** isn’t the front desk person a lady

 **moomin’s wife:** oh my god

 **girl's jenoration:** smh

 **jamie:** chenle,,

 **figaro magnifico:** FUCK I CALLED HER "SIR"

 **full sun:** OMG LELE  
**full sun:** I GUESS KARMA IS A BITCH BUT I CAN’T TELL WHO WAS BITTEN HARDER  
**full sun:** shit that sounds really kinky that’s not what i meant i’m gonna shut up now

 **moomin’s wife:** watch this boy stay quiet for -4 seconds

 **full sun:**  hey does it smell like sex in 148 @mark hyung

 **moomin’s wife:** aaaand there we go

 **stock market:** @hyuck do you expect me to know what sex smells like??

 **full sun:** haven’t you done it before?

 **stock market:** no i am a gOOD CHILD  
**stock market:** also i haven’t lost my virginity i never lose

 **girl’s jenoration:** you also lost your grammar skills oh wait you never had any GET ROASTED HYUNG

 **jamie:** honey no  
**jamie:** homie*

 **moomin’s wife:** i love the fresh smell of irony @jeno

 **bby jisung:** hi let’s change the subject before someone dies  
**bby jisung:** what time are we supposed to do stuff?

 **moomin’s wife:** thank you jisung it’s nice we have some normal people here  
**moomin’s wife:** (mark-hyung i honestly thought you were above these lame dad jokes ‘i never lost my virginity i never lose’ gosh i thought you were better than that)  
**moomin’s wife:** still love you though hyung

 **stock market:** i know i love me too  
**stock market:** jk i hate every cell in me

 **jamie:** a fat mood

 **moomin’s wife:** jisung  
**moomin’s wife:** you can go into the dorm now i think but we gotta go to the school hall at 6:45 and then we have the dinner in the dining hall  
**moomin’s wife:** don’t forget - wear your uniform  
**moomin’s wife:** you know what screw it let’s all meet in the cafe  
**moomin’s wife:** lele’s bursting to meet you ;)

 **bby jisung:** got it!! thanks hyung:)

**_bby jisung went offline._ **

**figaro magnifico:** @renjun  
**figaro magnifico:** you bitch

 

**later that evening…**

**superior gay (7)** \- 21:52

 **bby jisung:** school starts tomorrow officially right?

 **stock market:** yep so we should all sleep early  
**stock market:** hyuck, let renjun and jaemin sleep. i know they have a coat hanger and we don’t, but you can’t just be in there pole dancing with jeno  
**stock market:** don’t tell me you’ve been drinking already

 **jamie:** i’ll check the fridge to see if they’ve drank anything  
**jamie:** SHIT THE ICE MACHINE ISN’T ON THIS FLOOR

 **figaro magnifico:** you ok hyung? i’ll get ice for you

 **jamie:** it’s fine don’t worry lele

 **figaro magnifico:** if your back hurts i can go get it

 **jamie:** i’ll be fine  
**jamie:** thanks lele, don’t worry *^.^*  
**jamie:** they seem sober  
**jamie:** no alcohol consumed

 **full sun:** hey mark-hyung does our room smell like sex then

 **stock market:** if it makes you feel any better i’ll check for you

 **full sun:** thanks i love you

 

 **kind of responsible (2)** \- 21:55

 **stock market:** PANIC GAY MODE ACTIVATED SHITTTT

 **moomin’s wife:** you really like him huh

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 21:55

 **stock market:** ily2

 

 **kind of responsible (2)** \- 21:56

 **moomin’s wife:** lee minhyung what the fuck is wrong with you who replies to ‘i love you’ with three letters and a number

 **stock market:** SHIT I’M SORRY I’M PANICKING

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 21:56

 **stock market:** wait shit no i meant ‘i love you too’

~~~

“jen,” hyuck says quietly, the pole dancing atmosphere disappearing like dust.

ceasing to straddle the coat hanger and landing on the carpet with a soft _thud_ , jeno glances over donghyuck’s shoulder. “what is it?”

“he doesn’t love me the way i love him. we’re only meant to be friends, i guess.”

“bullshit. have you seen the way he looks at you when you’re singing?”

when hyuck doesn’t look up, jeno just touches his shoulder lightly. “hey, i know how it feels to be in love with a friend but not have them love you back.”

donghyuck rolls his eyes. “jaemin’s head over heels for you. haven’t you seen the way he calls you ‘babe’ or ‘honey’ and then gets embarrassed and calls you ‘bro’ or ‘homie’ so it seems like he made a bunch of typos?”

jeno just shrugs. “we should get to sleep soon. we have school tomorrow.”

that seems to take hyuck’s mind off of things. “true. junior year starts tomorrow. i’m going to my room now.”

“me too. night, hyuck.”

“goodnight, jen.”

~~~

“you okay, jaem? i saw you coming out earlier. did you need ice?”

“i’ll be alright, jen,” jaemin says softly, resting his head on jeno’s shoulder. he presses the ice cream sandwich he’s holding on his lower back.

“here, i’ll do it for you,” jeno offers, taking the bag of ice and holding it in place for the younger boy. “you always say you’ll be fine, but it’s like you’re in so much pain lately.”

jaemin hums softly. “you don’t need to worry, jen. i’m fine.”

“of course i need to worry about you. you’re my best friend.”

“you’re mine too. we should really get some sleep.”

“yeah. night, jaem.”

“night, jeno.”

~~~

“i’m not seeing things, right? a spider just crawled across the ceiling,” chenle remarks, coming out from behind the wall that partitions his room and the living room.

“yeah, i thought so,” jisung says, leaving his room too. “wait, can you get the light? i’ll try and get the spider.”

chenle flicks the lights on, and with that, jisung’s bouncing on the balls of his feet, lightly treading across the room’s furniture, a tissue in his hand.

“how are you this good at parkour?” chenle inquires, but jisung has no time to respond, for he catches the spider, squashing it in his fingers.

once jisung throws the spider’s carcass away, the two boys get back into bed.

“do you think that spider had a family?” chenle asks from the one side of the room.

“oh, shit,” jisung replies from the other. “yeah, it probably did.”

\---

minhyung goes up to the curtains and sniffs them.

donghyuck is right. they do smell like sex, or whatever mark thought _that_ smells like.


	3. girl’s jenoration: the sun doesn’t go down every day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a quad bike, a bit of flirting and a lactose intolerant na jaemin

**superior gay (7)** \- 07:40

 **stock market:** okay, mark. got your timetable, your locker combination and your laptop?   
**stock market:** yes you do. good job mark

 **jamie:** ooh lemme try   
**jamie:** okay, jaemin. got your timetable, your locker combo, your laptop, chocolate milk, lemon lollipops for jeno, back brace and lift pass?   
**jamie:** sure thing. you’re on the ball today jaem

 **girl’s jenoration:** okay my turn   
**girl’s jenoration:** k jen, got your laptop that contains all of what mark-hyung said plus other video games?   
**girl’s jenoration:** awesome. great work jeno

 **figaro magnifico:** wait i wanna do it too   
**figaro magnifico:** okay, chenle. got your candy?   
**figaro magnifico:** GO YEET YOURSELF LELE

 **full sun:** who has calculus this morning

 **girl’s jenoration:** me

 **full sun:** SAME

 **girl’s jenoration:** YEET   
**girl’s jenoration:** idk if i can stand two lessons of calculus

 **moomin’s wife:** Heavenly Father I pray that You will give jeno and jaemin’s calculus teacher the strength to overcome these two shits thank You Amen

 **girl’s jenoration:** are you even a Christian renjun

 **moomin’s wife:** you can’t judge me   
**moomin’s wife:** you’re the same lee jeno that sleeps in church

 **stock market:** wait wait wait hold up hold up where is jisung and does he know where he’s going

 **figaro magnifico:** we’re together :) he’s got chem and i have bio

 **stock market:** sweet

~~~

**later on…**

**superior gay (7)** \- 16:32

 **figaro magnifico:** so, jisung   
**figaro magnifico:** what did you think of your first day?

 **bby jisung:** pretty cool, actually!   
**bby jisung:** i was in the dance studio after school finished and then this college guy came in   
**bby jisung:** he’s a really good dancer. his name is taemin

 **full sun:** oof look at jisung the freshie making friends with people in college

 

 **jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 16:35

 **girl’s jenoration:** hey jaem   
**girl’s jenoration:** wanna sit on the roof and watch the sun go down when i get back to the dorm

 **jamie:** don’t we have notes for history?

 **girl’s jenoration:** yes but think about it jaem   
**girl’s jenoration:** the sun doesn’t go down every day

 **jamie:** i’d like you to read that sentence out loud and report back to me when you’ve figured that one out

 **girl’s jenoration:** lol   
**girl’s jenoration:** anyway how was your day

 **jamie:** not bad. got a shit ton of work already though lol

 **girl’s jenoration:** how’s your back?

 **jamie:** same as always

 **girl’s jenoration:** i miss you   
**girl’s jenoration:** i’ll give you a massage when i get back

 **jamie:** wait where are you?

 **girl’s jenoration:** on the quad

 **jamie:** me too…? i’m with jisung and chenle; he shouldn’t be too hard to miss given that he’s making dolphin noises rn   
**jamie:** wait i’ll try to find you and the rest of the squad

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 16:37

 **jamie:** hey where y’all at

 **full sun:** jeno and i are on the quads

 **moomin’s wife:** working on a quad

 **stock market:** working on the quads   
**stock market:** leg day, y’know?

 **bby jisung:** this is so confusing i literally see jaemin-hyung and chenle-hyung and that’s it

 **stock market:** i’m working on my quads at the gym

 **figaro magnifico:** ?

 **jamie:** ohh

 **moomin’s wife:** i’m drawing a quadrilateral

 **full sun:** isn't that a square

 **jamie:** k what about hyuck and jen

 **girl’s jenoration:** we’re on the quad!

 **stock market:** are you telling me what I think you're telling me

 **full sun:** idk what are you thinking??   
**full sun:** if it's that we’re on the quads, well...

 **stock market:** oh no

 **jamie:** not this again

 **moomin’s wife:** you’re joking, right guys?

 **figaro magnifico:** last time we nearly missed dinner!!

 **bby jisung:** wait what   
**bby jisung:** i’m sorry did you just say there was a LAST TIME   
**bby jisung:** HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

 **figaro magnifico:** basically last time jeno hyung and hyuck hyung went out and bought this huge quad bike   
**figaro magnifico:** if you have a vehicle and you’re a student you can keep the vehicle here during term time   
**figaro magnifico:** anyway last time they rode the quad around the area   
**figaro magnifico:** they drove it into a patch of mud

 **jamie:** long story short, they couldn’t get it out and we had to go out to help them   
**jamie:** and they’re the reason why we can only leave the campus with approved seniors and juniors

 **moomin’s wife:** the worst part was that once we were out, we had to ride on the back of the quad

 **jamie:** and we were late to dinner

 **figaro magnifico:** no, we nearly MISSED dinner   
**figaro magnifico:** all the kimbap was gone!!

 **moomin’s wife:** specifically the kimchi and the egg ones

 **figaro magnifico:** i was very upset about that

 **stock market:** it’s the first day of school and you guys are already breaking rules

 **full sun:** rules were meant to be b r o k e n

 **stock market:** no they weren’t. they were put in place for you to follow   
**stock market:** look. jeno, donghyuck, wherever you are right now, i want you to stay there

 **moomin’s wife:** did jen and hyuck even apply for a license

 **stock market:** yeah and they GOT REJECTED   
**stock market:** if they get found out about then it’s even worse   
**stock market:** you’re approved, right?

 **moomin’s wife:** yeah   
**moomin’s wife:** can we take your car

 **stock market:** yep i’m showering right now   
**stock market:** whoever wants to come. i’ll meet you out at the main entrance in 5 mins?

 **moomin’s wife:** ok   
**moomin’s wife:** do you have your pass?

 **stock market:** yeah

 **moomin’s wife:** okay   
**moomin’s wife:** jaem/lele/jisung   
**moomin’s wife:** can you get me my pass please? I'm in art but ceebs to get it

 **figaro magnifico:** okay

 **jamie:** i’m getting the collapsible stick too

 **moomin’s wife:** oh no is your back ok?

 **jamie:** yeah i’m fine   
**jamie:** i just need it to beat jen and hyuck up

 **full sun:** dear diary   
**full sun:** today jaemin threatened to attack jeno and haechan

 **jamie:** not ‘threatened to attack’   
**jamie:** ‘attacked’

 **girl’s jenoration:** shitttt jaemin never gets mad

 **bby jisung:** we’re on the way   
**bby jisung:** (jaemin-hyung’s gonna beat your asses ;) )

 **jamie:** yep karma’s a bitch and has bitten me in the ass   
**jamie:** back cramp shitttt   
**jamie:** the stick can’t be used to hit them anymore   
**jamie:** i actually need it

 **figaro magnifico:** use the lift hyung we’ll meet you at the entrance

 **moomin’s wife:** @jeno @donghyuck you guys are a little bit dead later

 

 **127 (10)** \- 16:43

 **full sun:** hyungs help me i’m on the quad bike with jeno and mark-hyung is gonna kill us later

 **stock market:** HIS PROBLEM

 **jhonny:** good luck have fun

 **junguwu:** trollolololololololololol

 **YUta not MEta:** read at 69:69

 **full sun:** Y’ALL AIN’T HELPING I GUESS I’L JUST DIE

 **w1nw1n:** bye felicia

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 16:44

 **jamie:** everything hurts this is inhumanely painful   
**jamie:** my back is killing me and i’ve never felt so sick before

 **figaro magnifico:** reminder - jaemin hyung is a lactose intolerant boy that just drank three glasses of milk

 **jamie:** i think I'm gonna throw up

 **stock market:** why did you drink three glasses of milk just then

 **jamie:** because i have no such thing as ‘foresight’

 **bby jisung:** buy it on taobao, i think they have a discount on it

 **jamie:** i plan on doing so when i feel less like i’mm gojna thrwo uo

 **figaro magnifico:** if i weren’t directly next to him i would either think he’s drunk, sick, having a stroke or making out

 **girl’s jenoration:** jaem, if it makes you feel any better, we just saw two dogs doing the dirty and they got stuck   
when they were done   
**girl’s jenoration:** it's fucking hilarious hyuck can't stop laughing

 **jamie:** is this supposed to make me feel any better   
**jamie:** the only thing i can imagine are the sounds they're making

 **bby jisung:** aaaaand then jaemin hyung threw up. right where mark hyung said the quad is usually parked?

 **full sun:** NANA ARE YOU OK

 **figaro magnifico:** he just yelled ‘NO’

 **stock market:** stay away from your allergens, kids

 **figaro magnifico:** im allergic to vegetables but you still tell me to eat them   
**figaro magnifico:** this is racial discrimination   
**figaro magnifico:** it's because im asian isn't it

 **stock market:** dude. your parents had you tested five times   
**stock market:** also. we're all asian

 **figaro magnifico:** so? they had me tested for other things and they came back negative   
**figaro magnifico:** doesn’t mean i’m not crazy

 **full sun:** snorts in disbelief

 **figaro magnifico:** chicken: FUCK FUCK FUCK

 **full sun:** S T OP,,

 **girl’s jenoration:** OH JAEM

 **jamie:**??

 **girl’s jenoration:** I, LIKE OTHER HUMANS, HAVE EMOTIONS TOO   
**girl’s jenoration:** and maybe i care that you just drank three glasses of milk and then threw up

 

 **jamie created ‘jwi, lele and nana’ (3)** \- 16:51

 **jamie:** HE CARES ABOUT ME

 **bby jisung:** sorry fill me in here   
**bby jisung:** when did he _not_ care about you

 **figaro magnifico:** ^^^   
**figaro magnifico:** open your eyes, hyung

 **jamie:** k first off that’s racist   
**jamie:** second of all i can’t i’m in too much pain   
**jamie:** BUT JENO CARES ABOUT ME   
**jamie:** I REPEAT, LEE JENO CARES ABOUT ME

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 16:53

 **jamie:** i’m really sorry @hyuck @jen   
**jamie:** and i’m really sorry @hyuck @jen

 **moomin’s wife:** see, most people say “i’m sorry, person a. and i’m really sorry, person b”

 **jamie:** ??

 **moomin’s wife** : they don’t thank the same people twice, jaem

 **girl’s jenoration:** why are you apologizing twice

 **jamie:** first, for getting rid of your parking space   
**jamie:** and also because we have to stop off at the pharmacy for some anti-acids

 **girl’s jenoration:** DONT APOLOGIZE JAEM I WOULD KISS YOU ON THE LIPS RIGHT NOW   
**girl’s jenoration:** WITH THROW UP ON IT AND ALL

 

 **jwi, lele and nana (3)** \- 16:56

 **jamie:** CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 16:56

 **full sun:** ITS FINE EVERYONE HERE WOULD GIVE OUR SOULS FOR YOU JAEM

 **stock market:** bold of you to assume that i didn’t make a deal with johnny hyung to sell him my soul in return for 50 packs of oreos

 **full sun:** EVERYONE EXCEPT MARKIE WOULD GIVE OUR SOULS FOR YOU   
**full sun:** AND MARK WOULD GIVE YOU A LIFETIME SUPPLY OF LACTOSE FREE SNACKS

 

 **jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 16:58

 **jamie:** would you really

 **girl’s jenoration:** would i really what

 **jamie:** would you really kiss me right now

 **girl’s jenoration:** yeah course   
**girl’s jenoration:** you’re my best friend

 **jamie:** this doesn’t sound like what best friends would do

 **girl’s jenoration:** well, we could be more than best friends, if you catch my drift

 **jamie:** I CAUGHT IT   
**jamie:** FOR REAL WHAT

**girl’s jenoration:**

**jamie:** jeno   
**jamie:** jeno   
**jamie:** are you for real right now

 **jamie:** LEE JENO

 **girl’s jenoration:** listen, i need to drive the quad out of the mud, okay? I'll see you later?

 **jamie:** ok

~~~

**later on**

**jwi, lele and nana (3)** \- 20:47

 **bby jisung:** hey jaemin hyung why you yellin

 **figaro magnifico:** he hasn't stopped since this afternoon

 **jamie:** GUYS I JUST FOUND MY BESTIE BRACELET IN MY JEWELLERY BOX AND JENO FOUND HIS IN HIS WALKET WE’RE WEARING IT AGAIN

 **bby jisung:** YEET NICE   
**bby jisung:** I remember having a bestie bracelet   
**bby jisung:** in year 2

 **jamie:** i’ve been besties with jeno since kindergarten   
**jamie:** we both liked the white crayon so much

 **figaro magnifico:** sorry - what was the point of the white crayon??

 **bby jisung:** this is blatant racism but go on

 **figaro magnifico:** i really want to hear this   
**figaro magnifico:** the story of how you guys met

 **jamie:** little jaem colouring with white crayon>little jen interested in white crayon>little jaem tells little jen to sit with him>bffs now!!

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 20:53

 **girl’s jenoration:** breathe if you don’t think hyuck is ugly   
**girl’s jenoration:** i’m trying to prove a point here   
**girl’s jenoration:** it’s for science

 **stock market:** -hyperventilates-

 **full sun:** -turns blue-   
**full sun:** not to sound incestuous or anything but it’s so unfair my parents and my siblings are actually not ugly   
**full sun:** WHY AM I SO UGLY

 **jamie:** sorry wtf is going on rn

 **girl’s jenoration:** basically hyuck has a tiny pimple on his neck and it looks like a hickey and now he won’t stop obsessing over it   
**girl’s jenoration:** my g it’s not that bad you look fine

 **stock market:** don’t worry hyuck at least you know that one day you have hope in terms of your appearance

 **full sun:** HYUNG YOU’RE NOT HELPING

 **stock market:** at least you know that your parents look good and your sibs do too   
**stock market:** you can assess whether you have hope or not   
**stock market:** i can’t

 **bby jisung:** ?

 **stock market:** my parents died when I was a baby   
**stock market:** so idk what they look like

 **bby jisung:** shit   
**bby jisung:** i’m so sorry man

 **stock market:** it’s fine   
**stock market:** i don’t feel sad really   
**stock market:** i have my brother, and an aunt (who's not actually related she's the mom of my brother’s preschool friend)

 **bby jisung:** i’m really sorry hyung

 **stock market:** don’t worry about it jisung really i’m fine   
**stock market:** let’s change the subject. kids don’t forget that tomorrow after last period we have chapel:)

 **girl’s jenoration:** jaemin is an altar boy and seeing him holding the cross is the softest thing   
**girl’s jenoration:** the cross seems so much bigger than the ones at other churches

 **jamie:** anyway   
**jamie:** it’s a whole ass struggle to carry it around   
**jamie:** probably not good for my back but okay   
**jamie:** wait mark hyung   
**jamie:** do you have any temporary hair dye?

 **stock market:** which colour

 **jamie:** i don’t mind as long as it’s a natural colour

 **stock market:** okay sure i’m in the library but i think hyuck’s upstairs

 **jamie:** awesome, thank you so much

 **girl’s jenoration:** why can’t you just keep your pink hair

 **jamie:** i asked and they said that it’s not appropriate at the altar   
**jamie:** @hyuck are you home right now?

 **full sun:** yeah sure come in

 **bby jisung:** can i ask something?   
**bby jisung:** what is chapel like here?

 **jamie:** fun

 **moomin’s wife:** it’s pretty cool

 **full sun:** honestly i have no clue as to what the priest is saying

 **girl’s jenoration:** will you give him a break he’s 70+ years old

 **bby jisung:** wait tell me the deets

 **figaro magnifico:** HE SAYS ‘DEETS’ AWW HAHAHA

 **full sun:** WAIT ISN’T DEET A MOSQUITO REPELLENT

 **moomin’s wife:** basically   
**moomin’s wife:** you keep your uniform on and go to the church building   
**moomin’s wife:** sing dem gospel songs, pray, listen to the sermon (or if you’re hyuck, try to figure out what the priest is saying)

 **jamie:** and then they do the Holy CommunionTM   
**jamie:** if you’re any one of my friends you start laughing at the fact that i’m struggling big time with the Cross

 **stock market:** oh look we have an app update   
**stock market:** OH LOOK WE CAN SET BEDTIME

 **figaro magnifico:** WHAT

 **jamie:** dsalfjaklfs

 **stock market:** i’m setting the bedtime NOW

 **girl’s jenoration:** NO WHAT WHY

 **stock market:** BECAUSE YOU, LEE JENO, ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP IN CHURCH

 **girl’s jenoration:** gasp   
**girl’s jenoration:** excuse me that is far from the truth   
**girl’s jenoration:** I'm just praying

 **full sun:** (for the whole service)

 **girl’s jenoration:** okay I'm sorry but @hyuck you were SNORING one time

 **jamie:** mm   
**jamie:** confession sounds like it'll be fun this week

 **full sun:** uh huh, right jeno?

 **girl’s jenoration:** sorry?

 

 **quad buddies (2)** \- 21:02

 **full sun:** you know   
**full sun:** “I want to kiss nana”   
**full sun:** doesn't sound very holy to me   
**full sun:** kissing out of wedlock

 **girl’s jenoration:** k first of all I'm jeno, not renjun   
**girl’s jenoration:** my grandma doesn't care for arranged marriage   
**girl’s jenoration:** second of all, who wouldn't want to kiss jaem?   
**girl’s jenoration:** lastly. I've never told anyone that I want to kiss jaemin

 **full sun:** you sleep talk, jen. on the bus.

 **girl’s jenoration:** shit

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 21:06

 **figaro magnifico:** jeno hyung has sinned??

 **full sun:** indeed   
**full sun:** he dreamt   
**full sun:** about

 **girl’s jenoration:** WEARING A SHIRT MADE OF MIXED MATERIALS

 

 **jwi, lele and nana (3)** \- 21:08

 **bby jisung:** get the feeling something’s up?

 **figaro magnifico:** ^^

 **jamie:** ??   
**jamie:** wdym

 **figaro magnifico:** hyung   
**figaro magnifico:** what are your true opinions on jeno?

**_jamie is typing…_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cliffhanger bitches


	4. full sun: we walked in on a shitting old man

**jwi, lele and nana (3)** \- 21:08

**figaro magnifico:** hyung   
**figaro magnifico:** what are your true opinions on jeno?

**jamie:** i like him   
**jamie:** he’s a good friend

**bby jisung:** yeah?   
**bby jisung:** a good friend?

**jamie:** yeah

**figaro magnifico:** just a good friend?

**jamie:** what else can i say? he’s sweet, cute, humble, always there for you, my little jen jen   
**jamie:** oh my god   
**jamie:** i’m in love with him

**figaro magnifico:** oh my god

**bby jisung:** finally

**figaro magnifico:** we all knew you were in love hyung

 

**the babies (2)** \- 21:10

**bby jisung:** it was about time tbh   
**bby jisung:** i don’t get how jaemin hyung could go this long without realizing he’s in love with jen hyung

**figaro magnifico:** no kidding   
**figaro magnifico:** ‘operation get jeno and jaemin together’ commences

 

**figaro magnifico created ‘operation get jeno and jaemin together’ (5)** \- 21:12

**full sun:** could this group name be any more obvious

**full sun changed the chat name to ‘parents’.**

**full sun:** this way, if either jeno or jaemin sees this chat they’ll just think this is our family chat with our parents

**figaro magnifico:** awesome, you’re a genius   
**figaro magnifico:** next - we need code names for jen hyung and jaem

**moomin’s wife:** i saw this tumblr post of how to come up with a book character’s name

**full sun:** RENJUN IS A TUMBLR BOI

**moomin’s wife:** AND HYUCK LOVES PINTEREST

**stock market:** okay we have a sub-chat this can never end well but okay

**figaro magnifico:** hey it’s for the benefit of the two

**bby jisung:** thank you for your input, mark hyung   
**bby jisung:** it’s nice to know we have a level headed person here   
**bby jisung:** anyway...renjun, what were you saying about the character’s names?

**moomin’s wife:** right as i was saying before i was so rudely interrupted

**full sun:** :D

**moomin’s wife:** i think we can use these for nomin too   
**moomin’s wife:** what you do is you take the letters in their names and rearrange them by alphabetical order   
**moomin’s wife:** so jeno is ejon and jaemin is aeijmn 

**bby jisung:** ejon is nice   
**bby jisung:** but aeijmn looks like a discount keyboard smash

**full sun:** jaemin>jamie>james>lebron as in lebron james

**figaro magnifico:** alright awesome

**full sun:** we know that ejon wants to kiss lebron no matter what 

**figaro magnifico:** jisung and i have also found out that lebron does really really like ejon   
**figaro magnifico:** however, we need to collect more evidence

**bby jisung:** isn’t that just a euphemism for ‘you want to watch nomin flirt and be cute’

**figaro magnifico:** shush   
**figaro magnifico:** don’t expose me

 

~~~

**next day.**

**00 looks like two long boobs (4)** \- 09:07

**jamie:** morning!!   
**jamie:** shall we meet at the cafe at 11?

**full sun:** here’s to the first 00 meeting of this school year

 

**parents (5)** \- 09:08

**moomin’s wife:** the 00 line is going for brunch    
**moomin’s wife:** we’ll be keeping y’all updated 

**bby jisung:** umm you guys don't have class to attend??

**moomin’s wife:** we have a free period from 10:45 until lunch so YEET 

**full sun:** wait renjun go walk with nana i’m gonna go with jeno   
**full sun:** get them to sit next to each other

**~~~**

**00 looks like two long boobs (4)** \- 10:52

**girl’s jenoration:** hyuck and i are walking over now, see you there

 

**parents (5)** \- 10:52

**moomin’s wife:** gays jaemin’s talking to me he thinks that jeno likes hyuck because they’re walking together   
**moomin’s wife:** hurry the fuck up hyuck we need jeno here before jaemin’s heart BREAKS

**figaro magnifico:** what the shit   
**figaro magnifico:** hyuck you better get your ass there asap no one breaks nana’s heart

**stock market:** what the

**full sun:** WE’RE RUNNING BITCH

**moomin’s wife:** I SWEAR IF YOU’RE NOT HERE IN THE NEXT TWO MINUTES NANA’S GONNA CRY AND THAT’S YOUR FAULT WE ARE 100% BLAMING YOU

**full sun:** SPRINTING MY WAY OVER

**moomin’s wife:** alright we’re going in now @mark @chenle @jisung will keep you updated 

~~~

**parents (5)** \- 12:38

**figaro magnifico:** renjun. hyuck. updates. 

**moomin’s wife:**   
**moomin’s wife:** i’m hiding in the bathroom right now  so i don’t have long

**bby jisung:** what’s going on

**moomin’s wife:** we were playing kiss marry kill   
**moomin’s wife:** both ejon and lebron want to marry each other    
**moomin’s wife:** ejon laughed and ended up in lebron’s lap so he’s been there since   
**moomin’s wife:** anyway we’re leaving now so see y’all later 

 

**00 looks like two long boobs (4)** \- 12:43

**full sun:** renjun where are you??

**moomin’s wife:** so um i was in the bathroom just now and umm   
**moomin’s wife:** the door won’t unlock??

**girl’s jenoration:** omg how

**jamie:** you okay in there??

**moomin’s wife:** nO

**girl’s jenoration:** can’t you just climb out 

**moomin’s wife:** that’s what i would’ve done   
**moomin’s** wife: but    
**moomin’s wife:** there’s a couple making out on my left and an 80 year old man taking a shit on my right

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 13:08

**stock market:** where are the 00 liners they said they’d be on the way back 

**bby jisung:** ikr

**jamie:** sorry there was   
**jamie:** an incident   
**jamie:** but it's all good now and we’ll be back for when class starts

**bby jisung:** what happened??

**moomin’s wife:** the bathroom door wouldn’t unlock

**full sun:** rather than climbing out (renjun would  either encounter an old man shitting or a horny couple), we took the problem into our own hands

**stock market:** oh no you didn’t

**full sun:** oh yes we    
**full sun:** jeno and i unscrewed the door

**stock market:** please say ‘sike’

**girl’s jenoration:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)   
**girl’s jenoration:** only problem? there were four stalls, and they were all locked

**jamie:** we had to guess which stall ren was in

**moomin’s wife:** ...they guessed wrong

**full sun:** we walked in on a shitting old man

**jamie:** =*.*=

**figaro magnifico:** i swear na jaemin has the best reactions to things with dem emojis

**bby jisung:** AHHAHAHAHAA

**full sun:** it wasn’t funny   
**full sun:** the smell wasn’t funny at all

**girl’s jenoration:** no shit 

**full sun:** explain the smell then @jeno

**moomin’s wife:** they're not joking btw

**stock market:** no way   
**stock market:** you guys are full of shit

**full sun:** we wish   
**full sun:** the only thing full of shit was the toilet   
**full sun:** anyway we put the door back on and then unscrewed the next door

**stock market:** please say you opened the right door this time 

**girl’s jenoration:** thankfully

 

**parents (5)** \- 13:16

**moomin’s wife:** hyung quit judging us i was sending info to your asses

**full sun:** ejon full on sat on lebron’s lap    
**full sun:** and then at one point ejon said something really cute    
**full sun:** and then lebron put his lips on ejon’s ear   
**full sun:** UNLEASH THE PANICKED GAY

**moomin’s wife:** wait whattt you didn’t tell me this part

**full sun:** um yeah because ‘mr. perfect timing’ got stuck in the bathroom and we had to save you   
**full sun:** we might’ve just waited for a bit (i.e. let lebron kiss ejon’s ear longer) but then nana was legit so concerned that he looked like he was gonna cry

**figaro magnifico:** he’s genuinely the softest guy i’ve ever met like wtf

**bby jisung:** was that ejon talking because it sounded like him

**full sun:** @renjun   
**full sun:** where is jeno

**moomin’s wife:** idkk   
**moomin’s wife:** why is he not here yet

**stock market:** hey hang on isn’t jaem off at the church already 

**moomin’s wife:** yeah he has to be there early 

**full sun:** OH WAIT I FIGURED IT OUT   
**full sun:** BASICALLY JENO TOLD ME WHILE WALKING TO THE CAFE THAT HE THINKS NANA LOOKS CUTE IN THE ALTAR BOY ROBES   
**full sun:** OH I GOT IT I KNOW WHERE HE IS   
**full sun:**

**stock market:** um   
**stock market:** ...hyuck?

**moomin’s wife:** he got his phone confiscated by the teacher

**bby jisung:** oof

**full sun:** sorry i’m back    
**full sun:** shinee’s back   
**full sun:** anyway i’m on the laptop now so yeet

**stock market:** hyuck   
**stock market:** where’s jeno

**full sun:** i think he’s at church too, to see jaemz??

 

**jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 13:21

**girl’s jenoration:** jaeminnie?

**jamie:** hi jen

**girl’s jenoration:** are you at church?

**jamie:** yeah   
**jamie:** why?

**girl’s jenoration:** oh   
**girl’s jenoration:** i want to see you:)

**jamie:** aww

 

**parents (5)** \- 13:23

**full sun:** okay renjun and i are gonna go to the bathroom and sneak out to the church building   
**full sun:** i’ll meet the rest of y’all at the church

**moomin’s wife:** can’t believe i agreed to doing this but okay

**full sun:** can’t believe you’ve never done this    
**full sun:** can believe that perhaps you didn’t have friends before this

**moomin’s wife:** oof but true

**stock market:** okay i’m out

**full sun:** cool what did you tell your teacher

**stock market:** that i was feeling unholy and that i needed to go pray for my sins

**moomin’s wife:** quite possibly the weirdest excuse for getting out of class but okay

**bby jisung:** we have a sub so i told her that i had a freshman undergrad learning service meeting

**full sun:** what’s ‘freshman undergrad learning service meeting’

**bby jisung:** idk

**figaro magnifico:** i pretended to have caught on fire by accident

**bby jisung:** i’m sorry, what?   
**bby jisung:** how do you pretend to catch on fire

**figaro magnifico:** keyword: by accident   
**figaro magnifico:** i didn’t catch on fire by accident   
**figaro magnifico:** maybe on purpose

**moomin’s wife:** oml why

**stock market:** are you alright? did you get burnt?

**figaro magnifico:** no i’m fine 

**moomin’s wife:** excellent. i’ll burn you instead. chenle, you’re stupid.

**full sun:** OOH BURN   
**full sun:** OOH NEVER THOUGHT I’D SAY THIS BUT HURRY UP YOU DUMB FUCKS

**stock market:** WHAT’S GOING ON WHY ARE YOU YELLING ALSO YOU JUST SAID FUCK

**full sun:** I’M NOT PROUD THE WORD GIVES ME GOOSEBUMPS   
**full sun:** NO SERIOUSLY HURRY NANA JUST NOTICED JENO

~~~

mark, chenle and jisung arrive, panting hard after sprinting on donghyuck’s command.

from afar, the five boys see jaemin approaching jeno, smiling.

~~~

“hey,” jaemin says, his grin getting wider by the second. (and goofier, too, nana thinks to himself.)

“sup.” jeno giggles.

jaem, slightly flustered at this wonderful, beautiful, perfect sound, runs his hand through the older boy’s hair.

jeno just blushes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nomin,,


	5. bby jisung: jeno hyung likes watching you bounce them balls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a history teacher, a fried chicken shop and a vacuum cleaner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait between the last chapter and now!!

**superior gay (7)** \- 16:23

**figaro magnifico:** hi there I want everyone to know I'm not a selfish bitch   
**figaro magnifico:** uNLIKE SOMEONE

**full sun:** i sense tea. care to spill?

**figaro magnifico:** CARE TO SHARE THE BOBA?

**full sun:** no

**figaro magnifico:** fine, hoe   
**figaro magnifico:** I have no literal tea but SOME FIGURATIVE TEA TO SPILL   
**figaro magnifico:** LEE DONGHYUCK WONT SHARE HIS BUBBLE TEA WITH ME

**full sun:** oh big fat deal this isn't that important. my tea.

**stock market:** hey everyone lets talk about our day!! jaem you start

**jamie:** um I have a creepy ass stalker that's always sending nudes 

**full sun:** oh f*ck me over buy your own boba

**figaro magnifico:** um ok @hyuck I am not fucking you over for I am not lee minhyung. 

**stock market:** s t o p   
**stock market:** ffs I feel so attacked

**figaro magnifico:** what, because it's true?

**stock market:** OK EVERYONE STOP   
**stock market:** stop with this petty tea business   
**stock market:** renjun has begun to have feelings for 

**moomin’s wife:** I really don't need to tell them

**full sun:** ooh, secrecy. I like. 

**stock market:** his history teacher

**moomin’s wife:** oh no   
**moomin’s wife:** so um i’ll just wait for y’all to go crazy

**bby jisung:** wait so hyung is gay for the history teacher

**moomin’s wife:** i’m never telling @mark hyung anything ever again   
**moomin’s wife:** but i guess i can say yes…?

**full sun:** do not tell your teacher

**figaro magnifico:** tell him how you feel

**moomin’s wife:** what do i do y’all giving me mixed messages out here

**_bby jisung changed moomin’s wife’s screen name to ‘history teacher’s wife.’_ **

**history teacher’s wife:** jisung,,

**bby jisung:** whatcha gonna do about it huh

**stock market:** jisung

**_bby jisung changed history teacher’s wife’s screen name to ‘moomin’s wife.’_ **

**moomin’s wife:** but guys like you don’t get it   
**moomin’s wife:** i love him   
**moomin’s wife:** so much   
**moomin’s wife:** he’s a great human

**full sun:** just find someone your age

**moomin’s wife:** i wish i could   
**moomin’s wife:** however, my heart longs for him and only him   
**moomin’s wife:** i spend my days and night, his presence in my mind

**full sun:** you’re a junior, ren   
**full sun:** he’s, what, 30?

**moomin’s wife:** I’M SORRY I’M BEYOND HELP AT THIS POINT

**jamie:** maybe it's not a crush, ren   
**jamie:** maybe you just really like him and want to be like him

**moomin’s wife:** idk nana you might be right but at the same time I just feel   
**moomin’s wife:** I just like him a lot   
**moomin's wife:** how about you guys? jeno?

 

**ren and jen (2)** \- 16:41

**girl’s jenoration:** you're up to something and I don't like it in the slightest

**moomin’s wife:** what are you talking about?

**girl’s jenoration:** nothing

**moomin's wife:** sure you aren't hiding anything?   
**moomin’s wife:** specifically, in relations to my love life?

**girl’s jenoration:** look, there is nothing between jaemin and i

**moomin’s wife:** you mean ‘jaem and me’   
**moomin’s wife:** also I don't recall bringing nana into the conversation but you did that so…

**girl’s jenoration:** fuck

 

**parents (5)** \- 16:45

**moomin’s wife:** so I asked ejon about his love life and he denied anything between him and lebron   
**moomin’s wife:** the thing is that he brought up lebron out of nowhere

**figaro magnifico:** jisung   
**figaro magnifico:** any interest in asking lebron?

**bby jisung:** I think you mean ‘interrogate’ but ok

 

**jwi, lele and nana (3)** \- 16:48

**bby jisung:** hi what would you do if I told y'all I like toes

**jamie:** v random but ok

**bby jisung:** don't you hate people without toes

**jamie:** um sorry what

**bby jisung:** you're intolerant of people who lack toes

**jamie:** HAHAHAHAHA    
**jamie:** NO BUT I THINK I KNOW WHY YOU THOUGHT THAT   
**jamie:** XD jisung honey i'm lactose intolerant which means that i can't take things with this nutrient called lactose    
**jamie:** not people that lack toes

**bby jisung:** OHH OOKAY GOT IT

**figaro magnifico:** hyung do you think anyone has a crush on you

**jamie:** nahh

**figaro magnifico:** really?

**bby jisung:** not even   
**bby jisung:** idk   
**bby jisung:** jeno??

**jamie:** as much as i love jeno, he probably doesn't think the same way   
**jamie:** why? do you guys know something??

**figaro magnifico:** you didn't hear it from us but he heavily implied that he does   
**figaro magnifico:** just so you know ;)

**jamie:** aww thanks guys, it's really helpful :) love you my hoes

**figaro magnifico:** sure no problem    
**figaro magnifico:** and let us know if the five of us can continue to help you out :)

**jamie:** five??

**bby jisung:** ONE MORE THING    
**bby jisung:** jeno likes watching you bounce them balls

**jamie:** IM SORRY WHAT

**bby jisung:** yeah he said to me that from our room he can see you play basketball with renjun

**figaro magnifico:** JESUS CHRIST PARK JISUNG I HAD A HEART ATTACK

 

**parents (5)** \- 16:53

**bby jisung:** lele exposed this chat by accident so i panicked

**moomin’s wife:** what did you do

**bby jisung:** i told lebron that ejon was watching him “bounce them balls” when i meant that he watched you and lebron play b-ball 

**moomin’s wife:** smh park jisung   
**moomin’s wife:** well i mean i interrogated jeno too so

**full sun:** wait   
**full sun:** chenle exposed the chat??

**figaro magnifico:** i’M SORRY I PANICKED AND FUCKED UP I JUST TOLD NANA THAT THERE WERE FIVE OF US

**full sun:** oh shit what to do what to do

**stock market:** well now that both of them know we should try getting them together?

**full sun:** how??

**stock market:** you know in all those fanfics where they get two characters to go on a date, yeah?   
**stock market:** let’s do that

**moomin’s wife:** isn’t jeno going to his dad’s house over the weekend though   
**moomin’s wife:** doesn’t that mean that we have to arrange the two of them to go on a date over the weekday

**full sun:** yeah   
**full sun:** and you know how nana is about finishing his work

**moomin’s wife:** right well idk about y’all but i personally think that between the two of them, lebron is more of a confident gay than ejon   
**moomin’s wife:** hyuck what do you say to taking lebron for coffee and telling him that he needs to ask jeno out

**full sun:** sure. i’ll message him

 

**jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 16:58

**jamie:** hi jeno

**girl’s jenoration:** hey

**jamie:** um so i was wondering, yeah   
**jamie:** a fried chicken shop opened down the road   
**jamie:** and i wanted to go   
**jamie:** specifically, with you

**girl’s jenoration:** aww   
**girl’s jenoration:** sure!!

**jamie:** awesome. wanna go tonight?

**girl’s jenoration:** cool let’s go

 

**full sun created ‘listen here na jaemin’ (3)** \- 17:01

**jamie:** this group name is a little scary but go on

**full sun:** okay here’s the thing nana   
**full sun:** jeno likes you    
**full sun:** he told us

**jamie:** he told you or you interrogated him??

**full sun:** the fact remains that he likes you, okay?

**moomin’s wife:** the thing is that you’re a confident gay and he’s a panicked gay so   
**moomin’s wife:** just saying, yeah   
**moomin’s wife:** you need to ask him out soon

**jamie:**

**full sun:** why have you gone radio silent

**jamie:** thanks for telling me:)   
**jamie:** but um sorry to break it to you, yeah, but i’ve already asked him to go to that new chicken shop down the road with me

**full sun:** woAH WHAT

**jamie:** yeah!! tonight 7pm :D

 

**parents (5)** \- 17:03

**full sun:** so nana just told me that he’s seeing jeno tonight at 7 at that new chicken shop   
**full sun:** how very foolish of him

**moomin’s wife:** you are not.

**full sun:** yes i am

**stock market:** hyuck do not go disturb them on their first date

**full sun:** hey! i’m just going to get chicken myself

**figaro magnifico:** WAIT THEY’RE GOING ON A DATE

**bby jisung:** OMG

**stock market:** you will not

**full sun:** I WILL

**stock market:** renjun, go with him   
**stock market:** he’s gonna say something and get himself punched/hit by nana’s collapsible stick that he carries around   
**stock market:** (pretty sure that the stick isn’t for anything except for hitting people)

**moomin’s wife:** sure thing   
**moomin’s wife:** i’d love to see hyuck get punched

**full sun:** :(

**bby jisung:** BEEF

**figaro magnifico:** NICE TRY SUNGIE BUT THE RESTAURANT SELLS CHICKEN NOT BEEF

**stock market:** try again ren

**moomin’s wife:** i will stop hyuck from getting punched

**stock market:** very good   
**stock market:** and hyuck?

**full sun:** yeah?

**stock market:** get chicken for the rest of us too

~~~

**some time later**

**parents (5)** \- 19:13

**moomin’s wife:** I’M SORRY HYUCK BUT PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR TWO SECONDS

**bby jisung:** aren’t you guys next to each other??

**moomin’s wife:** no, i’m lining up with my hoodie on   
**moomin’s wife:** on the other hand, hyuck is in a vacuum cleaner and i can hear him screaming

**stock market:** damn that really   
**stock market:** sucks

**full sun:** why do i still love you the way i do

**stock market:** i’m that awesome you know

**figaro magnifico:** WAIT WHY IS HYUCK SCREAMING

**moomin’s wife:** oh because   
**moomin’s wife:** the two of them are eyefucking like mad

**figaro magnifico:** yOU KEPT THAT QUIET

**stock market:** WHAT

**full sun:** tHEY’RE DOING IT 

**stock market:** HYUCK WE CAN’T SEE WHAT YOU’RE SEEING JUST TELL US

**full sun:** THEY’RE HOLDING HANDS AND THEIR FINGERS ARE LOCKED TOGETHER AWW

**moomin’s wife:** alright i got the chicken    
**moomin’s wife:** bye hyuck

**full sun:** NO DON’T LEAVE ME REN

~~~

**more time later**

**_jaemin’s journal_ **

_ i hung out with jeno today. it was really fun and also, the chicken tasted great haha. _

_ i want to make this a regular thing. that would be even more fun. would we be considered boyfriends at that point, then?  _

_ because i want him to be my boyfriend. _

_ i’ll tell him this week, i think. i want him to know.  _

_ \- nana _

~~~

**even more time later**

**parents (5)** \- 22:13

**full sun:** um guys   
**full sun:** i’m stuck in a vacuum cleaner


	6. figaro magnifico: hyung is gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait and the rather short chapter!! i'll be done with tests (hopefully) this friday so look forward to more content soon...
> 
> and lunar new year is just around the corner so i'll have more time yeet

**superior gay (7)** \- 06:13

**bby jisung:** what time do other people wake up

**stock market:** like 7 or 7:30

**bby jisung:** then why do we wake up so early

**figaro magnifico:** sorry i like being a dolphin

**full sun:** thanks for last night gays

**moomin’s wife:** your ass better be thankful

**jamie:** i want to get angry because i really want to drink coffee because i’m tired   
**jamie:** but I can't because I'm trying to cut back and also being angry isn't in my nature

**girl’s jenoration:** soft baby ily

**jamie:** love you too hon

**moomin’s wife:** i am rather upset to say the least

**stock market:** what's up

**moomin’s wife:** so I found out that the history teacher’s married   
**moomin’s wife:** even worse? he's straight so I have no. fucking. chance. whatsoever. 

**jamie:** oh, ren, honey

**moomin’s wife:** easy for you to say. you have a love life

 

**ren and jen (2)** \- 06:18

**girl's jenoration:** he has a love life??    
**girl's jenoration:** shit maybe nana and I should just be friends

**moomin's wife:** dude don't sweat it's fine   
**moomin's wife:** just talk to jaem, yeah? i think he wants to tell you something

 

**jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 06:20

**girl's jenoration:** morning nana

**jamie:** morning!!

 

**ren and jen (2)** \- 06:21

**girl’s jenoration:** shit what do I say

**moomin's wife:** make small talk 

**girl's jenoration:** I'm not good at small talk shit

**moomin's wife:** just talk to him about last night yeah?

**girl's jenoration:** ok thanks 

 

**jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 06:22

**girl’s jenoration:** last night was fun right?

**jamie:** yeah it really was!!    
**jamie:** it's really fun being with you    
**jamie:** let's do this more yeah?

**girl's jenoration:** yeah haha

**jamie:** i love spending time with you 

**girl's jenoration:** me too   
**girl's jenoration:** I love spending time with me too haha

**jamie:** haha very funny :P   
**jamie:** I really like you 

**girl’s jenoration:** I like you a lot too

**jamie:** can you come to my side of the room? I wanna tell you something

~~~

“what's up?” jeno asks. jaemin, already sitting up, gestures for the older boy to sit next to him. 

“i was thinking about whether or not to tell you about this, but i realized that i’m not renjun and you're not my history teacher, so i want you to know this.”

jaemin takes in a deep breath of cold, fresh air coming from the ajar window. “i like you so much and i want you to be my boyfriend.” 

jeno's silent, so nana keeps talking. “of course, it's perfectly alright if you don't want to be.”

that, however, is evidently not alright for jeno. “dude, i've been crazy in love with you for the last five years. there's no way i don't want to be your boyfriend.”

jaemin pauses, trying to work out the double negative in the last sentence. when he figures it out, he says quietly, afraid to ruin everything, “so...you want to be my boyfriend?”

jeno nods enthusiastically, and the two boys squeal as quietly as they can without waking up the entire floor. 

~~~

when renjun opens jaemin’s bedroom door to get the room’s occupant out of bed, he finds the two younger boys under the blanket, with jeno snuggling into jaemin and the latter with his fingers wrapping themselves in the thick layers of jeno’s hair. 

“hey, ren,” jaemin smiles. “meet my boyfriend.”

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 07:06

**girl's jenoration:** um okay so mark hyung   
**girl’s jenoration:** do you know an ugly guy with round glasses that looks kinda creepy

**stock market:** yeah   
**stock market:** me

**girl's jenoration:** not you   
**girl’s jenoration:** you're not ugly and also you're not jaem’s stalker

**stock market:** ahahaha wait what nana has a stalker

**girl's jenoration:** for the sake of this convo we’ll call this guy dick because he's a dick to nana   
**girl's jenoration:** he's a senior and he follows jaemin around everywhere and umm jaemin doesn't want to leave the room right now

**moomin's wife:** yesterday he was waiting for nana outside the history room  where my boyfriend was   
**moomin's wife:** but seriously he knows jaem’s schedule off by heart and no matter where we go that guy is behind us always

**jamie:** fuck fuck fuck so I went to get ice just now because it was an emergency   
**jamie:** he asked me if I wanted a cigarette

**stock market:** you didn't accept right?? 

**jamie:** no, jeno is asthmatic   
**jamie:** I'm genuinely terrified of dick

**moomin’s wife:** jaem   
**moomin’s wife:** what are you actually doing

**jamie:** STRESS MAKING OATMEAL

**moomin’s wife:** with water??

**full sun:** NANA YOU MONSTER

**jamie:** i can’t use milk!!

**bby jisung:** but water   
**bby jisung:** that’s like putting orange juice in cereal   
**bby jisung:** 1/10 do not recommend 

**moomin’s wife:** under what circumstances jisung   
**moomin’s wife:** you tried that??

**bby jisung:** i-   
**bby jisung:** let’s get back to the problem at hand   
**bby jisung:** hyung you use water in your oatmeal??

**jamie:** i’M LACTOSE INTOLERANT GIVE ME A BREAK

**girl's jenoration:** um so norenmin dorm has a problem   
**girl’s jenoration:** that's jeNO RENjun jaeMIN FYI

**figaro magnifico:** who's FYI??

**stock market:** it means ‘for your info’ lele   
**stock market:** anyway what's up

**moomin's wife:** um so he's like right outside and it really shouldn't be a problem but he's obsessed with nana

**girl's jenoration:** I would be obsessed too

**jamie:** jen no that makes me so scared

**girl's jenoration:** shit   
**girl's jenoration:** sorry babe

**bby jisung:** babe??

**jamie:** we’ll explain later 

**full sun:** um no that can't wait    
**full sun:** has the nomin ship sailed?

**girl's jenoration:** it very well can wait we are barricaded inside for there's a creepy asshole outside ready to follow nana around

**jamie:** SHIT MY OATMEAL MY BABY IS BURNING

**full sun:** TRY NOT USING WATER

**jamie:** IM LACTOSE INTOLERANT

**bby jisung:** so um someone threw an egg at me   
**bby jisung:** i’ll be back i just need to take a shower

**jamie:** this is why you don’t leave the house

**stock market:** whelp who would throw an egg at you??

**bby jisung:** you see, the other kids kind of hate me

**full sun:** what why

**bby jisung:** because they hate the fact that i’m a new kid but i have you guys

**stock market:** lololol sucks to be them

**bby jisung:** also sucks to have egg run down your face   
**bby jisung:** it’s not tasty either

**moomin’s wife:** d o   n o t l i c k    i t p a r k j i s u n g

**bby jisung:** sorry   
**bby jisung:** also i kind of understand why you’re crushing on your history teacher now

**moomin’s wife:** sorry what

**bby jisung:** he just looked at the egg dripping down my face and passed me a few napkins

**moomin’s wife:** you are not falling in love with him

**figaro magnifico:** exactly   
**figaro magnifico:** you have me, you hoe

**bby jisung:** wow   
**bby jisung:** hoe shaming   
**bby jisung:** next thing you know, you’ll be shovel shaming, rake shaming, watering can shaming

**moomin’s wife:** park jisung if the history teacher asks either of us out it’ll be me

**stock market:** y’all stop    
**stock market:** no one is dating any teacher   
**stock market:** that’s very illegal 

**moomin’s wife:** SHUSH WE GET IT YOU LIKE HYUCK AND THATS LEGAL

**stock market:** what are you talking about I don't like hyuck 

**full sun:** ouch

**stock market:** you get what i mean, hyuck   
**stock market:** it's very nice of y'all to think about me but i’m straight, unfortunately

**full sun:** that's a lie

**figaro magnifico:** hyung is gay   
**figaro magnifico:** he’s panicking   
**figaro magnifico:** he’s a panicked gay

**bby jisung:** straight <=> hyung   
**bby jisung:** fam do you see the distance

**moomin’s wife:** when did jisung turn into memelord supreme

 

**00 looks like two long boobs (4)** \- 11:26

**moomin’s wife:** so hyuck punched me in the nose

**full sun:** BY ACCIDENT

**moomin’s wife:** so um anyway i’m sitting in the nurse with ice on my nose and blood coming out

**jamie:** @hyuck how do you punch someone by accident

**full sun:** how do you forget how to walk

**jamie:** i didn’t forget   
**jamie:** i just had to relearn to walk so that i wouldn’t spend every free moment screaming in pain

**girl’s jenoration:** wow we’re so cool one of us had to relearn how to walk, one of us got punched by accident, one of us is a crazy panicked gay and one of us owns three cats but has allergies to cat fur   
**girl’s jenoration:** sorry go on how did you get punched

**moomin’s wife:** we were at the vending machine and hyuck went to get the drink out but then he heard mark hyung and turned around so quickly   
**moomin’s wife:** that his hand went right into my nose

**full sun:** I’M SORRY REN

**girl’s jenoration:** hyuck is gay for mark hyung don’t @ me on this

**jamie:** oh yeah   
**jamie:** you’re right, babe   
**jamie:** hyuck you’re into mark hyung right?

**full sun:** care to explain more about the ‘babe’ thing??

**jamie:**  wow stop ignoring the question

**full sun:** let’s take this to the full group chat, na jaemin

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 11:31

**full sun:** well, na jaemin?   
**full sun:** you and jeno??

**jamie:** stop dodging the question

**moomin’s wife:** yeah, it’s not a basketball, hyuck

**bby jisung:** ?? what about the basketball?

**jamie:** in the sixth grade, jeno, hyuck and ren played dodgeball with basketballs

**bby jisung:** where were you

**jamie:** that was the year my back started killing me :P   
**jamie:** anyway, the ball hit another set off balls   
**jamie:** which belonged to hyuck

**girl’s jenoration:** alright, hyuck, we’ll give you the answers you want, but you have to give the answers we want   
**girl’s jenoration:** yes, jaemin and i are dating

**full sun:** YEET   
**full sun:** I KNEW IT

 

**cool kids (2)** \- 11:35

**full sun:** YES I ADMIT IT I LIKE HYUNG OKAY Y’ALL KNOW I’M THE SUPERIOR HOMO HERE THROUGH AND THROUGH

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 11:36

**full sun:** right, jaem i’m telling you this because you’re the least likely out of the 00s to mock the shit out of me   
**full sun:** but i sent a message to mark hyung saying that i like him instead of to jeno

**jamie:** hAHAHAHAHA

**full sun:** stop   
**full sun:** seriously jaemin what do i do

**jamie:** write ‘oops wrong chat!! sorry boo’

**full sun:** NO

**jamie:** then i’ll tell mark hyung that the message is about him, for him

**full sun:** shit   
**full sun:** i should’ve seen this coming   
**full sun:** you’re the same boy that carries a collapsible cane in his bag for violent purposes

**jamie:** ;)   
**jamie:** i have the message i want to send in the chat box already   
**jamie:** my finger rests by the ‘send’ button

**full sun:** YOU    
**full sun:** YOU LITTLE

**jamie:** i little what?    
**jamie:** the clock’s ticking, hyuck ;)

 

**cool kids (2)** \- 11:40

**full sun:** oops sorry wrong chat

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 11:41

**_full sun sent a screenshot._ **

**full sun:** happy??

**jamie:** you need to write ‘sorry boo xoxo!!’

**full sun:** i will find you at lunch, na jaemin :P

**jamie:** go ahead hehehe =^.^=

 

**cool kids (2)** \- 11:42

**full sun:** sorry boo xoxo!!


	7. moomin’s wife: that’s how babies are made, sungie

**superior gay (7)** \- 18:47

 **stock market:** quick question 00s - are you aware of any substance consumption that hyuck may have done??   
**stock market:** because he sent something to me by accident and followed it up with “wrong chat sorry boo xoxo”

 **full sun:** nope. long story

 **girl’s jenoration:** hey guys jaemin left his phone in the chemistry lab earlier can someone tell him I have it

 **figaro magnifico:** call him and ask him where he is

 **girl’s jenoration:** …   
**girl’s jenoration:** i-

 **full sun:** lele that's not how things work

 **moomin’s wife:** he should be in the dance studio right now if I remember correctly

 **full sun:** didn't his therapist tell him to stop dancing we should remind him of that

 **figaro magnifico:** which therapist he has at least three different ones

 **moomin’s wife:** oh hi jen it’s jaemin here:)   
**moomin’s wife:** you can keep the phone for now   
**moomin’s wife:** and you can keep the phone number forever

 **girl’s jenoration:** hon we’re dating already there’s no need for the pickup lines

 **moomin’s wife:** oh yeah HAHAHA   
**moomin’s wife:** fyi i do not have a crazy amount of therapists but   
**moomin’s wife:** um yeah the back doctor told me to stop dancing but oh well

 **full sun:** “back doctor”   
**full sun:** isn't that the physiotherapist

 **stock market:** if nana says it's back doctor, it's back doctor

 **moomin’s wife:** sorry to disappoint y’all but it’s renjun back now

 **full sun:** oh no ew

 **moomin's wife:** so um my grandma wants me in an arranged marriage whelp

 **stock market:** umm no offense but wHAT

 **moomin's wife:** how do I mention to her that I'm not straight without having her die

 **stock market:** wait you're not straight??

 **moomin’s wife:** no…? don't you remember the whole history teacher thing??   
**moomin's wife:** that memory just went “poof” or what?

 **full sun:** mark hyung isn't straight either tbh

 **jamie:** no one here is straight   
**jamie:** hi im back btw

 **full sun:** hits blunt   
**full sun:** we're like a family

 **stock market:** aww that's so sweet what makes you say that?

 **full sun:** chenle and jisung are the one year old kids that pull on your hair

 **stock market:** and there goes the sentiment   
**stock market** : poof

 **full sun:** aka my brother

 **figaro magnifico:** jeno is the dad

 **jamie:** i’m the uncle with that never-ending injury

 **full sun:** no you're the mom   
**full sun:** #nominftw

 **moomin's wife:** i'm the grandma   
**moomin's wife:** mark hyung is the uncle

 **full sun:** wrong. he's the pet dog

 **moomin's wife:** and you're the annoying pet parrot

 

 **jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 18:53

 **jamie:** hey um jen?   
**jamie:** are you busy right now?

 **girl’s jenoration:** umm i’m on the roof with hyuckie   
**girl's jenoration:** everything ok? wanna join us? i can come down as well

 **jamie:** ah i see are you busy after dinner?

 **girl's jenoration:** no why??

 **jamie:** um I was wondering   
**jamie:** could we have cuddles after we get back? i’ll supply the hot chocolate

 **girl's jenoration:** of course lovely   
**girl's jenoration:** everything alright?

 **jamie:** yeah it's just that i haven't been sleeping all that great lately

 **girl's jenoration:** was that why you came over to my bed last night?

 **jamie:** yeah

 **girl's jenoration:** what is it? like you can't fall asleep?

 **jamie:** no   
**jamie:** like those dreams where you jerk awake because you’re falling

 **girl's jenoration:** aww you poor thing sweetie   
**girl's jenoration:** do you want to talk about it later?

 **jamie:** actually, I was hoping that we could keep that off the cards if that's alright?   
**jamie:** just some light hearted convo?

 **girl's jenoration:** sure   
**girl's jenoration:** and a pillow fight?

 **jamie:** HAHAHA YES   
**jamie:** aren't you allergic to dust or something like that

 **girl's jenoration:** yes

 **jamie:** wow we love us a couple that exposes themselves to their allergies and intolerances   
**jamie:** downs a carton of milk

\---

**later on**

**parents (5)** \- 21:47

 **moomin’s wife:** hey um can i go to anyone’s room

 **full sun:** yeah sure come up to ours   
**full sun:** wait why

 **moomin’s wife:** umm   
**moomin’s wife:** ejon and lebron are doing   
**moomin’s wife:** stuff

 **full sun:** HAHAHA YEAH COME OVER

 **bby jisung:** wait what are they doing

 **moomin’s wife:** screaming and um the bed’s moving   
**moomin’s wife:** so um   
**moomin’s wife:** yeah

 **full sun:** are they doing what I think they're doing because I hope not   
**full sun:** nomin for life but this is very soon

 **moomin’s wife:** SHIT THE DOOR IS AJAR

 **figaro magnifico:** tHE DOOR IS NOT A JAR IT IS A DOOR JEEZ HYUNG I THOUGHT YOU WERE SMART

 **full sun:** that isn't what ajar means but who even says ajar in a normal convo tbh

 **figaro magnifico:** renjun hyung is a real intellectual   
**figaro magnifico:** like   
**figaro magnifico:** debate, maths team, history bowl, spelling bee, chess championship   
**figaro magnifico:** the list goes on

 **moomin’s wife:** IT’S GONNA OPEN I DON’T WANT TO SEE   
**moomin’s wife:** THE DOOR IS SWINGING OPEN   
**moomin’s wife:** HELP ME YOU DUMB FUCKS   
**moomin’s wife:**

 **full sun:** this is the vocab of the smartest guy in our year group

 **bby jisung:** what happened to hyung

 **figaro magnifico:** hyung died but whatever

 **moomin’s wife:** ZHONG CHENLE YOU’RE A BITCH

 **figaro magnifico:** HUANG RENJUN I KNOW IT’S MY SPECIALTY

 **moomin’s wife:** so um they’re standing on jaemin’s bed having pillow fights

 **figaro magnifico:** OH

 **bby jisung:** THEY’RE TRYING TO HAVE A BABY

 **stock market:** jisung   
**stock market:** what

 **bby jisung:** THAT’S WHAT MY DAD TOLD ME

 **stock market:** umm   
**stock market:** i’m sorry   
**stock market:** what did your dad tell you??

 **bby jisung:** didn’t you ever get the talk?

 **stock market:** yeah,,   
**stock market:** maybe different editions of the talk

 **bby jisung:** so then you would know   
**bby jisung:** if people want to have a baby, they jump on the bed and nine months later the mum pees and the baby comes out

 **full sun:** …

 **figaro magnifico:** JISUNG YOU DUMB FUCK

 **bby jisung:** so how do people have babies

 **stock market:** gosh   
**stock market:** i didn’t think i would have to tell this story until much later

 **moomin’s wife:** ask your dad jisung

 **bby jisung:** **  
** **bby jisung:** he said to ask my friends

 **moomin’s wife:** oof

 **bby jisung:** go on, hyung

 

 **mamma mia (2)** \- 21:53

 **three kids momma:** hyuck your sister has a dance recital tomorrow so do you think you could watch your brother while we’re out?

 **full sun:** sure

 

 **cool kids (2)** \- 21:56

 **full sun:** hey hyung   
**full sun:** so um my mom is dropping my baby brother off at the dorms tomorrow so do you want to help me watch him?

 **stock market:** sure! i love kids   
**stock market:** sounds creepy but it’s really not what i mean

 

 **lee and na (2)** \- 21:58

 **full sun:** so i asked hyuck to hang with me while i watch my baby brother and he said yes   
**full sun:** crap crap crap this is bad I hate me

 **jamie:** i hate me too

 **full sun:** no shut up you are beautiful and perfect the sweetest thing ever   
**full sun:** seriously what do i do tomorrow

 **jamie:** just be yourself   
**jamie:** he loves that about you

 **full sun:** really?

 **jamie:** yes just trust me   
**jamie:** anyway jisung is banging on my door I think ren gave him The Talk

 **full sun:** banging…?

 **jamie:** noooo hyuck smh   
**jamie:** this is the same kid that thought we pee kids out

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 22:00

 **moomin’s wife:** and that’s how babies are made, sungie

 **bby jisung:** I’VE BEEN CORRUPTED   
**bby jisung:** I’M NOT THE MAN I USED TO BE

 **moomin’s wife:** YOU WERE NOT A MAN YOU WERE A BOY

 **bby jisung:** WERE   
**bby jisung:** i’M A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW

 

 **lee and na (2)** \- 22:02

 **jamie:** you know what? you two taking care of your brother like that   
**jamie:** it’ll be like you guys are a little family

 **full sun:** i hate your guts

 **jamie:** i hate my guts too   
**jamie:** i just wanted chocolate milk and now i’m sitting in front of the toilet trying not to throw up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jisung’s idea as to how babies are made—credit goes to Modern Family S6 E10 (Haley’s 21st Birthday)!! specifically lily’s explanation :) 
> 
> gosh i love that show


	8. figaro magnifico: i loved the way you looked in your birthday suit ;-;

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday jisung pWArk i love you so much gosh i have so much love for this boi

**superior gay (7)** \- 00:01

**stock market:** happy birthday jisung!!

**figaro magnifico:** happy birthday my fav hoe

**bby jisung:** thank you guys!!

**jamie:** happy birthday sungie ily!!

**bby jisung:** thank you hyung

**moomin’s wife:** ㅅㅊ :P

**bby jisung:** omg thanks hyung hahaha

**girl’s jenoration:** happy birthday jisung love you!

**full sun:** HAPPY BIRTHDAY OUR YOUNGEST HOE

**bby jisung:** thank you everybody!!

~~~

**superior gay (7)** \- 09:13

**bby jisung:** hey um hyungs so i’ve got my learner’s permit test today    
**bby jisung:** any tips?

**stock market:** umm remember which side the steering wheel is on, how to start the car, and which pedal is which   
**stock market:** aka everything that i missed the first time round

**girl’s jenoration:** just apply everything that hyuckie and i taught you when we went on the quads

**stock market:** wait   
**stock market:** you took jisung on the quad bikes??

**girl’s jenoration:** just past the park and up to the lake   
**girl’s jenoration:** hey at least we didn’t go to the town or the mountains like last time

**moomin’s wife:** highlight important info of each question so like know what the question is asking for, and the details that might be hiding there   
**moomin’s wife:** and check your answers   
**moomin’s wife:** other than that you should be fine

**stock market:** you make it sound so easy

**figaro magnifico:** jisung ignore everything ren hyung is saying it’s not as easy as he makes it out to be

**moomin’s wife:** chenle wasn’t allowed in the centre

**figaro magnifico:** okay that sounds terrible when you say it like that   
**figaro magnifico:** basically they asked me to do it this year because mark hyung drove me there, and they saw me sitting in the car seat   
**figaro magnifico:** they thought i was ten   
**figaro magnifico:** (not my problem that i hadn’t hit my growth spurt yet!!)

**stock market:** hey okay we get that ten hyung is more on the petite side   
**stock market:** but you can’t just compare him to the pre-growth spurt version of you!!

**figaro magnifico:** they thought i was ten YEARS OLD

**full sun:** play nicely now kids, let’s stop damaging the oversized self esteem squashed into the tiny body of chittaphon leechaiyapornkul

**jamie:** @jisung i have my test today as well!!

**bby jisung:** oh? why?

**jamie:** one year ago i couldn’t move because of my back   
**jamie:** but now aside from the occasional back spasm

**girl’s jenoration:** he means continuous back spasms

**jamie:** no    
**jamie:** i am almost fully mobile and am yeeting myself to take the test

**stock market:** just don’t be mark lee and you’ll do just fine

**figaro magnifico:** if anyone’s confused as to what hyung means, think about why i was in a 5 point car seat last year

**moomin’s wife:** because you were too short??

**figaro magnifico:** that too   
**figaro magnifico:** ironically, i ended up taller than you, hyung

**full sun:** is renjun using chenle’s phone to text??   
**full sun:** who talks about stuff ionically bonding in day-to-day life??

**moomin’s wife:** ‘ironically,’ hyuckie

**full sun:** moving on!   
**full sun:** mark hyung has two car seats in his car   
**full sun:** one is chenle’s and one is ali’s

**bby jisung:** who’s ali??

**full sun:** my baby brother   
**full sun:** full name is alistair, 14 months old, mostly harmless except that he bites from time to time   
**full sun:** and um yeah my parents can’t speak english so honestly idk where the name ‘alistair’ came from

**girl’s jenoration:** oof but isn’t that like how you call nana ‘jamie’

**full sun:** oh yeah   
**full sun:** must run in the fam

**girl’s jenoration:** i’m going downstairs for breakfast. anyone else going?

**bby jisung:** yeah i’m on my way downstairs i’ll meet you at the table

**girl’s jenoration:** sure   
**girl’s jenoration:** i can meet you in front of your room though

**bby jisung:** it’s fine hyung don’t worry i’m all good   
**bby jisung:** i’ll meet you downstairs 

**girl’s jenoration:** okie   
**girl’s jenoration:** **  
** **girl’s jenoration:** umm sungie? why are you covered in egg yolk??

**bby jisung:** so um some kids yelled ‘happy birthday’ to me and then threw a few eggs at me

**moomin’s wife:** holy shit what that isn’t okay

**stock market:** what?? jisung   
**stock market:** i really think you should tell someone   
**stock market:** i’ll go with you if you want

**girl’s jenoration:** umm jisung they pick on you so much and it’s not like they’re doing it to us or to other kids   
**girl’s jenoration:** it’s just you   
**girl’s jenoration:** mark hyung is right   
**girl’s jenoration:** all of us will go with you if that helps

**jamie:** jisung they’re right, you know   
**jamie:** this isn’t fair on you

**girl’s jenoration:** i feel so bad if i walked down with you they wouldn’t have done that

**bby jisung:** it’s fine don’t worry hyung i’ll be alright

**figaro magnifico:** jisung this isn’t okay you spent twenty minutes choosing that outfit and they ruined it

**bby jisung:** hyung really don’t worry i’m fine!! it’s really no big deal i can just clean it up really quickly   
**bby jisung:** i’ve cleaned it up before

**figaro magnifico:** it isn’t a ‘no big deal’ kind of thing!! and it shouldn’t be something that you’ve had to do before   
**figaro magnifico:** it’s your birthday and they do this to you   
**figaro magnifico:** i loved the way you looked in your birthday suit ;-;

**moomin’s wife:** umm

**girl’s jenoration:** what

**jamie:** =*.*=

**full sun:** i chocked on my cereal

**moomin’s wife:** did you mean:  _ choked _ ?

**full sun:** go away google

**moomin’s wife:** :(

**bby jisung:** umm   
**bby jisung:** complimentary heart attack for my birthday??

**figaro magnifico:** what   
**figaro magnifico:** did i say something?

**stock market:** lele   
**stock market:** what’s a birthday suit?

**figaro magnifico:** an outfit you wear on your birthday

**stock market:** i-   
**stock market:** no it isn’t, lele   
**stock market:** it really isn’t

**figaro magnifico:** is it not that?

**girl’s jenoration:** no, lele    
**girl’s jenoration:** it really isn’t

**bby jisung:** maybe let mark hyung explain @renjun hyung   
**bby jisung:** i’m still recovering from The Talk

 

**kind of responsible (2)** \- 09:26

**stock market:** ren i’m not trying to doubt your ability to hyung or anything, yeah   
**stock market:** but what exactly did you tell jisung?? he’s still recovering and it’s been two days

**moomin’s wife:** okay hand on heart i told him the following:   
**moomin’s wife:** a guy and girl put on their birthday suits and hug, then a stork brings a baby

**stock market:** a few things:   
**stock market:** you can’t put  _ on _ a birthday suit   
**stock market:** how is telling him that about the stork any better than peeing it out??

**moomin’s wife:** k um i told sungie that a birthday suit is wearing a party hat and nothing else    
**moomin’s wife:** he figured the rest out   
**moomin’s wife:** also i gave our son a proper biology lesson that tells him which hole a baby comes out of

**stock market:** and which hole is that?

**moomin’s wife:** the hole in the window from the time when lucas hyung dabbed and stuck his hand through glass

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 09:29

**figaro magnifico:** ohh so that’s what a birthday suit is

**full sun:** yeah!   
**full sun:** you are a good student

**figaro magnifico:** thanks!! now i gotta change my friend’s birthday card

**bby jisung:** but um you gave it to me already

**figaro magnifico:** no, no, i mean my other friend    
**figaro magnifico:** he’s in your year too, and he loves fashion so i told him that his birthday suit would probably be beautiful, knowing him

**full sun:** damn that’s   
**full sun:** pretty gay

**figaro magnifico:** that card wasn’t intentionally gay

**full sun:** what about the other one?

**figaro magnifico:** laughs in panicked gay

 

**full sun created ‘gijnus and ceehln’ (5)** \- 09:32

**full sun:** hi welcome have some mouldy biscuits and lukewarm tea   
**full sun:** if you haven’t figured it out yet chenle has a huge crush on jisung and vice versa, but they’re unaware of it

**jamie:** kay so a brief summary: everyone except chenle and jisung know that chenle and jisung are in love

**full sun:** correct. i expect you to pass your learner’s permit test with flying colours given your ability to absorb information at the speed of light   
**full sun:** your ability to switch between both hands for writing should also provide you with a sufficient advantage

**jamie:** ha i wasn’t born on international leftie day for nuttin’   
**jamie:** speaking of which, gotta go!

**full sun:** ‘nuttin’   
**full sun:** jaemin is an interesting child

~~~

**superior gay (7)** \- 13:19

**jamie:** we all passed!! yeet

**bby jisung:** brb i’m becoming an uber driver 


	9. jamie: if hyuck asks, ren possessed mark hyung

**superior gay (7)** \- 06:08

**girl’s jenoration:** hey so um renjun’s taking an abnormal amount of time in the shower and he might be dead   
**girl’s jenoration:** so is it okay if jaemin and i borrow someone’s shower

**stock market:** i love how the first thought you have when renjun is taking a long time is that ‘he dead’

**moomin’s wife:** can’t you just shower in the evening like normal people

**girl’s jenoration:** aren’t you showering right now

**moomin’s wife:** yeah   
**moomin’s wife:** bold of you to assume i’m a normal person 

**jamie:** but like isn’t ren the most normal out of all of us

**full sun:** sure he can function to some extent i guess

**stock market:** what about me hyuckie

**full sun:** i like you

**figaro magnifico:** i don’t 

**stock market:** ouch

**figaro magnifico:** i like jisung

**bby jisung:** i like me as well

**moomin’s wife:** love is in the air for all you hoe **s**

**figaro magnifico:** aren’t you hanging with that guy a lot lately   
**figaro magnifico:** yangyang or something like that

**moomin’s wife:** yeah he’s cool i guess    
**moomin’s wife:** wouldn’t date him though   
**moomin’s wife:** we are just bros

**figaro magnifico:** how long did it take you to get past his name

**moomin’s wife:** not that long, if you take the fact that his name is basically ‘sheep sheep’ into consideration

**full sun:** hey jisung wanna go on the quads again?

**bby jisung:** oh ahahaha i’d love to but i’m going to the library with chenle after school    
**bby jisung:** maths is so confusing and we both suck so…

 

**gijnus and ceehln (5)** \- 06:15

**full sun:** renjun go and offer to tutor them

**moomin's wife:** why me   
**moomin’s wife:** can't you do it??

**full sun:** it's really weird if i, the same guy that can't add two numbers together, tutors the, maths   
**full sun:** but you're smart. and i’m busy tonight 

**moomin's wife:** i’m really not that smart    
**moomin's wife:** remind me why you want me to do this again? can't mark hyung do it??

**full sun:** he's busy too

 

**nana shouldn't make oatmeal (3)** \- 06:17

**jamie:** ren can't you see?

**moomin's wife:** umm as my first friend you should know that i’m very nearsighted i can't see for shit

**jamie:** mark hyung and hyuck are both busy on the same night, and they both know that each other is busy    
**jamie:** there is a very good chance that they're hanging out together

**moomin’s wife:** umm i don't get it

**jamie:** if mark or hyuck tutors the kids then they won't go on a date

 

**gijnus and ceehln (5)** \- 06:19

**moomin’s wife:** okok i’ll tutor them

 

**kind of responsible (2)** \- 06:20

**stock market:** renjun listen to me bro   
**stock market:** you need to make me tutor the kids

**moomin's wife:** what why 

**stock market:** don't tell hyuckie but he's taking me for square dancing with a bunch of other 00’s and I don't want to really hang with ten other rowdy kids

**moomin’s wife:** ok first us 00’s are not as bad as you make out   
**moomin's wife:** second, i am hurt, betrayed, and I don't know what else to feel that hyuck didn't invite us   
**moomin’s wife:** bye i’M GONNA HAVE FUN ON MY OWN

 

**at the same time…**

**lee and na (2)** \- 06:20

**full sun:** okay nana listen tell me if this is a good idea

**jamie:** jisung is not going anywhere near the quad bikes again

**full sun:** no it's nothing like that   
**full sun:** i told mark hyung that i’m taking him to a square dancing workshop with some friends but we’re actually going to a really nice restaurant 

**jamie:** sounds cool. where’s the twist

**full sun:** there isn't any but just make sure mark hyung actually comes over please

**jamie:** k

**full sun:** thanks hoe

 

**lee(t) yeet (2)** \- 06:22

**stock market:** hey so renjun is being useless   
**stock market:** dude you have to save me I don't want to learn square dancing with hyuck’s friends

**girl's jenoration:** what

**stock market:** anything is fine just give me a reason to not be there

**girl's jenoration:** hmm idk man lemme ask my mom

**stock market:** wait what no

**girl's jenoration:** it'll be very quick   
**girl's jenoration:** oh wait shit no doyoung hyung is in college he won't wake up until 5pm   
**girl's jenoration:** ok i’ll ask my boyfriend then 

 

**jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 06:25

**girl's jenoration:** my beautiful baby boy

**jamie:** i’m next door

~~~

jeno knocks on jaemin’s door lightly, before entering, only to see the latter with his head on his pillow but the rest of his body on the wall above the bed, in some awkward headstand. 

“you high?” jeno asks. 

jaemin flips himself back over. “just stretching,” he explains. “what's up?”

“hyuckie is getting mark hyung and ten other kids in our year to go square dancing. but mark hyung wants to ditch. thoughts?”

“it’s not real, jen. hyuck isn't taking mark hyung to square dancing. they're going to a nice restaurant, and it's supposed to be a surprise for hyung,” jaemin explains, before making himself comfortable on jeno’s lap. 

“oh.” 

jaemin puts his hand on jeno’s thigh.

“oh,” jeno says again, not realizing that he’s just said the same thing twice, and not realizing that his voice cracked.

~~~

**jaemin shouldn't make oatmeal (3)** \- 06:28

**jamie:** tonight, love is in the air   
**jamie:** ren, you're dealing with the kids and their study session   
**jamie:** jeno babe you gotta get mark hyung there. tell him you'll go and support him   
**jamie:** nana, you're gonna not let hyuckie believe mark hyung’s “sorry can't come gotta walk my cactus” messages and then you're gonna buy yogurt

**moomin's wife:** why are you buying yogurt

**jamie:** because i hate myself

 

**lee(t) yeet (2)** \- 06:30

**stock market:** jeno i can’t do this   
**stock market:** i’m telling hyuck no

**girl’s jenoration:** NO YOU WILL NOT

**stock market:** i am i’m sorry

 

**cool kids (2)** \- 06:31

**stock market:** i’m sorry hyuckie   
**stock market:** i can’t go tonight   
**stock market:** i’m really sorry

**full sun:** oh   
**full sun:** ok

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 06:32

**full sun sent a screenshot.**

**full sun:** AHHHHH   
**full sun:** help me nana idk what to do mark hyung cancelled i want to keep this a surprise but he’s gotta get there i’m crying 

 

**jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 06:32

**jamie:** jeno baby i love you but did you tell mark hyung not to say no

**girl’s jenoration:** yeah. why?

**jamie:** he told hyuck anyway

**girl's jenoration:** HE’S A HYUNG I CANT CURSE HIM

**jamie:** oh no    
**jamie:** i’ll figure some shit out

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 06:33

**jamie:** hyuckie don't cry otherwise i’ll start too ;-;   
**jamie:** oh what do you know jeno just messaged me   
**jamie:** he said that mark hyung is possessed right now like they facetimed and hyung was crazy

**full sun:** what?? what kind of crazy??

**jamie:** he kept yeehawing, and he was eating bagels

**full sun:** that's normal for him tho

**jamie:** yeah, but he was dabbing

**full sun:** ew oh no   
**full sun:** maybe he didn't mean to cancel!! maybe it's whoever’s possessing him! 

**jamie:** hey yeah you might be right!

**full sun:** thanks, nana! yeah, I'm gonna get him to come out with me later

**jamie:** ayy that’s the spirit!!

**full sun:** OH MY GOSH NO IS IT THE SAME SPIRIT THAT’S POSSESSING MARKIE-POO

**jamie:** first, no, hyuckie, i’m talking about a different type of spirit   
**jamie:** second, that is an awful nickname for mark hyung never refer to him as that ever again please and thank   
**jamie:** and speaking of him, you might want to leave him alone. the spirit is gonna stay longer if you interact

 

**jaemin shouldn't make oatmeal (3)** \- 06:35

**jamie:** if hyuck asks, mark hyung is possessed

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 06:35

**full sun:** who would possess mark hyung though?? he's so lovely…

**jamie:** hmm...idk...who would be jealous if you two got together??

**full sun:** renjun

**jamie:** wait what

**full sun:** yeah he's always sad that he can't get with his first love (a teacher, may I add)

 

**jaemin shouldn't make oatmeal (3)** \- 06:37

**jamie:** if hyuck asks, ren possessed mark hyung

 

**lee(t) yeet (2)** \- 06:37

**stock market:** hyuckie just sprinted away from me when I said hi

 

**jaemin shouldn't make oatmeal (3)** \- 06:38

**moomin’s wife changed the group name to ‘jaemin shouldn't be trusted’**

**jamie:** what did I ever do

**moomin's wife:** hmm idk   
**moomin's wife:** maybe it's how I went from soft pure baby boy to evil possessor of mark hyung in a split second

**girl's jenoration:** why do I love you the way I do @nana

**jamie:** that's so cute 

**girl's jenoration:** I miss you 

**jamie:** I'm still next door, and we have ten minutes until ren is done with his unreasonably long shower   
**jamie:** we still have cuddle time   
**jamie:** bitch’s been in there for nearly an hour


	10. girl's jenoration: pretend to go into labor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while, but i'm back !!
> 
> updates on life:  
> \- finished a mock exam and got the results back!! room for improvement but for my first formal exam, yeet!!  
> \- went through regional rounds of world scholar's cup and advanced to globals!!
> 
> it's a bit of a short chapter, but i just wanted to give an update before i write a longer chapter:)
> 
> 25 mar 2019 update: huge apologies to renjun and all the renjun stans and nctzens - it will be a while before i post renjun's birthday chapter :( sorry and thank you for your understanding!! it'll be good one for our lovely moomin's wife; i promise

**superior gay (7)** \- 17:52

**full sun:** so um what are the kids + renjun studying

**moomin’s wife:** idk kids what do you need help with

**figaro magnifico:** umm   
**figaro magnifico:** jisung and i kind of need help with our bi notes   
**figaro magnifico:** *bio

**full sun:** rainbows everywhere

**moomin’s wife:** i’m actually quite shit at bio but i can help with the bi notes

**figaro magnifico:** …

**full sun:** i-   
**full sun:** did you just come out

**moomin’s wife:** oops haha

**full sun:** “oops haha”?????????   
**full sun:** sorry nana but you’re no longer the only confident gay here

**jamie:** ;-;

  
  


**jaemin shouldn’t be trusted (3)** \- 18:03

**moomin’s wife:** everything ok?

**jamie:** umm yeah hyuck is still buying the possession thing

**moomin’s wife:** ffs

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 18:04

**full sun:** jaem   
**full sun:** nana   
**full sun:** jaemin   
**full sun:** na jaemin   
**full sun:** jamieeeeeeeeeeee

**jamie:** hey   
**jamie:** what’s up why you yelling boi

**full sun:** my right eye is really painful when i blink

**jamie:** this could be quite possibly the worst moment to get a stye in your eye

**full sun:** a what in my eye

**jamie:** a stye   
**jamie:** it's a contagious blister in your eye basically    
**jamie:** you can borrow my other pair of glasses

**full sun:** how many glasses do you have

**jamie:** errrrrr three i have the organization skills of a goldfish that’s why i wear contacts because i can’t lose my eyes   
**jamie:** they're in my locker    
**jamie:** you know the combo

 

**jaemin shouldn't be trusted (3)** \- 18:07

**jamie:** hyuck borrowed my glasses he has a stye in his eye

**girl's jenoration:** nana   
**girl's jenoration:** you can't see for shit how do you think hyuck can see out of your thick ass glasses

**jamie:** wdym you do know i have contact lenses in like all the time

**girl's jenoration:** ik but what about hyuck

**jamie:** thick glasses or infect mark hyung   
**jamie:** thick glasses for a thicc™ owner

**moomin's wife:** definition of thick (adj.): to be stupid (informal)

**jamie:** go away nasty   
**jamie:** anyway i’m gonna drive hyuckie to the restaurant because the boy cannot see through my glasses 

**girl's jenoration:** wait what are we full steaming ahead

**jamie:** yes so get mark hyung to the restaurant

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 18:09

**full sun:** how do you see through these

**jamie:** how do you  _ not _ see through these

**full sun:** you're gonna have to drive me I cannot see anything atm

**jamie:** no problem i’ll meet you at the front desk in ten mins

**full sun:** yeah no nana that isn’t gonna work i can’t find the door

**jamie:** hahahahahhahahahahahahahaha how are you texting me

**full sun:** doubt me all you want but i was the typing champion of seoul in 2009, 68 words a minute

**jamie:** holy shit 

**full sun:** you’re not gonna stay out the whole night watching our date right

**jamie:** well i won’t do what you did, mr vacuum

**full sun:** oh go away

**jamie:** i plan on coming home and having a drink with jeno

**full sun:** please say you’re not drinking milk

**jamie:** no   
**jamie:** some cheap liquor i guess

**full sun:** okay that’s fine then

**jamie:** i love how you’re more concerned about me drinking milk than underage drinking

**full sun:** just don’t drive 

**jamie:** don’t worry, we’re just gonna drink on the roof and then we’ll be done   
**jamie:** i can’t be hungover tomorrow morning anyway   
**jamie:** we have church, remember

**full sun:** amen

**jamie:** but um yeah i can’t walk into church tomorrow with a splitting headache and shaking hands 

 

**jeno vs jaemin (2)** \- 18:10 

**jamie:** what’s up babe

**girl’s jenoration:** mark hyung and i are in my car   
**girl’s jenoration:** he’s crying because he doesn’t know whether he made the wrong choice    
**girl’s jenoration:** jaem baby boy hyung can’t drive because he’s crying too hard

**jamie:** LEE JENO PULL OVER YOU ARE NOT TEXTING WHILE DRIVING

**girl’s jenoration:** OKAY I PULLED OVER SORRY

**jamie:** you scared the shit out of me 

**girl’s jenoration:** i’m sorry

**jamie:** don’t do it again okay?

**girl’s jenoration:** i won’t

**jamie:** good   
**jamie:** i don’t know what i’d do if you died

**girl’s jenoration:** mark hyung and i are supposedly going to the restaurant as friends   
**girl’s jenoration:** text me when you’re at the restaurant and i’ll hide in the restroom

**jamie:** okay

**_some time later_ **

**jamie:** okay we’re in the lobby now 

**girl’s jenoration:** bye i’m going to the bathroom 

**jamie:** wait do you want to go to the dorm later and have a drink

**girl’s jenoration:** sure   
**girl's jenoration:** you done yet?

**jamie:** no i’m just making small talk with them e.g. why hyuck is wearing my glasses   
**jamie:** and then i’ll just ditch hyuckie so that they can get on with their date

**girl's jenoration:** umm okay   
**girl's jenoration:** shit so I realised I can't leave the bathroom otherwise mark hyung will notice that i’m leavin

**jamie:** wait what 

**girl's jenoration:** we want hyuck to get on with the date and we want mark hyung to be interested in the date    
**girl's jenoration:** if I come back they're gonna tell us to join them

**jamie:** shit you're right   
**jamie:** climb out of the window

**girl's jenoration:** jaemin,,   
**girl's jenoration:** boi it a ten foot drop

**jamie:** I have a plastic bag use that as a parachute

**girl's jenoration:** the fact that i’m gonna say yes implies that you, me and renjun collectively have three brain cells and ren owns every single one

**jamie:** wait how do I escape they're gonna ask me to stay pretty soon

**girl's jenoration:** pretend to go into labor 

**jamie:** i’m not pregnant

**girl's jenoration:** I love how you say it like you could be   
**girl's jenoration:** like, you're not pregnant now, but you theoretically could be

**jamie:** wait what do I do seriously jen

**girl's jenoration:** just tell them that you have something to do

**jamie:** alright thx   
**jamie:**   
**jamie:** I wanted to say I had an activity to do but it came out as ‘I have a previous commitment’

~~~

mark and hyuck wait on the sidewalk for their uber. 

“hyuck,” mark begins. “tonight was fun, right?”

“yeah. we should come back here together.”

his lips hovering over hyuck’s ear, mark wraps his arms around the younger boy’s shoulders. “i love you and i want to date you…” he says. it comes out like a waterfall that he can’t stop from flowing out of his mouth.

being the drama queen he is, donghyuck drops to the floor.

~~~

**superior gay (7)** \- 20:21

**stock market:** GUYS I THINK I KILLED HYUCK

**figaro magnifico:** I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU

**stock market:** NOT THE REACTION I WAS LOOKING FOR

~~~

“hyuck! oh my gosh; are you okay?” 

he chuckles and gets back on his feet. “y-you want to date me?” he blushes, a bright red staining his cheeks.

“yeah...but i’m sorry, hyuck; it just came pouring out of me and i couldn’t stop it…”

“...i’m sorry.”

hyuck grows, if possible, even redder. “don’t be. i want to date you too.”

“is that a yes then?” the older of the two lees asks tentatively.

hyuck grins. “yes,” he answers.

~~~

**superior gay (7)** \- 21:02

**jamie:** hyuf jc   
**jamie:** hsygn   
**jamie:** ahsjhfjshfy   
**jamie:** why id nohoyry rwopinding   
**jamie:** id anonye thrte?

**bby jisung:** hyung you good???

**jamie:** hi jusing

**_bby jisung changed their name to ‘bby jusing.’_ **

**stock market:** omg hahaha

**bby jusing:** what happened to hyung

**moomin’s wife:** he and jeno are really drunk rn   
**moomin’s wife:** as in they were sobbing three minutes ago and now they’re cackling

**stock market:** they could just be having mood swings

**moomin’s wife:** i thought that at first   
**moomin’s wife:** but then i realised they were crying because christopher robin’s dead?

**figaro magnifico:** WHAT NO   
**figaro magnifico:** A DEAD CHRISTOPHER ROBIN IS A DEAD CHILDHOOD

**jamie:** dhenleeeeee

**figaro magnifico:** i will assume that’s me

**jamie:** i;n aoruy   
**jamie:** soffi   
**jamie:** sofie

**figaro magnifico:** hi sofie, i’m chenle

**bby jusing:** isn't that vernon hyung’s sister’s name or something

**stock market:** is nana coming out or…

**jamie:** ho

**stock market:** wow hoe shaming isn’t okay

**jamie:** eait i mean po   
**jamie:** go   
**jamie:** no   
**jamie:** jaem isn;t ttrans byt y0u knoe ehat jaemin is??   
**jamie:** ult1m4t3 5up3r10r g4yyyyyyyyyyyyy 

**full sun:** how much did he drink

**jamie:** jeaemuibg dooint drink

**stock market:** jeno is abnormally quiet

**moomin’s wife:** i took his phone   
**moomin’s wife:** he was gonna call pizza delivery and ask if they had a swimming pool

**stock market:** weird but ok

**full sun:** anyway   
**full sun:** how did the tutoring session go? @renjun @chenle @jisung

**bby jusing:** who’s jisung i only know jusing

**full sun:** sorry, jusing

**moomin's wife:** between the three of us, we didn't cover much   
**moomin’s wife:** we got about as far as ‘bestiality is not okay under most conditions’

**stock market:** i cannot think of a single condition where it would be okay

**full sun:** i can   
**full sun:** you and me, hyung   
**full sun:** (because i’m a beast in bed)

**moomin’s wife:** *i   
**moomin’s wife:** you and  **_i_ **

**full sun:** don’t get jealous, ren   
**full sun:** i’m his boyfriend, not you

**moomin’s wife:** wait   
**moomin’s wife:** what

**full sun:** what

**figaro magnifico:** what

**bby jusing:** what

**stock market:** :)

**moomin’s wife:** seriously what

**jamie:** in csae ytou hgvn’t fiugred it out    
**jamie:** tehyr’e diatng

**moomin’s wife:**

**full sun:** drunk nana is like one of those drunk uncles at weddings


	11. moomin’s wife: I HUGGED AT LEAST THIRTY AUNTIES EARLIER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay first SORRY THIS IS SO LATE BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENJUN ILY HERE'S TO GOOD HEALTH AND HAPPINESS, LOVE
> 
> and also this is yet another short chapter but i've already started planning the next chapter!! with more content  
> i just wanted to get this one out for ren
> 
> THANK YOU FOR WAITING FOR ME AND LOVING THIS FIC

**superior gay (7)** \- 06:12

**stock market:** happy birthday renjun

**bby jusing:** happy birthday to the guy that's whipped for his history teacher 

**moomin’s wife:** thank you!!   
**moomin's wife:** for the record, I am not whipped for my history teacher   
**moomin's wife:** I simply admire him a lot 

**jamie:** happy birthday to my favorite side hoe and my first friend I love you bro

**moomin’s wife:** thanks, love you too nana

**full sun:** damn renjun was nana’s first friend?? I'm so sorry to hear that @jaem

**moomin's wife:** fuck off

**full sun:** you can't say that

**moomin’s wife:** I can; it's my birthday

**full sun:** right   
**full sun:** happy birthday bro!! as much as I pretend to dislike you, I'm sure there's somewhere deep down where I do love you 

**moomin's wife:** aww so sweet

**full sun:** thanks. do I need to get you a gift?

**moomin’s wife:** no gifts, no street parking, no singing of happy birthday   
**moomin's wife:** should be fun

**figaro magnifico:** are you quoting brooklyn 97

**jamie:** brooklyn 99, hon   
**jamie:** not 97 

**figaro magnifico:** oh   
**figaro magnifico:** happy birthday hyung, thanks for being born and helping me get around so that I wouldn't die during my first few weeks in korea:)

**moomin's wife:** aww that's so sweet thank you

**girl’s jenoration:** happy birthday to our group’s brain cell holder, sarcastic joke guy and loyal boiiiiiii love u

**moomin’s wife:** thanks jen love you too   
**moomin's wife:** are we spending the morning at chapel

**jamie:** fuck

**bby jusing:** are you not an altar boy

**jamie:** it’s not that   
**jamie:** today was not a good day to wake up

**stock market:** hon you just woke up like ten minutes ago    
**stock market:** what could've possibly happened in that space of time

**jamie:** my head hurts and my lenses shriveled up and died because we drank from my case

**stock market:** i have no idea what you're going on about

**jamie:** jeno and i were drinking soju but we didn't have shot glasses so we used my contact lens case

**moomin’s wife:** and you were sober when this happened

**jamie:** correct   
**jamie:** and I have to be at the altar in two hours dammit

**moomin’s wife:** nana   
**moomin’s wife:** go get something cold to drink    
**moomin’s wife:**   
**moomin’s wife:** you do know i can see you right we are literally in the same room now put down the milk   
**moomin’s wife:** good now go take a shower

**jamie:** ugh I feel so sluggish

**girl's jenoration:** you can have my cock   
**girl's jenoration:** it has caffeine in it

**jamie:** thank you that's a very kind offer but why does it have caffeine in it to begin with??

**girl’s jenoration:** SHIT *COKE I MEAN

**jamie:** CAN I GET BOTH

**full sun:** literally and figuratively a thirsty hoe

**jamie:** i’m serious i feel like shit   
**jamie:** this isn't one of the normal hangovers

**full sun:** well do not worry for i am here   
**full sun:** which one of us hoes looks the most like nana

**girl’s jenoration:** renjun

**stock market:** ren

**bby jusing:** renjun hyung

**figaro magnifico:** ren hyung

**jamie:** even i agree   
**jamie:** renjunnie

**moomin’s wife:** wtf how

**jamie:** it’s a compliment, nana 2.0   
**jamie:** what was the purpose of this vote??

**full sun:** ren   
**full sun:** you’re going to be the altar boy for the day

**jamie:** nonono i can do it!!

**full sun:** hush you’re hungover

**jamie:** i’m not

**girl’s jenoration:** boiii don’t lie we all heard you throwing up at three in the morning

**jamie:** ugh i was not

**moomin’s wife:** nana you were so fucking drunk last night i swear

**jamie:** what even happened i have no recollection of it whatsoever

**girl’s jenoration:** nana you lightweight   
**girl’s jenoration:** i drank at least half a bottle and i still remember what happened

**moomin’s wife:** you drank about two shots before you started sobbing about christopher robin and freddie mercury   
**moomin’s wife:** and then you and jeno were cackling about something

**girl’s jenoration:** i remember something about a fanfiction

**moomin’s wife:** oh right   
**moomin’s wife:** you told everyone to go away and then you started writing a fanfic

**jamie:** i think it’s all coming back to me

**girl’s jenoration:** want to know what you wrote?

**moomin’s wife:** let him find it himself   
**moomin’s wife:** it’s in your phone somewhere

**jamie:** is it in this chat’s history   
**jamie:** let me check   
**jamie:**   
**jamie:** HOLY SHIT HYUCK AND MARK ARE DATING??

**stock market:** hehe

**jamie:** how have i not found out about this

**moomin’s wife:** you were drunk off your ass remember

**jamie:** ooh tell me the deets and then i’ll find the fic

**stock market:** do you remember bringing hyuckie to the restaurant

**jamie:** yeah

**stock market:** we were eating together and then he asked me to be his boyfriend

**jamie:** OOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH   
**jamie:** CONGRATS

**full sun:** hurry up and find that fic nana

**jamie:** ok   
**jamie:** wait but who’s bby jusing

**bby jusing:** it’s me. jisung

**jamie:** oh   
**jamie:** i found the fic

**figaro magnifico:** read it to us, hyung   
**figaro magnifico:** go on

**jamie:** i    
**jamie:** i can’t

**full sun:** why    
**full sun:** what did you write

**jamie:** we have an innocent jisung here and a pure chenle   
**jamie:** it’s a freddie mercury x adult christopher robin smut   
**jamie:** we don’t condone pedophilia in this house so even my drunk ass remembers that

**moomin’s wife:** sorry can we get back on topic   
**moomin’s wife:** jaemin   
**moomin’s wife:** i guess i need to be an altar boy today?

**jamie:** it’s fine i can go in

**full sun:** no   
**full sun:** stay home, nana   
**full sun:** ren will be altar boy of the day

**moomin’s wife:** ok what do i do

**jamie:** pretend to be me   
**jamie:** when you’re waiting, shake your leg and play with your necklace a lot   
**jamie:** basically fidget a lot   
**jamie:** and then when you hold the cross don’t touch the floor with it   
**jamie:** don’t speak because i don’t to them

**moomin’s wife:** okay not difficult

**jamie:** at the end of the service, hug the people i know

**moomin’s wife:** fuck   
**moomin’s wife:** you know i hate human contact right

**jamie:** yep!!

**moomin’s wife:**   
**moomin’s wife:** happy fucking birthday to me

**~~~**

**superior gay (7)** \- 13:08

**moomin’s wife:** nana   
**moomin’s wife:** why did you not tell me that you know twenty neighbourhood aunties that come to the church

**jamie:** huh?

**moomin’s wife:** I HUGGED AT LEAST THIRTY AUNTIES EARLIER   
**moomin’s wife:** one of them gave me a very wet kiss on my cheeks and my hands

**jamie:** oh her   
**jamie:** did she give you candy?

**moomin’s wife:** yeah   
**moomin’s wife:** no one suspected a thing   
**moomin’s wife:** i’m so proud of myself   
**moomin’s wife:** this is the best birthday ever   
**moomin’s wife:** thank you for letting me be you, nana!

 

**aeyoung auntie from church (2)** \- 13:10

**auntie:** jaemin honey, you weren’t at church today

**jamie:** sorry?

**auntie:** there was another boy   
**auntie:** he was cute but a little bit weird   
**auntie:** he seemed a little awkward

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 13:12

**jamie:** what did renjun do at church   
**jamie:** i heard from an auntie that he seemed uncomfortable

**full sun:** oh yes   
**full sun:** he fidgeted wayyyyyy more than you usually do

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 13:13

**moomin’s wife:** i was so good   
**moomin’s wife:** right, hyuckie?

 

**lee and na (2)** \- 13:14

**jamie:** you better say yes

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 13:15

**full sun:** you were fantastic, ren


	12. full sun: meme.jpg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea what i was thinking when writing this chapter
> 
> but i'll start writing jeno's birthday chapter soon!!

**superior gay (7)** \- 14:19

 **girl’s jenoration:** anyone up for climbing onto the roof after school

 **full sun:** can’t we skip class and do it now

 **moomin’s wife:** you degenerate

 **full sun:** okay a few things  
**full sun:** first, my name isn’t ellen  
**full sun:** second, i have no idea what it means but i think it’s an insult

 **stock market:** no one is skipping class

 **jamie:** sorry i can’t go  
**jamie:** my dad is picking me up  
**jamie:** i have to go to dinner with his friends  
**jamie:** apparently one of them has a son?  
**jamie:** anyway i don’t really want to go because i’m really not up for socialising

 **full sun:** just skip then

 **jamie:** i shouldn’t  
**jamie:** just  
**jamie:** if i text you guys asking where the avocados are

 **bby jusing:** ooh a billie eilish reference we stan

 **jamie:** hahaha yeah  
**jamie:** that’s the code word  
**jamie:** it means that the socialisation encounter is not going good and i need you guys to save me

 **figaro magnifico:** ok good luck  
**figaro magnifico:** don’t bite his fingers

 **jamie:** noted with thanks, lele

~~~

 **superior gay (7)** \- 18:23

 **jamie:** hey guys where are the avocados? i feel like i’ve misplaced them  
**jamie:** wink wink nudge nudge  
**jamie:** ahem  
**jamie:** hellooooooo  
**jamie:** i said  
**jamie:** WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE

 **girl’s jenoration:** what’s going on hon

 **jamie:** he’s exactly what i expected him to be  
**jamie:** a dick

 **full sun:** oh shit go on

 **jamie:** so basically he’s a dancer as well ugh  
**jamie:** but he’s a snarky little shit  
**jamie:** he introduced himself by saying “i’m my school’s best dancer”  
**jamie:** even though i was literally putting my fist in my dad’s mouth the old man still goes and says “oh jaemin loves dance too!”  
**jamie:** so anyway he goes and says “oh but i bet i’m better” uGH I HATE HIM ALREADY AND NO ONE’S SAT DOWN YET

 **full sun:** why do you have your fist in your dad’s mouth  
**full sun:** put it in the guy’s mouth

 **moomin’s wife:** ew no don’t do that  
**moomin’s wife:** challenge him to a dance off

 **stock market:** okay stop all of you you’re being very immature rn  
**stock market:** nana  
**stock market:** what you need to do is to call him ‘my school’s best dancer’  
**stock market:** because that’s what he introduced himself as  
**stock market:** but you gotta sound bitchier as the night progresses

 **jamie:** oof thanks hyung

 **bby jusing:** is his name cheolsoo

 **jamie:** yeah

 **bby jusing:** oh i’ve met him before  
**bby jusing:** at a dance comp

 **jamie:** oh really?  
**jamie:** what’s he like?

 **bby jusing:** long story short  
**bby jusing:** if he’s the best dancer at school then his school is very sad  
**bby jusing:** especially if you take the fact that it’s a dance school into consideration

 **jamie:** so he’s BSing?

 **bby jusing:** definitely  
**bby jusing:** he came at the bottom of his category  
**bby jusing:** ignore any of the bullshit he comes up with

 **jamie:** well right now the grownups are asking him stuff about dance my dad included like i can’t answer those questions  
**jamie:** let’s play some games  
**jamie:** let’s sort people into hogwarts houses

 **figaro magnifico:** ooh fun  
**figaro magnifico:** jisung is a slytherin because he’s a fucken ssssssssnake

 **bby jusing:** sorry what did i do

 **figaro magnifico:** the other day, you ate my penis sandwich  
**figaro magnifico:** *peanut sandwich

 **jamie:** errrrrrr  
**jamie:** do you mean a peanut butter sandwich

 **figaro magnifico:** no  
**figaro magnifico:** just two slices of bread with peanuts inside

 **full sun:** is no one going to question the ‘penis sandwich’ thing ****  
**full sun:**

 **jamie:** ooh fun are we making memes now  
**jamie:**

 **girl’s jenoration:** omg you guys  
**girl’s jenoration:** isn’t jisung our school’s best dancer

 **bby jusing:** no  
**bby jusing:** jaemin hyung is

 **jamie:** no  
**jamie:** jen is!!

 **girl’s jenoration:** we’re the top three

 **jamie:** there may be a miscommunication in that ‘my school’s best dancer’ is referring to cheolsoo who introduced himself as such

 **girl’s jenoration:** OHH

 **jamie:** ok jokes aside though i really want to smack this guy  
**jamie:** the restaurant is famous for its milkshakes but you’ll be glad to know that i put my lactose intolerance as a priority  
**jamie:** i’m not prepared to throw up and lose all remaining dignity

**full sun:**

**jamie:** HAHAHAHAHAHA  
**jamie:** ily hyuck  
**jamie:** anyway  
**jamie:** cheolsoo asked why i didn’t get a milkshake so i told him i’m lactose intolerant  
**jamie:** so he frowned and asked if i still drank milk  
**jamie:** i was like yeah sometimes i guess

 **moomin’s wife:** you mean all the time

 **jamie:** hehe  
**jamie:** anyway he said “oh i can tell”  
**jamie:** so i’m like dude what’s that supposed to mean get to the fucking point  
**jamie:** and he’s like “your skin is greasy and you have pimples”  
**jamie:** WHAT THE FUCK

 **moomin’s wife:** i’m sorry, what?  
**moomin’s wife:** WHAT ZE EFF

 **jamie:** yup

 **stock market:** get in the car kiddos  
**stock market:** we’ll be in the parking lot in twenty minutes, jaem  
**stock market:** hang in there

 **jamie:** wait what are you doing

 **stock market:** tell him that you’re challenging him to dance battle

 **jamie:** sorry what

 **stock market:** you gotta stand up to him  
**stock market:** he’s being a dick right now

 **jamie:** i met him half an hour ago

 **stock market:** wow how can someone be a dick that quickly  
**stock market:** tell him he can bring two friends with him

 **bby jusing:** idk if he has that many  
**bby jusing:** oOH GET ROASTED

 **jamie:** idk if this is a good idea hyung

 **stock market:** of course it is  
**stock market:** i came up with it, that’s why  
**stock market:** it’ll put him in his place, and he’ll find out who the real best dancers are  
**stock market:** here’s what we’ll do: we’ll get some random passerby that isn’t busy and has no knowledge of any of our backgrounds and they can judge the winners of the battle  
**stock market:** jeno and jisung have volunteered themselves

 **jamie:** thanks y’all lovelies  
**jamie:** see you in a bit

~~~

**after the dance battle - 19:42**

“thanks for that, guys,” jaemin said after saying goodbye to his dad, getting into the passenger seat. “we thrashed them. even bob said so.” bob was the adjudicator of the battle.

“i know,” jeno added. “cheolsoo had no clue what hit him.”

jisung, wiping the sweat off his forehead, chuckled. “none of them could really dance. i worry about their school from time to time.”

“which one was cheolsoo again?” chenle asked. jaemin pointed at the tallest one, who just so happened to turn around at that very moment.

he strutted over. “what were you saying about me?”

“oh, i was just showing my dearest friend which one was cheolsoo.”

“you mean you don’t know?”

the seven boys—mark, renjun, jeno, hyuck, jaem, chenle and jisung—cracked up, laughing until their sides ached and they were clutching their ribs in order to ease the pain.

“no, why would we?” jaemin shot back once he had stopped wheezing. “my school’s best dancer is…” he paused for dramatic effect, waiting for either jisung or jeno to join in the conversation. when neither of them did, he repeated the last part again, before turning around to look at the two boys, who were both gesturing each other to say hello.

finally, after jeno called golden dibs against saying hi, jisung’s face popped out from behind jaem. “hi,” he said.

“that’s right,” jaemin agreed. “he’s the best dancer of my school. and he can actually dance well compared to other schools' best dancers.”

cheolsoo seemed to have choked on his words because at that moment, it had occurred to him that he could not think of any flaws in jisung’s dance from earlier. he struggled with himself for a moment before managing to find a limp retort. “you’re not the school’s best dancer!” he jeered at jaemin. “you have no right to talk! he isn't that good either!” as he did, he pointed at jisung, because he had no more insults to spit out.

jaemin was about to snap back, because he was officially pissed at that moment, before mark decided to cut in before an actual battle broke out. he rolled the passenger window right up, and reversed out of the parking space.

jisung was quiet for a minute, before he told mark to stop the car. “he told jaemin he has no right to talk since he’s not the school’s best dancer. but i do, since i'm supposedly the best dancer.” he pulled out a piece of paper from his backpack, before scribbling a message on it and folding it up into a paper plane. he threw it out of the window, doing his best to aim for cheolsoo.

it hit cheolsoo right on the head, and with great satisfaction, the seven boys watched as cheolsoo’s face morphed from confusion to annoyance to shock to rage as he opened the plane up and read the message that jisung had written on the inside, which read:

_“you’re a little bitch.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you like the memes
> 
> please say yes it took me fifteen minutes to figure out how to upload an image on my desktop to a fic
> 
>  
> 
> edit: archive is broken my phone says there are 275 kudoses but the laptop says 273?? and when i'm on the dashboard it says that there are 79 comments but inside the fic it says 80????????


	13. bby jusing: i began freestyling to fur elise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the AC in my room's been making weird noises for the last hour so i switched it off five minutes ago and it's already boiling in here
> 
> this chapter is a mess and i kind of just let it lead me in any direction but i like how it ended up

**superior gay (7)** \- 18:19

**full sun:** school is out at long last   
**full sun:** let’s all hang out this spring break

**jamie:** yeet

**stock market:** yeah ok   
**stock market:** i’ll be back from vancouver on the 26th   
**stock market:** (my aunt and uncle wanted me to leave on the 28th but nah i miss you guys too much)

**bby jusing:** when do you leave?

**stock market:** i’m boarding in ten mins haha

**full sun:** i miss you already markie poo

**jamie:** throws up 

**bby jusing:** actually when do all of you leave

**jamie:** oh jeno hyuckie and i are staying like for the entire break lmao

**moomin’s wife:** i’m going back to china on saturday

**figaro magnifico:** oh same

**moomin’s wife:** wait   
**moomin’s wife:** what time is your flight   
**moomin’s wife:** because i’m going to shanghai and then i’ll take the train up to jilin

**figaro magnifico:** 8:30 am

**moomin’s wife:** well then   
**moomin’s wife:** i guess lele and i are on the same flight

**bby jusing:** oh i’ll be in the airport at the same time   
**bby jusing:** 8:00 to busan   
**bby jusing:** i’m seeing my mom!!for the first time in like ten months

**jamie:** aww   
**jamie:** that’s so sweet!

**bby jusing:** yeah   
**bby jusing:** i saw my dad over christmas but i couldn’t see my mom until now

**jamie:** oh how come?

**bby jusing:** she gay   
**bby jusing:** wait what no who said that   
**bby jusing:** my parents separated in april and my dad moved to seoul and then i came along in june

**jamie:** aww i’m sorry

**bby jusing:** oh it’s fine don’t worry! haha

**stock market:** how do you sleep on a nine hour flight

**jamie:** read the history textbook

**moomin’s wife:** go drink milk, jaemin

**jamie:** with pleasure

**moomin’s wife:** nO I DIDN’T ACTUALLY MEAN THAT JAEM COME BACK   
**moomin’s wife:** PUT DOWN THE CARTON   
**moomin’s wife:** HANDS ON YOUR HEAD   
**moomin’s wife:** AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY   
**moomin’s wife:** no false moves boi

**bby jusing:** @mark hyung make friends with the person next to you!

**stock market:** ooh good idea!

**girl’s jenoration:** play with yourself   
**girl’s jenoration:** *BY yourself

**full sun:** smh jen

**girl’s jenoration:** challenge the guy next to you to a dance off

**stock market:** omg how    
**stock market:** look guys i need genuine suggestions i’m going to be stuck in a metal tube with no wifi and a tiny amount of space for nine hours

**jamie:** idk if this will help but it helped me when my back hurt and i couldn’t sleep   
**jamie:** take a nyquil and then see how long you can keep your eyes open   
**jamie:** because your body is a fuckin rebel, your eyes will want to close and then you’ll be right asleep

**bby jusing:** listen to soft music unless it makes you wanna dance instead of sleep   
**bby jusing:** that happened to me one time   
**bby jusing:** i began freestyling to fur elise

**full sun:** wow yes fur elise is a whole ass bop

**stock market:** sweet. thanks guys, i’m boarding now   
**stock market:** passport in hand, earphones in pocket, nyquil in backpack

**full sun:** hope you get a good seat partner!!

**stock market:** love you too, hyuckie

~~~

**superior gay (7)** \- 18:42

**stock market:** okay so guess who’s my seat partner

**girl’s jenoration:** kris hyung?

**stock market:** i fucking wish   
**stock market:** it’s that arrogant dancer guy   
**stock market:** cheolsoo or smth like that

**jamie:** OH MY

**full sun:** oH SHIT

**bby jusing:** eww   
**bby jusing:** how do you know it’s him

**stock market:** i can smell him   
**stock market:** you know when the school locker room and a kiddie ball pit at a birthday party have a child   
**stock market:** that’s the scent

**bby jusing:** EWW    
**bby jusing:** THAT REMINDS ME OF THE TIME AT THE CHINA DANCE COMPETITION WHEN WE REPRESENTED OUR SCHOOLS AND I SAT NEXT TO HIM AND HE-   
**bby jusing:** UGH I REMEMBER THE SCENT

**figaro magnifico:** ask for a coffee and just sniff it   
**figaro magnifico:** don’t drink it   
**figaro magnifico:** just straight up snort the coffee

**stock market:** chenle i-   
**stock market:** that’s actually a good idea   
**stock market:** i’ll get a hot chocolate instead

**full sun:** wait say hi to him and see if it’s actually him

**stock market:** okay i did and   
**stock market:** i shit you not   
**stock market:** he said    
**stock market:** “hi, i’m my school’s best dancer”   
**stock market:** IM A STRANGER WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT

**full sun:** oh my gosh   
**full sun:** you should tell one of the cabin crew that you don’t have enough space bc the guy next to you is taking up all your space with his big head

**figaro magnifico:** wow what a burn hyung

**girl’s jenoration:** just say “that’s nice” and then ignore him for the whole flight   
**girl’s jenoration:** you may need to put a pillow over your face or a blanket over his entire self to stop the smell

**full sun:** hey um i kinda need someone tall to help me here err i would ask mark hyung but given the current circumstances,,

**moomin’s wife:** what’s wrong

**full sun:** jeno? jaemin? jisung?

**figaro magnifico:** OUCH

**moomin’s wife:** well fine fuck you too @hyuck

**girl’s jenoration:** what happened

**jamie:** i love how jeno just acknowledges that he’s tall    
**jamie:** like wow full on daddy mode

**full sun:** wow whipped   
**full sun:** anyway the aircon in my room may or may not be on fire

**stock market:** babe,,   
**stock market:** what are you on about

**full sun:** it’s making weird whirring sounds and when i put my hand near it it’s super hot   
**full sun:** can someone pleaseeeeeee help

**girl’s jenoration:** renjun, jaemin, jeno and i are on the way

**bby jusing:** are you not jeno

**girl’s jenoration:** right   
**girl’s jenoration:** we’re coming up hyuck just turn the AC off and we’ll help you

**stock market:** let me know what happens, yeah?

**full sun:** will do, babe. safe flight, love you

**girl’s jenoration:** safe flight hyung!

**jamie:** safe trip back hyung <3

**bby jusing:** have a good one, hyung :)

**moomin’s wife:** safe flight hyung, good luck with cheolsoo

**figaro magnifico:** safe flight hyung!!   
**figaro magnifico:** see you soon

**stock market:** thanks guys <3   
**stock market:** all the best with the aircon problem   
**stock market:** switching off now. love you all, i’ll let you know when i land and i’ll see you guys very soon <3

**_stock market went offline._ **

**full sun:** damn   
**full sun:** hate to be debbie downer but it feels like he’s going off to uni already   
**full sun:** i’m crying

~~~

**superior gay (7)** \- 04:52

**stock market:** just landed!   
**stock market:** oh hyuck don’t cry i’ll be back before you know it and when i go to uni i’ll be just one phone call away

**full sun:** sounds like a charlie puth song to me

**stock market:** hehe   
**stock market:** anyway, how’s the aircon?

**girl’s jenoration:** since you left:   
**girl’s jenoration:** your and hyuck’s room caught on fire   
**girl’s jenoration:** we used the extinguishers to put the fire out and then have a foam fight   
**girl’s jenoration:** (in response to that, the admin came running in quite angrily)

**stock market:** oh geez

**girl’s jenoration:** that’s not all   
**girl’s jenoration:** hyuck got a nosebleed    
**girl’s jenoration:** chenle and renjun had a high note battle until the admins came in again to tell us off **  
** **girl’s jenoration** and now jaem and jisung are having an aggressive Just Dance competition that seems to consist of only the angry birds theme

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you're curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkZ3-s2oxcI 
> 
> that's the just dance to angry birds  
> and the song is now stuck in my head which is something else to think about while i try to sleep in this sweltering heat
> 
> if you really must know  
> i was the red bird


	14. stock market: care to take a joyride in my car?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENO ILY<3

**superior gay (7)** \- 14:02

**moomin’s wife:** happy birthday jeno <3

**full sun:** happy birthday jen jen my quad buddy

**stock market:** happy birthday jeno!!

**bby jisung:** happy birthday hyung ily :)

**figaro magnifico:** happy birthday jeno hyunggg

**girl’s jenoration:** thank you everyone i love you all sm

**full sun:** where’s jaemin?

**girl’s jenoration:** cuddling me

**figaro magnifico:** nation’s couple we stan 

**full sun:** eXCUSE ME

**figaro magnifico:** THAT’S WHAT I SAID THE OTHER DAY WHEN RENJUN HYUNG AND I TRIED TO STOP YOUR ROOM FROM CATCHING ON FIRE BUT YOU WANTED TALL PPL   
**figaro magnifico:** i feel like i’m throwing shade at mark hyung but i’m really not hyung i love you!!

**stock market:** love you too lele   
**stock market:** kindly refrain from throwing shade at the spectacular markhyuck relationship, however, for we all know we’re the superior ship

**girl’s jenoration:** :/

**jamie:** tell him babe it’s your birthday you can do whatever you want

**girl’s jenoration:** umm   
**girl’s jenoration:** moving on!! it’s occured to me that it’s actually girls’ jenoration and not girl’s jenoration

**girl’s jenoration changed their name to ‘girls’ jenoration’**

**girls’ jenoration:** now let’s move on from the fact that i’ve misspelt my screen name for the last two years

**moomin’s wife:** so umm my parents are buying the lotto (jeno if they win i’ll give 15% to you for your birthday)   
**moomin’s wife:** and i don’t want to so i’m waiting in the supermarket next door for them   
**moomin’s wife:** i just came back two days ago and my parents are telling me to pretend to be interested in peanut butter?

**jamie:** aren’t you deathly allergic to peanuts

**moomin’s wife:** and you’re lactose intolerant   
**moomin’s wife:** don’t worry i’m responsible enough not to buy it   
**moomin’s wife:** something you should learn from, jaemin

**bby jusing:** my mom told me to tell you “tell that nice renjun boy not to eat nuts if he’s allergic!”

**moomin’s wife:** i won’t, thanks jisung’s mom

**jamie:** how is it in busan, jisung?

**bby jusing:** really, really hot but also really nice!   
**bby jusing:** it’s so different hanging with my mom versus hanging with my dad but i’m not complaining either way   
**bby jusing:** but i’ve been heading down to the beach every day with my friends from primary!

**figaro magnifico:** seen any cute guys on the beach?

**bby jusing:** no   
**bby jusing:** lele hon you’re all that i could ever want

 

**nana and lele (2)** \- 14:05

**figaro magnifico:** omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg 

**jamie:** i can hear you screaming from china

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 14:06

**bby jusing:** but there was this girl from elementary that keeps flirting with me and she’s doing it more since i told her i was gay??smh

**jamie:** oh no

**stock market:** anyway what have you three musketeers been doing while we’ve been away

**girl’s jenoration:** not much haha

**jamie:** jeno and i have been cuddling for the last five hours   
**jamie:** and we’re going to pick up ali in two minutes   
**jamie:** hyuck needs to babysit him

**full sun:** don’t you just love domestic 00 liners

**stock market:** you don’t have a car though

**jamie:** i tried hyung,,

**stock market:** ohmygoshno

**jamie:** i tried my best to stop them,,,

**stock market:** but your best wasn’t good enough,,,,,

**jamie:** yeah   
**jamie:** we’re getting on the quads

**stock market:** hYUCK   
**stock market:** (i can’t yell at jen because he’s the birthday boy!!)   
**stock market:** YOUR BROTHER IS ONLY ONE AND A BIT   
**stock market:** WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE CAN GET ON A QUAD

**full sun:** HE’S ALREADY ONE AND A BIT   
**full sun:** IT’S NEVER TOO EARLY TO RIDE A QUAD BIKE

**stock market:** WHAT IF HE FALLS OFF HE’S STILL A BABY HE’LL CRACK HIS SKULL AND HIS BRAINS WILL SPILL OUT OF HIS EARS THE SAME WAY EGG YOLK SPILLS OUT OF A CRACKED SHELL

**figaro magnifico:** hyung i worry about the extent that you have thought about this

**bby jusing:** also what you said when hyungs took  _ me _ on the quad bikes

**stock market:** EXACTLY I STILL THINK JISUNG GOING ON A QUAD BIKE IS A BAD IDEA   
**stock market:** OF COURSE I THINK THAT PUTTING ALI ON A QUAD BIKE IS A BAD IDEA

**girl’s jenoration:** i’ll give him my helmet!!

**stock market:** jen i can’t tell you off but that isn’t the point!!   
**stock market:** hyuck you’re taking your 1 year 4 month old brother on a quad bike   
**stock market:** i will actually give jaemin my car keys to drive the car if it means that ali isn’t on the quad bikes

**girl’s jenoration:** why not me or hyuck??

**moomin’s wife:** *hyuck or me

**jamie:** i mean it is jeno’s birthday...

**full sun:** hyung we’ll accept your car keys under one condition   
**full sun:** that you let me drive

**stock market:** oh god   
**stock market:** no hyuckie out of all you three i am not letting you take a joyride in my car   
**stock market:** you know what y’all we’ve hit rock bottom    
**stock market:** i’m calling lucas

 

**kind of responsible (2)** \- 14:13

**moomin’s wife:** okay i’m not trying to doubt your ability to hyung or anything, yeah

**stock market:** hey that was my line

**moomin’s wife:** but why lucas hyung?   
**moomin’s wife:** you had so many responsible options...taeyong hyung, doyoung hyung, kun hyung   
**moomin’s wife:** even ten hyung   
**moomin’s wife:** maybe not that last one

**stock market:** okay i’m going to stop you right there   
**stock market:** ten hyung is a wine mom but he’s not really a mom   
**stock market:** he’s just wine. i’m literally giving the kids wine

**moomin’s wife:** fair point. ten hyung’s life motto: rubbing alcohol for outside boo-boos, drinking alcohol for internal boo-boos   
**moomin’s wife:** he’s more of a wine bro

**stock market:** mmhm. lucas always wanted to be in the same year as me so he could be part of our friend group   
**stock market:** but then because he has an early birthday    
**stock market:** alas, he ended up in the same year as jungwoo ;-;

**moomin’s wife:** he’s one of the sweetest guys i know   
**moomin’s wife:** and carries smol boi energy   
**moomin’s wife:** but that just makes him a tall version of the three musketeers

**stock market:** don’t worry, ren   
**stock market:** lucas is immature and he’s just as bad as the other 00 lines

**moomin’s wife:** aww thanks

**stock market:** don’t worry i know that you’re kind of repsonsible

**moomin’s wife changed the group name to ‘kind of repsonsible’**

**stock market:** oof   
**stock market:** anyway ik lucas isn’t the most mature/responsible guys around but i trust him enough to know that he’s not going to let hyuck take my car for a joyride

**moomin’s wife:** how do you know?

**stock market:** because he’ll do that himself

**moomin’s wife:** how is that any better

**stock market:** i’m not saying that hyuck would deliberately crash a car with his baby brother in the back   
**stock market:** but he doesn’t have a license and he tends to speed quite a bit   
**stock market:** the thing is, if lucas knew ali was in the backseat, he would drive like my 102 y.o. grandma

 

**99 liners (2)** \- 14:17

**stock market:** lucas 

**lucas bieber:** mark

**stock market:** i just realised we have the most basic white boy names ever

**lucas bieber:** holy shit your right

**stock market:** **you’re   
**stock market:** sorry i just had to   
**stock market:** anyway i was going to ask you something

**lucas bieber:** yeah?

**stock market:** care to take a joyride in my car?

**lucas bieber:** YES YES YES    
**lucas bieber:** what’s the occasion?

**stock market:** aww sweet     
**stock market:** hey i’m trusting you here because    
**stock market:** hyuckie has a tendency to speed but they need to pick his little brother up from the station   
**stock market:** the original plan was that hyuck would drive a quad bike to do that but given that ali is barely one you can see why that’s a bad idea

**lucas bieber:** YAY    
**lucas bieber:** THANKS FOR TRUSTING ME 

**stock market:** no worries   
**stock market:** thanks for doing this

**lucas bieber:** anytime    
**lucas bieber:** okay bby

**stock market:** love you bby

~~~

**superior gay (7)** \- 14:32

**full sun:** lucas hyung is so fun    
**full sun:** he drove fast but ali still has all his body parts together so don’t worry guys

 

**99 liners (2)** \- 14:32

**stock market:** hi i just heard from the kids that you’re really fun and they’re all home safely so thanks lucas:)

**lucas bieber:** no problemo!!

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 14:33

**full sun:** now if you excuse us, lucas hyung, jeno, jaemin and i need to rub together our collective two brain cells and try to feed ali

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of an unfunny chapter that i'll probably rewrite later - sorry about that; i just want this out for jeno's birthday
> 
> also lucas!! i love this boi and yeahhh


	15. jamie: 1) renjunnie has a kink for overly savory food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a road trip planning session and a vegemite dilemma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so firstly
> 
> i know it's been a really, really long time. like, three months since i last updated. and i didn't write a birthday chapter for hyuckie. so i'd like to start by saying that i'm so sorry to hyuck, and to his stans, and to everyone who anticipated a chapter...i just started my summer break so i'll do my best to write more over these few weeks and make it up to everyone
> 
> if you're still here, thank you so much for continuing to support this fic, it really means a lot to me
> 
> i've been busy with exams and competitions, but it's all over now...i almost forgot how much i love writing this fic.
> 
> i had an idea for this chapter so i tried it and let it lead me. and then i had another idea. and then it just became a mish-mash of crazy ideas. but i had fun writing it and i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it:)

**superior gay (7)** \- 03:32

 **stock market:** guys so i was thinking

 **jamie:** at three in the morning?

 **stock market:** yes

 **jamie:** go to sleep hyung!!

 **stock market:** ok

**_stock market went offline._ **

**jamie:** that took surprisingly less effort than i expected

**_jamie went offline._ **

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 07:51

 **stock market:** anyway before jaem told me to go to sleep i was thinking, right  
**stock market:** since everyone’s been busy with finals and whatnot and we didn’t really celebrate hyuckie’s birthday

 **full sun:** i would be pissed but i was too busy being mad that i had a biology exam on my birthday  
**full sun:** still failing bio but anyway continue babe

 **stock market:** what do y’all say to a road trip? 

 **full sun:** AWESOME  
**full sun:** Y’ALL ARE FORGIVEN

 **bby jusing:** omg i have friends! that i can go on a road trip with! 

 **full sun:** i love how jisung says it like he forgot he has friends

 **bby jusing:** i didn’t have friends before

 **full sun:** that’s so so sad i still fail to understand why kids your age don’t want to be your friend :(

 **bby jusing:** they think i’m a) weird because i love dance and b) rude because i’m only really comfortable talking to you guys  
**bby jusing:** but it’s fine dw hyung 

 **full sun:** that’s still mean of them though >:( 

 **bby jusing:** don’t worry hyung please don’t make lucas hyung beat the kids up

 **stock market:** lucas is busy anyway  
**stock market:** sure, he could easily beat them up with them muscles but he’d be too busy working out  
**stock market:** i’m sure he’d love to protect our youngest bby tho

 **bby jusing:** i’m baby

 **full sun:** i can go beat them up

 **bby jusing:** hyung please don’t it’s fine!!  
**bby jusing:** we’re wayyy off topic where are we going for our road trip?

 **stock market:** hyuckie choose

 **full sun:** i did lots of research in the space of five seconds and i found this link  
**full sun:** <https://matadornetwork.com/read/how-to-road-trip-south-korea/>  
**full sun:** this sounds like a lot of fun but we need to think ahead

 **moomin’s wife:** jdfkdlsaklfjsd could you have had this kind of enthusiasm when we worked on our history poster the other day

 **girls’ jenoration:** remember when ren had a crush on his history teacher

 **moomin’s wife:** still not over it

 **girls’ jenoration:** ew

 **full sun:** focus guys  
**full sun:** first things first, who’s got spotify premium

 **moomin’s wife:** i do

 **bby jusing:** i used to

 **jamie:** what happened to it?

 **bby jusing:** my account got suspended  
**bby jusing:** because i kept playing baby shark

 **jamie:** oh damn

 **full sun:** okie it’s decided, renjun is the DJ and also professional navigator

 **moomin’s wife:** wait no i need to call shotgun  
**moomin’s wife:** i’ve always wanted to call shotgun  
**moomin’s wife:** SHOTGUN

 **stock market:** my uncle in korea’s gonna be in canada for the summer and he said i can have the van until he’s back  
**stock market:** i can drive but does anyone else want to take shifts behind the wheel?

 **figaro magnifico:** i genuinely thought you asked if anyone wanted to take a shit behind the wheel

 **moomin’s wife:** lele hon,,  
**moomin’s wife:** i think you should get your eyes checked

 **full sun:** i can drive

 **stock market:** no you can’t hyuck you don’t have a licence

 **jamie:** i can drive from time to time:)

 **bby jusing:** i can drive in busan if you guys want  
**bby jusing:** ooh and you guys can meet my mum!!

 **figaro magnifico:** he’s so soft and squish

 **bby jusing:** you’re soft and squish lele 

 **jamie:** this is beautiful

 **full sun:** so if you read the link i sent, there’s a theme park that we could go to  
**full sun:** it has the world’s steepest roller coaster which goes at 104 km/h

 **stock market:** and that’s a fast ass ride

 **moomin’s wife:** @hyuck why could you not have been this enthusiastic about researching china’s civil war smh

 **full sun:** :P

 **jamie:** sorry this is offtopic but @jeno can you pass me mouthwash and then lead me to the nearest sink please thanks  
**jamie:** also @renjun i hope your sandwiches are filled with toothpaste 

 **girls’ jenoration:** what happened babe

 **jamie:** i forgot to buy contact lens solution yesterday and they dried out overnight  
**jamie:** so they felt like hell when i put them in and i had to give up on them  
**jamie:** anyway, in the midst of my poor vision and hunger, i put some nutella on my toast  
**jamie:** but instead of nutella, i put renjun’s vegemite on it and it’s gross djskfjklsjfld

 **stock market:** HAHAHA OMG NANA

 **bby jusing:** HYUNG  
**bby jusing:** VEGEMITE IS GREAT BUT I FEEL BAD FOR THE SOUL CAUGHT UNAWARE

 **moomin’s wife:** omg i am so so sorry nana i’ll go get you the mouthwash

 **jamie:** hahaha it’s fine boi i poison myself with milk every day  
**jamie:** it’ll just come back to you in a way you don’t expect ;)  
**jamie:** not in peanuts—GUYS PSA IF REN EATS PEANUTS HE DIES DON’T GIVE HIM PEANUT BUTTER 

 **moomin's** wife: or almonds:)

 **jamie:** OR ALMONDS

 **figaro magnifico:** i have a few questions  
**figaro magnifico:** 1) renjun-hyung likes vegemite??  
**figaro magnifico:** 2) i thought you have a pair of glasses??? in your room?????

 **jamie:** 1) renjunnie has a kink for overly savory food  
**jamie:** or something like that

 **moomin's wife:** eye-

 **jamie:** 2) the main priority is to get this poison! off of my tongue!! and then i’ll get jen to guide me to my locker

 **girls’ jenoration:** babe i’m happy to help you but pls keep your glasses in the room thx

 **jamie:** will do 

 **full sun:** how have you been texting us the entire time without your glasses??

 **jamie:** i can still see up close! really really up close!!

 **stock market:** please text us when you get your glasses jaem

 **jamie:** will do hyung

 **stock market:** and please please please bring your glasses to the road trip 

 **jamie:** copy that  
**jamie:** hyung you can’t go on amusement park rides, right?

 **stock market:** nope  
**stock market:** most people have eyes that are in the shapes of basketballs i guess  
**stock market:** mine are kind of like american footballs so, um  
**stock market:** they could fall out if the ride was too fast

 **jamie:** rennie is that scientifically sound?

 **moomin’s wife:** idk it doesn’t sound like it but given that hyung’s vision is terrible it’s very plausible

 **girls’ jenoration:** we got nana’s glasses!! 

 

 **ren and jen (2)** \- 08:31

 **girls’ jenoration:** he’s adorable

 **moomin’s wife:** huh?

 **girls’ jenoration:** look at nana wearing his glasses  
**girls’ jenoration:**   
**girls’ jenoration:** HE’S SO CUTE I’M SQUEALING

 **moomin’s wife:** you are his biggest fanboy i swear this is hilarious  
**moomin’s wife:** screenshotted? yep. saved? of course. hotel? trivago.

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 08:35

 **jamie:** real life adult question here  
**jamie:** if a close friend of yours liked to eat vegemite, do you:  
**jamie:** a) stage an intervention for them  
**jamie:** b) unfriend them  
**jamie:** c) report them

 **full sun:** this sounds like the kind of shit that happens in bitlife

 **jamie:** it is

 **figaro magnifico:** one time someone ruptured my toe and i died :”)

 **full sun:** that’s nice, lele  
**full sun:** oh you meant in bitlife

 **jamie:** HELLO WE NEED ANSWERS PEOPLE

 **girls’ jenoration:** but wait my peeps there are more choices, for you could also choose to:  
**girls’ jenoration:** d) throw the vegemite away

 **moomin’s wife:** NOT MY VEGEMITE YOU BITCH

 **stock market:** i could swear that was a line from harry potter but okay

 **girls’ jenoration:** or e) throw the entire renjun away

 **moomin’s wife:** welp

 **bby jusing:** this is going to be the most interesting road trip i’ve ever been on  
**bby jusing:** also the first road trip i’ve been on but ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda short,, but i hope you liked it xx
> 
> also i looked up pics of jaemin with glasses on for the sake of this chapter and that's why i've changed my profile pic ten times today :)
> 
> also at the competition i was at i made a new friend from australia and he gave me some vegemite  
> putting vegemite on a salted cracker is glory on the tongue don't @ me on this


	16. bby jusing: 𝖔𝖍 𝖒𝖞 𝖌𝖔𝖘𝖍 𝖎𝖙'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖆 𝖕𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖒

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is:  
> \- crazy  
> \- a little slow on action  
> \- full of shitty humor based on one (probably overused) joke 
> 
> and half of it is redundant but the other half is kind of necessary in the lead up for the rest of the road trip chapters

**superior gay (7)** \- 05:17

 **full sun:** question: whose idea was it to get up this early???

 **stock market:** ikr which asshole

\---

**_last night_ **

**superior gay (7)** \- 01:26

 **stock market:** HOES GO THE FRICK TO BED WE’RE GETTING UP AT 5:15 TOMORROW SO WE CAN PACK

\---

 **superior gay (7)** \- 05:18

 **stock market:** oops   
**stock market:** look, i have foresight and i know that none of us pack until either the night before or the morning of departure

 **full sun:** aight

 **jamie:** i’m so excited i can’t wait to go djflkafjklds

 **full sun:** how does he have this much energy

 **girls’ jenoration:** he drank jaemin juice

 **jamie:** not just that but i’m also riding on aDRENALINE

 **bby jusing:** ???????

 **jamie:** THIS TIME LAST YEAR MY BACK HURT SO BAD THAT I COULDN’T MOVE AND LOOK AT US NOW I’M NOT ONLY UP AND WALKING BUT ALSO BREATHING TOO   
**jamie:** hey guys crazy idea

 **moomin’s wife:** all of your ideas are crazy ideas

 **jamie:** rood >:(   
**jamie:** what if i ordered a latte instead

 **full sun:** yeah, there’d be less caffeine and you’d stop getting headaches   
**full sun:** wait hang on   
**full sun:** lattes are mostly milk STICK WITH THE BLACK COFFEE BOI

 **jamie:** copy that

 **bby jusing:** hyung did you go to starbucks to get coffee?

 **jamie:** yeah

 **bby jusing:** they’re open at this hour???

 **jamie:** they’ve been open since four in the morning ^.^

 **girls’ jenoration:** babe you need to sleep

 **jamie:** no i don’t, i have zoom juice and adrenaline   
**jamie:** sungie, don’t go out to starbucks your own   
**jamie:** meet you at the front steps in five

 **bby jusing:** sure, thanks hyung

 **stock market:** @jaem/@jisung can you pick up a coffee for me please i’ll pay you back later

 **bby jusing:** is cappuccino okay?

 **stock market:** yeah that’s fine thanks sungie you order please i don’t trust jaemin not to poison me with jaemin juice

 **jamie:** love you too hyung

 **bby jusing:** what is in jaemin juice i’m kind of curious kinda wanna drink it

 **jamie:** all of you bar jeno stop referring to my starbucks order as ‘jaemin juice’   
**jamie:** y’all wilding out here, i’m dating jeno and i’d like it to stay that way

 **bby jusing:** HAHAHA i promise i don’t mean it like that hyung   
**bby jusing:** i’m not into you   
**bby jusing:** i have chenle

 **jamie:** good. run while you can, sungie   
**jamie:** jkjk jeno babe i’m not the abomination i make myself out to be i love you please love me back i’m tinkerbell i need attention or i’ll die

 **girls’ jenoration:** i know you’re not an abomination   
**girls’ jenoration:** and i love you too

 

 **nana and lele (2)** \- 05:26

 **figaro magnifico:** don’t mention anything about what jisung said

 **jamie:** got it

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 05:26

 **full sun:** is no one going to talk about how jisung said he has lele

 

 **nana and lele (2)** \- 05:27

 **jamie:** sorry can’t help there :P

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 05:27

 **bby jusing:** i mean it’s the truth i guess haha

 **jamie:** i can literally hear jisung sweating through the text   
**jamie:** none of you will ever get on my level of confident gay

 **bby jusing:** haha no, what i meant was that i don’t need jaemin juice because   
**bby jusing:** um   
**bby jusing:** lele is my alarm clock and i have him so it’s all g

 **jamie:**  please i beg you stop saying jaemin juice

 **bby jusing:** jaemin. juice.

 **girls’ jenoration:** jisung, jaemin is your hyung…

 **jamie:** JEN BABE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND ALL BUT PLEASE ODN’T ENCOURAGE HIM

 **moomin’s wife:** odn’t

 **bby jusing:** jaemin hyung juice

 **jamie:** i will literally tell you the order if you stop saying that

 **bby jusing:** thanks hyung!

 **jamie:** venti ice americano with four espresso shots   
**jamie:** there. happy? no more saying jaemin juice, okay?

 **bby jusing:** yep, thanks hyung!   
**bby jusing:** off i go to get some jaemin juice:)))))

 **jamie:** WAIT FOR ME BOI YOU CANT GO ON YOUR OWN YOU COULD GET ATTACKED AND ALSO I NEED MORE COFFEE   
**jamie:** AND STOP CALLING IT JAEMIN JUICE

\---

**_eventually, the dreamies started packing their bags and jisung came back to the dorm to drink his ‘jaemin juice.’ after he peed for the 13th time that morning, the dreamies finally managed to hit the road._ **

**_when they got on the highway, renjun was sure that there was no way mark could get lost, so he opened jisung’s text._ **

 

 **rennie and sungie (2)** \- 07:21

 **bby jusing:** renjunnie hyung

 **moomin’s wife:** yeah, sungie?

 **bby jusing:** is everyone asleep?

 **moomin’s wife:** turn around and see for yourself   
**moomin’s wife:** i can’t look behind for too long or my head will explode

 **bby jusing:** but you can read in the car???

 **moomin’s wife:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **bby jusing:** that literally gives me zero answers but ok

 **moomin’s wife:** anyway, why did you text?

 **bby jusing:** idk, no reason

 **moomin’s wife:** u sure??

 **bby jusing:** um   
**bby jusing:** where do i start

 **moomin’s wife:** take your time

 **bby jusing:** i like chenle

 **moomin’s wife:** he likes you too, go on

 **bby jusing:** idk what to do about it   
**bby jusing:** wait what

 **moomin’s wife:** yes he likes you now ask him on a date

 **bby jusing:** WHAT   
**bby jusing:** hyung i can barely ask another kid to pass me the milk at breakfast what makes you think i can ask lele to go on a date

 **moomin’s wife:** numero uno, your year group minus you all suck but lele isn’t like that so you can’t compare the two situations   
**moomin’s wife:** dos, you’re not jaem. receiving milk doesn’t give you painful nausea. if we apply that analogy to our case at hand, asking lele out won’t hurt you either

 **bby jusing:** i am,,   
**bby jusing:** so very confused ??¿;?;;.¿

 **moomin’s wife:** the point is, there’s no harm in asking lele out and i really feel that he likes you a lot too

 **bby jusing:** i might hit up the beach with him when we’re in busan and y’all are at my mum’s house

 **moomin’s wife:** oh?

 **bby jusing:** yeah, i even brought my swimming stuff

 **moomin’s wife:** yo last time you, hyuck and jen went to the sea with the quad bike, didn’t you get a rash from the seawater???

 **bby jusing:** yeah, and?

 **moomin’s wife:** shouldn’t you, i don’t know, avoid swimming in the sea?????

 **bby jusing:** ohh dw hyung i’m not swimming in the sea

 **moomin’s wife:** then?????? why are you bringing your swimming shit?????????

 **bby jusing:** for the 𝖆𝖊𝖘𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖙𝖎𝖈, hyung

 **moomin’s wife:** omg what is with you and that font   
**moomin’s wife:** are you going through some goth phase or something??

 **bby jusing:** 𝖔𝖍 𝖒𝖞 𝖌𝖔𝖘𝖍 𝖎𝖙'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙 𝖆 𝖕𝖍𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖒   
**bby jusing:** 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖎𝖘 𝖒𝖞 𝖙𝖗𝖚𝖊 𝖎𝖉𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖙𝖞

 **moomin’s wife:** lord help me when we added you to the chat in january you were not like this

 **bby jusing:** i know, i’ve had a character improvement:)))))))

 **moomin’s wife:** i-

 **bby jusing:** o-

 **moomin’s wife:** what

 **bby jusing:** a-   
**bby jusing:** oh i thought we were just randomly listing vowels and putting a dash after it

 **moomin’s wife:** no, sungie

 **bby jusing:** hyung

 **moomin’s wife:** yeah?

 **bby jusing:** i love you

 **moomin’s wife:** aww i love you too jisungie

 **bby jusing:**   
**bby jusing:** hyung

 **moomin’s wife:** yeah?

 **bby jusing:** was mark hyung supposed to take that exit?

 **moomin’s wife:**   
**moomin’s wife:** FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me, updating twice in a month :”)
> 
> “jaemin juice” was probably very overused and will go on the shelf for a long time, never to be seen ever again
> 
> anyway i’ll start writing about the actual road trip next chapter... lots of prose ahead ahahaha


	17. interlude: let me out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today's chapter title comes from the song "let me out (놓아줘)" by shinee’s jonghyun, it's a great song and if you haven't already i seriously recommend giving it a listen!
> 
> link to song (credits to the owner): https://youtu.be/TFK_T3yhzk0

_“a few miles south of sokcho, the river drops in close to the hillside bank and runs deep and green. the water is warm too, for it has slipped twinkling over the yellow sands in the sunlight before reaching the narrow pool…”_

watching renjun holding his camera out in front of him, donghyuck clears his throat. “i honestly cannot tell whether renjun is recording a vlog or just reciting _of mice and men_.”

renjun whips around, glaring at hyuck. “i was trying to record, until you asked me whether i was reciting _of mice and men_ … for the third time.”

the younger boy snorts, before going back to join jeno and mark in setting up the tents. he tries to put the poles into the tent, but misses the flap. the pole bounces off the skin just below jeno’s eye.

as jeno goes over to hyuck’s side of the tent to slug him in the shoulder, hyuck holds his arms out to shield his face. “i’m sorry! i missed the hole.” 

without missing a beat, jeno replies, “that’s what he said,” before his phone rings. “hello? babe, what’s up?”

on the other end of the line, jaemin pauses. “um, i’m honestly not quite sure why i called in the first place. i guess i just miss you.”

“GUYS!” jeno calls. “JAEMIN MISSES ME! EVEN THOUGH HE’S FIVE MINUTES AWAY!”

jaem rolls his eyes but smiles. “you know, feel free to get a megaphone and announce it to the entire park. i think i can hear you from the market. anyway, how are the tents going?” 

“other than how hyuckie nearly took my eye out a minute ago? pretty good.”

“guess you could say it’s pretty in-tents? get it? like, intense?” 

as jaemin cackles to himself on the other end, jeno sighs to himself. “jaem,” he says, trying to restrain himself from laughing, “i’m breaking up with you.”

jaemin gasps, exaggerating the squeak of his lungs expanding. “betrayal. fraud. lies. deception. i fell in love with lee jeno but now I don’t even know if that’s his true identity.” 

“hey, stop quoting my drarry fanfics.”

“twelve year old you was… interesting.”

jeno blushes. “i wanted to be as popular as the author of the milk fic. obviously, i didn’t get there.”

“i still love you, my not-famous milk-fic-author-wannabe boyfriend.”

“love you too, jaem. now hurry up and bring back the fish cakes.”

\---

later that evening, after the seven boys finish eating their fish cakes in front of the setting sun, they begin winding down for the evening. 

“still can’t believe you followed cheolsoo back.” jaemin sighs, as if he were a father disappointed in his child. it’s just him, chenle and jisung, for everyone else had gone into their tents for the night, bar jeno who was in the bathroom. “because i sure as fuck don’t want to follow him and his propaganda mission.”

jisung giggles. “i don’t like not following people back. it was right after the dance competition, and i didn’t want to follow him, but it just bugged me if i didn’t.”

jaemin sighs but smiles anyway. 

“i don’t get it—why is cheolsoo such a bitch to you, hyung?” jisung asks, getting straight to the point.

“to be honest, i don’t know either.”

chenle looks up for a moment, thinking, before staring at a leaf that falls into the river and gets carried down the stream. “it’s the same reason as to why the kids in jisung’s year act like complete assholes towards him. we have big dick energy and they’re just jealous with their miniscule dick energy.”

even though jaemin is pretty sure that there are other reasons why cheolsoo acts the way he does—he’s convinced that jisung’s year group are just bitches—he can’t help but laugh along with the joke, before his grin gets wiped off his face when he checks his messages. 

 

 **mom (2)** \- 20:23

 **mom:** what’s this, jaemin?  
**mom:**

 **jamie:** um  
**jamie:**  hang on

 

“i’ll be back in a bit, guys. when jeno comes back from the bathroom, if he asks, i’m in our tent, okay?” jaemin’s face is drained of all colour, so when he gets up so suddenly, the two younger boys wonder if he’ll be alright.

jaemin crawls into the tent and curls up into a ball, pressing his forehead into his arms, which rest on his knees. he knows that only one of his followers has no profile picture, and that’s the person who betrayed him, and that's none other than kim cheolsoo. 

the tent draws open. “jisung told me that you’d be in here. he and lele seemed really worried about you. is everything okay?”

“no,” jaemin whispers, looking up. “it’s not. it’s not okay. nothing’s okay at the moment.”

jeno frowns, his eyebrows inching towards each other. he wipes jaemin’s cheeks, which are streaked with tears that even nana himself didn’t know were there. “what happened? do you want to talk about it?”

and then it all comes pouring out of jaem—how his mom sent him a screenshot of the two of them sharing a crisp and the caption explicitly saying he’s gay, how the only person that would’ve known his parents well enough to tell them about the post was cheolsoo, how his mom was emotionless in her message, how he had no clue whether he’d still be close with his parents after this, how he wishes he’d never posted that on Instagram, how he wishes he’d never accepted cheolsoo’s request back in 2015, how he’s fucked up so badly, how he hates himself so much-

jeno holds his hand out, hovering just a few centimetres over jaemin’s cheek. “may i?” and when jaemin nods, jen leans in, his hands cupping jaem’s face. 

his lips just touching his boyfriend’s, he stays there for a moment before he moves back again to speak, “it hurts my heart so much when you say that you hate yourself.”

he places another kiss on jaemin’s lips. 

“cheolsoo is a fucking asshole, and you’re so much better than him. and he is in no way a good measure of your self-worth.”

kiss.

“and i won’t force you, but if/when you come out to your mom, know that i’ll be with you the whole time. no matter what she says.”

kiss.

jaemin stays silent, as if he’s trying to process everything that jeno’s just said. 

when nothing comes out of his mouth, jeno presses yet another kiss to jaemin’s lips, before:

“jaem, babe, i love you so, so much. you asking me out was the best thing that could ever happen to me, and if i were to be stuck in one day for the rest of my life, i’d pick that day.”

finally, jaem loses it. sobs that were kept in come spilling out, like soda fizzing so much from a mentos that it erupts from its bottle, the cap going flying. everything that’s been bothering him—from cheolsoo outing him to his parents, to feeling like a shitty dancer, to knowing that he worries irrationally about things beyond his control—comes exploding out of him, and now that he’s started, he can’t stop. 

amid his tears, he can feel jeno’s arms engulf him in a sense of stability within a world of closing walls and uneven ground. grabbing fistfuls of jeno’s shirt as if relaxing his grip by a little would mean the two would lose each other, jaemin buries his face into the side of his boyfriend’s neck.

and although jaem’s cries soon die down, the two of them stay like this for a long time. because no matter how much jeno wants to protect the boy he holds in his arms, the world is a cruel, cruel place for na jaemin. 

\---

after a long night and a tranquil dawn, jaemin emerges his very stiff neck from jeno’s shoulder. 

jeno stirs, before turning his head to look at jaem. “morning. did you sleep well?”

“i’ve had better nights.”

“i can imagine. and you will have better nights in the future.” 

jaemin sits up. “i’m going for a walk. i’ll catch you in, what, half an hour?”

“take your phone with you.” jeno reaches over to pass it to him.

“thanks.” 

only, he doesn’t look at it once while he follows the winding river, or when he goes through the twisty path lined by trees that tower over him like ancient monuments. and on the way back, he finds an isolated bench. one where there aren’t any shops nearby, or any old men doing tai chi and chatting loudly, or any kids enjoying a family camping trip by playing tag on an early tuesday morning.

jaemin remembers being that small and going on fun trips with his parents.

realising that those days could very well be over, he contemplates calling his mom back.

but that, he figures, can easily wait until later on in the day. maybe when everyone’s too tired to function after hiking later, he’ll go back to the isolated bench and talk to his mom.

he slips his phone back into his pocket. 

\---

when he gets back, everyone else is still in their tents, minus renjun, who’s crouched near the river, gazing intently at the rocks where jaemin, jisung and chenle sat last night. “hey, jaem.”

“sup, ren. whatcha doing?” jaemin asks, placing each step down to the river with careful deliberation until he’s next to renjun. 

“filming our video.” he points to his camera. “mark-hyung’s graduating in under five months… we have to make the most of the days we have left with him.”

jaemin’s lips turn upwards at the corners by a few millimeters. “you make it sound like he’s dying.”

“i guess it’s also for hyuckie. now, i’m no expert-”

jaemin smiles a little more; the most he has in the past 24 hours. “you’re no expert? isn’t there something between you and that exchange student from england in mark-hyung’s year group?”

“harvey? hmm, it’s complicated. anyway, you okay?”

even though renjun doesn’t mention anything specifically, jaemin feels like he’s referring to what happened last night. he’s not sure whether jeno told renjun to look out for jaem because of it, or whether ren heard him crying through the thin walls of the tents, but either way, he knows that it’s another person that loves him. 

busy thinking about this, jaemin doesn’t reply. 

when renjun realises that his gaze can’t break up jaemin’s train of thought, he touches jaem’s shoulder. “whatever it is, if it’s not okay now, it will get better. love you, bro.”

watching leaves float down the river the same way that chenle did last night, jaemin realises how relaxing it is, and how for the first time since his mom texted last night, he’s hearing quiet in his brain. no chaos, no pain… 

just quiet; just peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how i feel about this chapter bc i really enjoyed writing it but at the same time i feel the prose contrasts the rest of the fic too much?? i guess that's why i felt kind of nervous to post it hahaha
> 
> also i feel really really sad for jaem in this chapter... while this is loosely based off my personal experience, it’s just... i feel bad for hurting a soft bean like nana
> 
> let me know what you think!
> 
> random QOTD: which character in this fic do you relate to the most and why?  
> AOTD: um probably renjun - history lover, brain cell owner of the group... that being said, i project a lot of myself onto jaemin (see: this chapter) so i guess both?


	18. “ultimate superior gay”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [TW for descriptions of feelings of anxiety and implied panic attack in the past (scene beginning with ‘three hours ago’ up to ‘“so i take it...’)]
> 
> also lots of sex jokes and innuendos incoming! beware!!
> 
> happy birthday mark, we love you! i miss you being part of the dreamies so much...sorry this is late (better than never—sorry hyuck!)

**superior gay (7) -** 00:01

**full sun:** sometimes i get sad because i remember this is the last birthday that mark-hyung’s going to have with us for a while   
**full sun:** happy birthday hyung i love you so much 

**stock market:** thanks hyuckie, please don’t be sad we’ll still hang when i’m in uni

**moomin’s wife:** happy birthday hyung thanks for putting up with our bs every day

**bby jusing:** happy birthday hyung thank you for being my first friend at school

**stock market:** thanks guys you’re gonna make me cry

**jamie:** happy birthday hyung we love you!!

**girls’ jenoration:** happy birthday hyung <3

**figaro magnifico:** happy birthday hyung thanks for loving all of us we love you too

**stock market:** aww stop it y’all,, i’m crying

**full sun:** MARK MINHYUNG “FULLY CAPABLE” LEE,, CRYING¿

**stock market:** oh my gosh just because you have the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn’t mean everyone else does

**moomin’s wife:** mark-hyung is getting into harry potter i see

**bby jusing:** hyung is such a gryffindor facts only   
**bby jusing:** anyway i’m going to sleep now i’m driving tomorrow

**stock market:** sometimes i forget that jisung can drive like he’s still so, so small but ?? there he is, driving like a fully capable man?

\---

**_11 hours later, after persuading jaemin not to get another cup of jaemin juice, the boys hit the road once again, now embarking on a five hour journey to busan with jisung behind the wheel._ **

“our little baby’s a good driver,” chenle says, reaching forward to stroke jisung’s hair. 

jisung buckles up, adjusting the rear view mirror as he does. “the engine isn’t even on yet, though?” he sticks the key into the ignition, before pulling out of the parking space. 

“oh, and i’m not going to be the little baby anymore. not in my family, at least.”

mark, looking up from his phone, blinks a few times. “what do you mean, sungie?”

“have i not said? my dad’s...girlfriend, or wife… i’m not sure which...it’s my stepmum, but they’ve been together for a long time. anyway, she’s pregnant,” he explains, grinning until the corners of his eyes crease a little. 

everyone stays silent, processing the idea of jisung being an older brother.

“that’s great, jisung!” says jaemin finally. “when is she due?”

jisung drives onto the winding road. “um, late november? early december? they knew since march but there’s some kind of rule where you can’t tell people about it until three months in? they wanted to be safe so they went with six months which i don’t really understand… but yeah, i’m going to have a little sister!”

“babies confuse me,” hyuck admits. “like, do they know they have a whole life ahead of them?”

“i think about this so much,” lele says. “i held my baby cousin, and he was tiny, but how does life, you know, squish itself into a tiny little thing like that?”

“i mean, ten-hyung’s been alive for 23 years, and it all fit,” hyuckie jokes, which earns him mark’s pillow flying into his face.

jaemin’s quiet, until he exclaims, “exactly! when i was born, did i know i was going to be the ultimate superior gay? or…”

“that’s different, though. that’s determined by your dna. so, your dna might have the words ‘ultimate superior gay’ written all over it.”

“speaking of which,” jisung says, looking into the rear view mirror, “how was it? i mean, how was telling your parents that you’re the ultimate superior gay?”

jaemin grins. 

\---

**_three hours ago. everyone else was still snoozing after they had stayed up to wish mark a happy birthday. so jaemin wrote a note telling jeno that he had gone out for a walk, before slipping off to the bench he saw that day he went for a walk._ **

jaemin’s finger lingers just over his home phone number. he can’t stop shaking. it’s an odd feeling he’s got inside of him—sure, he gets headaches when he’s stressed, but never stomachaches. the thing is, is it really a stomachache, when it feels like there’s something really heavy dropping inside of him every time he breathes out? 

he feels like how he does whenever he wakes up from a bad dream. shaking and crying. gasping for air as he jolts out of his sleep. the thing is, whatever he feels then, this is much stronger.

and his face—his lips and cheeks feel numb, like they need more pressure. but at the same time, there’s too much pressure building up in his forehead, and he just wants to not feel the pulling sensation it creates at the top of his head. 

he can just imagine his worries staining the roots of his hair white, until it spills out to the tips, before they fall out like dried up leaves.

that thought gives him the chills. 

for a fleeting moment, jaemin wonders what it’d be like to not have to worry about his parents’ reactions to his coming out. and in that split second, he taps his mom’s contact. 

with every ring, jaemin swallows another shot of regret, for his hands shake and he can’t stop, and he just wants to hang up, and hey, that’s a good idea-

“hey, kiddo, what’s up?”

jaemin puts his happy voice on. “hi, dad! how are you?”

“pretty good. i went to the market today, and they’re having a sale. i managed to get a huge cucumber, and a pretty sizable eggplant too. and your mom told me to find the biggest bananas i cou-”

“okay, dad. i get it. i know you know.”

“know what?” 

jaemin hesitates for a moment, not really sure as to how he can continue. “i know that, um… you know that mom loves bananas!”

“ah, yeah! and i got peaches too! the juiciest peaches you could imagine.” his dad sounds so enthusiastic that jaem can’t really tell whether he’s genuinely having a great time at the fruit and vegetable market, or whether he’s trying to use innuendos to get onto the topic. 

“hmm, nah. peaches are tasty but i prefer bananas. especially the long ones.” if his dad is really making sex jokes about this, then so can he. 

“oh.”

“dad,” jaemin says finally after a long, awkward silence. “i have something to tell you.”

“you’re pregnant?”

that throws jaemin off for a second, but he remembers when he watched  _ love, simon _ with his dad and decides to continue the joke. “yeah. i know who the dad is. he’s good looking and he’s my boyfriend. oh, and surprise, we can’t make a baby. hey, i’m also not pregnant.”

“son, slow down. i have no idea what you’re telling me. are you pregnant or not?”

jaemin’s heart rate speeds up again, before he takes a deep breath to settle his nerves. “that was a joke, dad,” he says, before chuckling. “the real thing i have to tell you is that...that i’m, i’m gay and i have a boyfriend.”

“that’s cool, son.”

“you- you’re fine with it?”

“jaem, you’re my son. i love you no matter what decisions you make, including who you love.”

it’s only a sentence, but it brings jaem to tears as he feels one run down his cheek. 

“got it, dad. i love you.”

“i love you too. does mom know?”

“no. um, could you pass the phone to her?”

“sure.”

jaem prays that his dad will only pass the phone and nothing else, and when he hears ‘babe! jaem’s on the phone!’ he relaxes a little. 

“hi, jaem!”

“hey, mom. um, sorry for not calling back that night.” unlike with his dad, it’s not easy to bring it up to her without humor. 

he really wishes she’d drop a joke about him being pregnant, or laugh about bananas and eggplants and peaches. 

“it’s fine. you’re having fun on a trip! i’d be more concerned if you were calling me every minute.”

“mom,” jaemin begins, sighing, “can we talk about the instagram post? the one with jeno and me?”

“sure. what’s on your mind?”

“‘kay, so about, about the caption.”

neither one of them says anything. which makes jaemin want to cry and clutch onto jeno like how he did on that night. 

deciding that maybe he just needs to elaborate, he continues. “what i need to tell you is that i’m gay. and i have a boyfriend that i love like crazy.

“and...and from what you texted me, i gather that cheolsoo told you this. i’m really, really sorry that i’m gay. and that you found out about my boyfriend and me this way. and that i didn’t tell you sooner.”

at this point, tears run down his cheeks faster than he can wipe them away. 

“mom?”

and then he’s spiraling. spiraling into all the times that he was worrying about something he couldn’t control. spiraling into the waves of unstoppable worry. spiraling into the days when he begged his parents to reassure him. spiraling into the days when no one was around to comfort him, no one to hold his hand and tell him it’d all be okay.

“mom, please say something... anything. i’m scared. please.”

“oh, hon,” his mom says. “i’m not mad. i wasn’t mad either when i saw. i was just curious as to what was going on and why cheolsoo...this guy that i know is a dick to you...why he knew before we did.”

“cheolsoo showed you, right? the instagram post?”

“yes, he did. i guess i was just surprised when i saw, so i’m sorry i reacted in that way.”

feeling like an invisible hand is clasping onto his throat, he stumbles on the words he wants to say, but that detonates the bomb. everything that hadn’t already just explodes out of him.  

“mom...i’m sorry… i’m sorry about, about everything. like...like posting it for my friends first, and then cheolsoo inevitably finding out, and how i didn’t tell you first. and i’m sorry...sorry for being gay, and not the son you wan-“

“peaches, listen to me. when i first found out that i was pregnant, dad and i were so, so happy. but also so, so worried. you were our first child, and we had no experience raising kids. and we were pretty sure you’d be our last child, because, you know, it wasn’t easy having you in the first place. you were like our one and only shot.

“but after you were born, i could just feel—mother’s instincts—that you were everything we could ask for in our child. and in the last 16 years, i’ve never changed my mind, and i don’t think i will.”

“so, you’re saying tha-“

“what i’m saying is that i love you, jaem, because you being gay is only part of who you are, and it’s not a reason to love you any less. mommy loves you, and mommy will always love you. got it, jaem?”

okay, so maybe he’s a bit of a momma’s boy. 

but now he’s doing the opposite of spiraling. like jumping out of an aggressive wave pool. it’s a better feeling now—he’s back to the days when his mom would find him curled up in the corner of the kitchen, placing a kiss on his forehead and holding his hands until his labored breathing slowed and his tears no longer flowed. it’s a feeling of relief, one that feels like he’s crawled out of a thick blanket on a summer night. 

but still, he cries, and he can’t stop. 

“peaches, why are you crying? what’s making you sad?”

in between his hiccups and sobs, he manages to explain. “i...i’m not s-sad. i’m, i’m happy, mom. happy that you and dad still love me.”

“of course we love you, jaem. we will always love you. you’re our one and only, and we will always support you. okay? don’t cry now. what time are you guys going to busan?”

“11. so...so i have three hours until, until we leave.

“how long is the drive? who’s driving?”

“it’s, like, five hours long, but jisung’s driving since he knows the way.”

“right, since his mom is in busan. wow, that’s a long journey. he’s very young...he’s still in the ninth grade, no?”

“yeah. he is our baby, but he asked his dad and his dad was busy dealing with something. his mom’s cool about it; she’s in busan but she’ll be out with her friends for the week that we’re there.”

jaemin’s mom pauses for a moment. “are jisung’s parents...um,” she says, dropping her voice to a whisper, “divorced?”

“yeah.”

“poor jisung. it must be tough on him.”

“yeah, well, he said it’s better now because he knows they’re happier when they’re not arguing.”

“that’s good. say thank you to jisung for letting you guys stay over at his mom’s place, and be good when you’re there. try to pick up a box of chocolates when you get to busan and give it to her as a gift.”

“got it. we’re trying to keep sungie distracted so that we can secretly get a gift for his mom.”

“good job. i love you, jaemin. don’t cry, okay? and have a good trip.”

“thanks, mom. i will. oh, and…”

“what’s up?”

“thank you for loving me, mom. i love you too.”

\---

“so i take it went well, then?” jisung asks, overtaking the car in front of him. “wish this guy wouldn’t drive 20 kilometers an hour in the express lane.”

“i mean, they still love me just the same and they’re okay with it, so yeah. coming out? success. me? ultimate superior gay. hotel? trivago.” jaemin smiles and puts his arm around jeno, playing with the back of his boyfriend’s hair, before hearing several honks from the car behind. 

“oh look, the guy’s flipping us off. hey, you!” jaemin calls, even though he knows the driver can’t hear him. “stop flipping jisung off; he’s five years old and he’s driving long distance for the first time!”

“yeah, he’s a child prodigy!” hyuck adds. “driving at the age of minus three, and setting an F1 record at a whopping zero years old!”

“now, now, let’s not overlook some of jisung’s real accomplishments, like solving a rubik’s cube just by looking at it,” renjun says, poking jisung’s cheek. 

jisung giggles, blushing. “hyung,” he whines, but he’s very eager to change the subject and get the attention off him. “hey, there’s a good tapas restaurant about ten minutes away. my fam and i would go here every time we went back and forth between seoul and busan. is anyone hungry?” 

with unanimous cheers, jisung takes a turn at the next exit, driving down the road to go to the tapas restaurant. 

when they enter the restaurant, jisung tries to (but doesn’t expect to) find the owner. he knows that in a crowded restaurant, it’s highly unlikely he-

“jisung! you’ve grown so much!”

jisung breaks out into a grin. “hello, auntie!”

“oh my, your voice has changed so much. you’re so tall now… still dancing? anyway, what are you doing here? the last time i saw you was ages ago, before...”

laughing awkwardly, sungie explains, “well, i’m with my friends, and we’re on our way to busan. and yeah, i’m still dancing. we’re on a road trip but i thought we could stop by for some lunch.”

“you’ve hit peak hours, but we have a table of five upstairs and we can pull two chairs over. is that alright?”

“yeah. thank you, auntie!”

once the kids sit down, jaemin’s face lights up. “my mom always knew…”

“always knew what, babe?” jeno asks. 

“that i’m gay. her nickname for me is ‘peaches.’ just like how i’m your peach. i’m the peach to your eggpl-”

jeno hastily clamps his hand to jaemin’s mouth. “we have minors here,” he says, looking at chenle and jisung. 

working out the rest of jaem’s sentence, jisung puts his head in an imaginary bucket and pretends to stick his fingers down his throat. 

“that’s unhygienic, jisung,” mark says, pulling out his hand sanitizer. “i know you eat candy off the floor because chenle doesn’t stop you, but please. wash your hands.”

after the sanitizer gets back to mark, jisung flicks through the menu. 

“what do you recommend, sungie?” hyuck asks. 

“well, usually, my brother, mom, aunt, uncle, grandparents and cousin come here to eat when they’re taking us back to seoul. that’s seven of us, so that fits perfectly. we usually get a salad, chicken tenders, hummus, eggplants—stop laughing, hyung—and a bucket of truffle fries. that’s usually more than enough and we get extras; enough to bring back to the car. do you want to order that?”

“yeah, that sounds good.”

after ordering, jaemin’s phone starts vibrating. “cheolsoo’s calling,” he says. 

“without telling you in advance? no courtesy,” renjun remarks disdainfully. 

jaemin laughs, but it’s a tired kind of laugh. “i’ll be right back, guys. eat first and i’ll catch up later.”

\---

when jaemin comes back, about three minutes later, the boys lean in to ask about the call.

“well, we called each other assholes, and then i asked him why he did what he did. i was like, ‘you took the chance for me to come out to my parents away from me. they heard about me being gay from you, not from me. you’re a little bitch, kim cheolsoo,’ so he hung up. well? what do you think, debate master?”

all eyes go to renjun, who ponders this for a moment. “first thing, i’m not a debate master. second, i like how you asserted the facts in a strong, impactful way, but if you ever need to do this again, maybe refrain from calling him a ‘little bitch’ because ‘little’ undermines the argument, and also, you call us all your bitches as a term of endearment.”

“cool, thanks, ren. but do i actually call you guys bitches? i don’t ever remember doing that.”

mark snorts. “yeah, right. yesterday, i passed you a fishcake and you were like, ‘thanks, bitch.’”

“that was one time, hyung.”

“no, you do it so much, babe,” jeno interjects, pulling the longer parts of his boyfriend’s hair into a top knot. “the day before we left, you came into my side of the room, and you were like, ‘hey, bitch,’ before you ended up on my lap and we were kissing-”

jisung puts his head back in the imaginary bucket, and this time, mark doesn’t stop him—rather, he’s tempted to join sungie. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> quick update: school starts on the 13th and my exam results come out on the same day; i’m a nervous wreck for both (help me). so, it’s going to be pretty chaotic this next week. it’s pretty unlikely i’ll get jaemin’s birthday chapter out this week, but sit tight—it’ll be out eventually :) thank you for understanding!


	19. moomin’s wife: hyuck you limp string bean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy (late) birthday jaemin!! i love this boy sm <3
> 
> this chapter was (surprise, surprise) a mess but i was half writing this half watching shrek with my mum. i guess that justifies it??? hehe tbh at this point this has become a crackfic
> 
> anyway, i did well on my exam! i did better than i thought i would so i'm really happy about that:)
> 
> enjoy this chapter :)

**superior gay (7)** \- 00:02

 **moomin’s wife:** happy birthday to nana my friend since kindergarten i love you and thanks for not having lunch so that we would end up as friends ily

 **girls’ jenoration:** omg the og squad  
**girls’ jenoration:** bby renjun was so cute anyone want photos

**_moomin’s wife (_huangrenjun) removed girls’ jenoration (jeno.423)._ **

**stock market:** ren,,

**_moomin’s wife (_huangrenjun) added girls’ jenoration (jeno.423)._ **

**stock market:** anyway happy birthday nana sweet boi thanks for being a great friend

 **full sun:** happy birthday jaem!! ilysm you’re so kind to everyone uwu and you’re such a good friend

 **figaro magnifico:** happy birthday hyung i love you <3

 **bby jusing:** happy birthday jaem-hyung ily thanks for making me feel better when i’m sad :D

 **girls’ jenoration:** nana says thank you so much he loves you too  
**girls’ jenoration:** anyway y’all we should sleep now our exam results come out tomorrow 

\---

 **superior gay (7)** \- 11:32

 **girls’ jenoration:** c’mon nana, the exam results don’t come out until 1  
**girls’ jenoration:** no point in moping around all day, not on your birthday

 **jamie:** but what if i fail

 **full sun:** omg jaem shut up you’re not going to fail

 **stock market:** you can’t tell him to shut up, not on his birthday  
**stock market:** nana this exam doesn’t matter. junior year doesn’t really matter  
**stock market:** besides, what’s done is done and you can’t change it by staying at home and not enjoying your birthday

 **jamie:** ifkasjdfklsdklfjskllk

 **moomin’s wife:** jaem you’ll do just fine dw

 **jamie:** but what if i don’t

 **stock market:** it’s still fine because like i said, fucking up in junior year isn’t going to kill you

 **moomin’s wife:** off topic, but why are we texting when we’re all in the same room

 **figaro magnifico:** jeno-hyung is somewhere else 

 **stock market:** he’s in the bathroom

 **bby jusing:** why you texting in the bathroom hyung  
**bby jusing:** that’s unhygienic

 **stock market:** i raised you really well,,,

 **jamie:** how are all of you so relaxed wtf

 **full sun:** i lost the will to care about school half an hour ago

 **moomin’s wife:** i engage in my hobbies

 **jamie:** cool, like what? i want to dance but i can’t stop thinking about the results 

 **moomin’s wife:** oh i just close my eyes and repress my emotions

 **stock market:** jaemin, open your eyes **  
** **stock market:** ren, that’s not healthy, go and start a journal or something

 **moomin’s wife:** i don’t think jaem can see your messages, hyung

\---

“nana, open your eyes,” mark calls from the living room.

\---

 **girls’ jenoration:** did i just hear mark-hyung tell jaem to open his eyes irl

 **jamie:** yes, yes you did

 **girls’ jenoration:** okay good nana’s online  
**girls’ jenoration:** babe, get dressed

 **jamie:** why

 **girls’ jenoration:** we’re going to the beach. busan has nice beaches

 **jamie:** okay

**_jamie went offline._ **

**girls’ jenoration:** that took surprisingly less effort than expected  
**girls’ jenoration:** now if you excuse me, i need to shower

**_girls’ jenoration went offline._ **

**bby jusing:** do they know it’s raining outside??  
**bby jusing:** should i point it out to them that it’s raining outside???

\---

 **superior gay (7)** \- 12:07

 **moomin’s wife:** i take it that jaem is not walking around busan with his eyes closed?

 **jamie:** nope  
**jamie:** we’re having a good time

 **girls’ jenoration:** we are:) we’re having lunch  
**girls’ jenoration:** https://www.instagram.com/p/B0_IsPwhgHM/?igshid=gjx0yacay2zf

 **full sun:** look at the shark in the background  
**full sun:** i can literally hear him saying “fish are friends not food”

 **jamie:** lmaooo same though  
**jamie:** anyway sorry about earlier when i was whining about the exam results :/  
**jamie:** and sorry for not saying thank you for the birthday wishes so  
**jamie:** thank you for the birthday wishes (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ i love you all

 **girls’ jenoration:** uwu

 **stock market:** literally you call that whining nana have you not tried being hyuckie’s roommate  
**stock market:** i love the boy so much but for someone named full sun he’s the biggest pessimist

 **full sun:** hey okay i’m entitled to whine about having to carry a rather shit team in overwatch when i was lucio

 **stock market:** which one’s lucio again

 **full sun:** mark lee are you my boyfriend or not

 **stock market:** ily hyuckie

 **full sun:** he’s the one with muscles  
**full sun:** the one you thought was wearing inflatable jeans and roller skates

 **jamie:** OH NO  
**jamie:** okay bye bitches jen and i have important matters to deal with including educating mork and teaching him the basics of overwatch

 **full sun:** what’s important is that his main job is to heal his teammates  
**full sun:** _he’s not supposed to have to charge to the center smh_

 **stock market:** look at my adorable bf geeking out like this

 **moomin’s wife:** is the barbecue place any good, hyung?

 **stock market:** yeah, it’s p good! we should all go one night  
**stock market:** hey jeno

 **jamie:** yeah?

 **stock market:** hon, that isn’t your name

 **jamie:** yeah it is  
**jamie:** wait no it isn’t sorry

 **girls’ jenoration:** yeah what’s up hyung

 **stock market:** do you have an extra power cord hyuck broke his

 **girls’ jenoration:** yeah but i think jisung has it rn

 **bby jusing:** yeah i do, do you need it? 

 **stock market:** nah it’s ok but can we borrow it later? 

 **bby jusing:** sure if jeno-hyung’s okay with it

 **girls’ jenoration:** yeah ofc it’s fine

 **stock market:** thank you!

 **bby jusing:** anyway guys what do you say to going to the amusement park tomorrow? :D

 **full sun:** omg yes please  
**full sun:** and we can torture mark-hyung by going on the fast rides

 **stock market:** i can’t go on fast rides  
**stock market:** my eyes might fall out

 **bby jusing:** i’m sorry what

 **moomin’s wife:** where did you learn this from??

 **stock market:** long story short my eyes aren’t spherical they’re kind of like an american football, or an egg  
**stock market:** my eyes are eggs

 **figaro magnifico:** yum can i eat your eyes  
**figaro magnifico:** I’M SORRY HYUNG IT SOUNDED MUCH BETTER IN MY HEAD

 **jamie:** hol’ up everyone stop for a sec think about it hyung can’t go on rides because his eyes might shoot out of his head  
**jamie:** that’s terrifying :)

 **stock market:** nana…? should i,, be scared,,, of the smiley,,,,

 **jamie:** OH NO I’M SO SORRY I MEANT :(

 **stock market:** still moderately-to-very scared, nana, but i’ll take your word for it

 **bby jusing:** hey lele  
**bby jusing:** wanna ride the ferris wheel together?

 **figaro magnifico:** sure!!

 **full sun:** what is happening

 

 **gijnus and ceehln (5)** \- 12:23

 **moomin’s wife:** this chat has been dead forever but i’m bringing it back because we need to get them together

 **jamie:** umm i think jisung’s done 90 percent of the hard work tbh he just needs to be tall enough to get on the ferris wheel 

 **moomin’s wife:** that’s hardly a concern he’s caught up to you and jen

 **jamie:** nah he’s surpassed us he's grown an inch taller in the past month or something like that  
**jamie:** he’s been growing loads since march and he hasn’t stopped since then

 **stock market:** oml  
**stock market:** i think all this growing hurts him though like if you think about it he’s literally expanding in length overnight  
**stock market:** i guess that’s why he keeps asking lele for massages at night

 **full sun:** YOU KEPT THAT QUIET MORK

 **girls’ jenoration:** wait what???

 **jamie:** DJLSFSJAKLFLKSADJFKL

 **moomin’s wife:** omg omg what the actual fork what

 **full sun:** why are you swearing as if you’re on the good place

 **moomin’s wife:** lmaoo  
**moomin’s wife:** go on, hyung

 **stock market:** i can hear them through the walls chenle’s a dolphin  
**stock market:** and jisung’s like a whiny baby  
**stock market:** a huge, whiny baby 

 **jamie:** oh my gosh that’s so cute 

 **girls’ jenoration:** ikr i’d put them on a boat together

 **full sun:**???

 **jamie:** babe do you mean ship?

 **girls’ jenoration:** yeah, that! 

 **jamie:** uwu  
**jamie:** ooh they’re doing haircuts for 5000 won shall i get one  
**jamie:** my mom keeps nagging me to get one

 **girls’ jenoration:** no bub you look great with your hair like this it’s adorable

 **jamie:** aww thanks <3

 **full sun:** they’re so cute

 **moomin’s wife:** i can’t decide to uwu or to throw up

 **jamie:** i threw up once

 **full sun:** more than that, nana

 **jamie:** :(  
**jamie:** i want a milkshake but _someone_ said no so i will just leave to cry now

\---

ruffling jaem’s hair, jeno presses his lips to his boyfriend’s cheek. “you’ll be in pain if you drink it, bub.”

\---

 **superior gay (7)** \- 12:48

 **jamie:** results are out in 12 minutes, bitches and guess who’s gonna die is it me is it me of course it’s me  
**jamie:** r.i.p. lee jaemin 2000-2019 ultimate superior gay may he rest in peace

 **stock market:** that isn’t-  
**stock market:** that’s not your name, nana

 **full sun:** were you thinking of marrying me aww thanks jaem sorry but i’m taken 

 **bby jusing:** kasfjdljfskafkljks

 **stock market:** babe he’s not thinking of you  
**stock market:** he’s thinking of me  
**stock market:** (jkjk)

 **full sun:** wait but seriously though who is nana actually thinking of

 **moomin’s wife:** hyuck you limp string bean

 **girls’ jenoration:** ...me  
**girls’ jenoration:** LEE jeno, his boyfriend  
**girls’ jenoration:** hyuck you’re one of my best friends but i am so very judging you right now

 **full sun:** oH RIGHT

 **girls’ jenoration:** hol’ up jaem was thinking about marrying me

 **jamie:** moving on!  
**jamie:** i just realised that if hyuck and mark-hyung got married then they wouldn’t have to change their names

 **full sun:** or we could hyphenate it but then we would be lee-lee and what if we were like cam and mitch on modern fam and adopted a daughter named lily 

 **stock market:** my gosh she’d never hear the end of it can you imagine all the racist jokes that would come out of it  
**stock market:** trust me i know kids can be cruel like my cousins give me shit for being in a boarding school in korea and they make racist jokes all the time smh  

 **full sun:** oh shit you right but what would we do instead of hyphenating our names??

 **stock market:** we could, you know, not hyphenate our names

 **jamie:** TWO MINUTES GUYS I’M SHAKING 

 **girls’ jenoration:** dksjafljdklff same nana let’s find somewhere to sit down

 **moomin’s wife:** i thought i’d be less worried than this...my hands are vibrating??

 **figaro magnifico:** good luck hyungs!! 

 **stock market:** you guys will be fine, good luck and no matter what happens it’s okay

 **bby jusing:** y’all dw you got this you’re going to do great shit one day

 **full sun:** wise words with park jisung

 **jamie:** ONE MINUTE ohm y goshh

\---

jaemin puts his phone down. his palms are sweaty, knees weak-

“arms are heavy. there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti,” jeno says.

“hmm?”

“oh, sorry—you were narrating your thoughts out loud, hon.”

cheeks turning red, jaemin opens his mouth to say something—what, he doesn’t remember, because he checks his phone and on his phone are four illuminated numbers.

_13:00_

“it’s one o’clock, babe,” jaem whispers, his voice having gone weak. 

jeno glances over at nana’s phone, before turning his own on as well. “right. okay. good luck, nana,” he breathes out, he too having lost his voice. not able to say much more, he simply squeezes jaemin’s hand and doesn’t let go.

once jaem logs in (has the connection slowed down suddenly?) and presses the tab labelled ‘my results’ with a shaking thumb, he holds his breath as the screen loads, the progress bar at the top practically dragging itself painfully across the screen.

jeno gasps a little. his cheekbones shift upwards slightly, but it’s concealed with a tinge of concern as he turns to look at his boyfriend. “you okay, nana?” 

“it’s not loaded yet,” he quavers. “what about you?”

“i did well,” he says. “really well. you got this, jaem.”

“thanks, babe. oh, it...it’s loaded.”

underneath the column called ‘grade rewarded’ is a tiny, black and bold ‘A+’ staring at him. 

clasping his hand to his mouth, jaem looks up, and jeno notices the corners of his lips peeking out from his fingers. “i did it. i did it, babe.” 

“did what?”

“i- i got an A+,” he chokes out, and when he says it out loud, it solidifies it for him; that this is fate, and that’s a fact. 

a single tear rolls down his cheek, before he smiles.

“or as jisung says, i did great shit.”

jeno laughs so hard that tears come out the side of his eyes, too.

his voice tender and his touch gentle, he strokes jaemin's neck, saying, "happy birthday, bub. i love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> markhyuck made me laugh really hard this chapter and i'll write more of them next chapter!! look forward to that~
> 
> i have constant and painful pins-and-needles in my toes and leg :”)
> 
> oh! and since we're nearly at 400 likes...if we get to 400 by, let's say, tuesday, i'll publish a nomin coffee shop au that i've been wanting to write lately:) 
> 
> or maybe a dance cover to boom NO NO NO I'M KIDDING...unless...
> 
> i'll think about it ;)
> 
> ily all <3
> 
> edit: y’all we got to 400 overnight...i love you all, thank you...time to start writing:)
> 
> second edit: i added an image because i’m an effing idiot that forgot to put it in in the first place haha


	20. full sun: ...ssssssssomebody once told me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> potential TW for mentions of family issues namely divorce and fam arguments (the line after the one beginning with "moomin's wife: BUT ALSO LISTEN, BOTH JAEMIN AND JISUNG...")
> 
> i wasn't sure whether i should tw that, but i feel that stuff like divorce can hit close to home for people so let me know if i shouldn't tw it? 
> 
> to quote mark in this chapter, i love you guys so much you matter and you’re important to me, you’re loved by me and you guys can always hit up the comments or dms with whatever you want to talk about <3
> 
> enjoy this chapter, i hope it makes you laugh and smile :)

**superior gay (7)** \- 19:02

**jamie:** exactly 21 people in front of us in line

**stock market:** 18 for us but i think your line is moving faster

**bby jusing:** let’s play word pictionary

**jamie:** okay explain how

**bby jusing:** i’ll dm you and mark-hyung a word and you have to make someone in your line work it out 

 

**new chat: bby jusing, jamie, stock market (3)** \- 19:03

**bby jusing:** first word: sagittarius 

**stock market:** as in the star sign?

**bby jusing:** yuh

 

**superior gay (7)** \- 19:03

**stock market:** okay here we go   
**stock market:** i choose hyuckie

**jamie:** i choose jeno 

**stock market:** okay, hyuck what’s chenle’s star sign

**full sun:** pisces

**figaro magnifico:** oml am i allowed to interfere

**bby jusing:** i’ll allow a scream for two seconds

**jamie:**   
**jamie:** we heard that   
**jamie:** babe you know right?

**girls’ jenoration:** scorpio??

**bby jusing:** close

**stock market:** c’mon hyuck, you know this. ssssss...

**full sun:** ...ssssssssomebody once told me

**jamie:** the world was gonna roll me

**figaro magnifico:** i have a really huge forehead

**jamie:** wrong lyric, lele

**figaro magnifico:** wait what

**bby jusing:** hang on i need to pee

**figaro magnifico:** no, you come back here jisung pwark 

**bby jusing:**...happy april fools day?

**figaro magnifico:** it’s july i can't believe you taught me the wrong lyrics to allstar   
**figaro magnifico:** you're lucky I love you the way i do, salt

**bby jusing:** this is how I show affection, eggs

**moomin's wife:** is no one going to tell lele that it's august

**jamie:** why is no one questioning the fact that they're calling each other cooking ingredients as pet names

**full sun:** it’s a chensung thing

**bby jusing:** wow y’alls got a ship name going for us already

**girls’ jenoration:** nana   
**girls’ jenoration:** your position as ultimate superior gay   
**girls’ jenoration:** it’s under attack

**jamie:** well fuck me over

**girls’ jenoration:** with pleasure

**jamie:** JEN  
**jamie:** _we have tiny kids here lele and jisung don’t know about this and as much as i’d like to say yes i also really really cannot as an altar boy engage in pre-maritial relations else i’ll go to hell_

**girls’ jenoration:** i respect that

**stock market:** nana, you’re gay and wearing shirts made of mixed materials   
**stock market:** we’re all gay and wearing shirts of mixed materials ofc we’re all going to hell, amen

**figaro magnifico:** stop saying h-e-double-hockey-sticks, hyung   
**figaro magnifico:** it’s not big and it’s not cool

**stock market:** wholesome boi we stan

**figaro magnifico:** thank you   
**figaro magnifico:** i’ve decided to stop swearing because it makes me look like a fucking idiot   
**figaro magnifico:** wait   
**figaro magnifico:** now i really look like a dumbass   
**figaro magnifico:** y’know what i give up i’m just going to leave

**bby jusing:** lele no don’t leave please no   
**bby jusing:** please lele think about the kids,, growing up without one of their dads

**stock market:** definitely can’t relate

**moomin’s wife:** hmm that hundo percent does not apply to me

**jamie:** idk if i’m allowed to say ‘same’ if my dad is overseas 90% of the time?

**moomin’s wife:** you are   
**moomin’s wife:** my grandma was my mom, my dad, my grandma and my cousins   
**moomin’s wife:** all 112 of them

**figaro magnifico:** jisung...i’m sorry...and i still love you…   
**figaro magnifico:** it’s not you, it’s me

**bby jusing:** i love you too, lele   
**bby jusing:** but fr though i love you, and not in the little life i’ve dreamt of us together with our tiny kids   
**bby jusing:** OH FUCK   
**bby jusing:** sorry gotta go pee, and for real this time

**jamie:** wait

**girls’ jenoration:** something’s wrong

**full sun:** hell has frozen over

**moomin’s wife:** jisung…? care to come back and explain?

**stock market:** i’m gonna be completely honest here, this is the first time i’ve ever seen jisung say the words ‘i love you’, not in reference to dance or going on a quad bike

**jamie:** wait you’re right

**girls’ jenoration:** same

**full sun:** yeah same

**moomin’s wife:** i’ve heard him say it before

**stock market:** wow way to kill the moment junnie but elaborate when did he say that

**moomin’s wife:** can i tell him @jisung

**bby jusing:** you know what, go ahead, i’ve basically exposed myself anyway   
**bby jusing:** just a heads up though, i drank jaemin juice on that morning 

**moomin’s wife:** at 7:42am last sunday, jisung told me that he loves me (in a platonic way ofc)

**stock market:** AND YOU DIDN’T TELL US ABOUT JISUNG’S LITTLE MOMENT OF AFFECTION 

**moomin’s wife:** NO BECAUSE YOUR ASS GOT LOST ON A STRAIGHT HIGHWAY   
**moomin’s wife:** also because i respect jisung’s privacy

**stock market:** I’M NOT STRAIGHT HOW DO YOU THINK I CAN MANAGE ON A STRAIGHT HIGHWAY   
**stock market:** but also thank you for not exposing jisung

**bby jusing:** thank you hyung

**moomin’s wife:** np kiddos   
**moomin’s wife:** BUT ALSO LISTEN. BOTH JAEMIN AND JISUNG CAN DRIVE BETTER THAN YOU AND IDK ABOUT JISUNG BUT JAEMIN IS FAR FROM STRAIGHT

**jamie:** mom and dad are arguing,, please don’t drag our asses into this

**bby jusing:** MUM AND DAD ARE ARGUING YET ANOTHER FAMILY RELATIONSHIP THAT I’VE WITNESSED THE BREAKDOWN OF 

**jamie:** jisung, hon, serious question, yeah?   
**jamie:** is it getting bad at home again?

**bby jusing:** nah i’m just angsty thanks though hyung

**jamie:** okay good love you child

**full sun:** @nana aren’t you and jeno the mom and dad of the group 

**jamie:** oh right   
**jamie:** GRANDMA AND GRANDMA  ARE ARGUING BUT OUR FAMILY RELATIONSHIP IS WEIRD SO THE KIDS AND GRANDCHILDREN ARE INVOLVED

**stock market:** kiddos i get the sense that some   
**stock market:** uh   
**stock market:** real life issues are being brought up but just so y’all know i love you guys so much you matter you’re important you’re loved and you guys can always come to your grandpa (aka yours truly)

**bby jusing:** thanks hyung <3

**stock market:** np   
**stock market:** oh and let’s get this straight for once and for all, hyuck is the grandma and renjun is the uncle. nana is the mom and jeno is the dad

**moomin’s wife:** my grandma was my uncle as well so forgive me if i get some facts wrong

**full sun:** why are jeno and lele so quiet all of a sudden

**girls’ jenoration:** chenle read jisung’s messages and passed out i’m trying to hold him 

**full sun:** ohh

**jamie:** he’s not the only one, jisung himself looks kinda pale as well

**bby jusing:** haha sorry it just took a lot of guts idk why i said what i said but the truth has to come out some time soon, right? and i guess my subconscious wanted him to know

**jamie:** no worries, we’re proud of you, sungie

**bby jusing:** hehe thanks hyung   
**bby jusing:** anyway the ferris wheel sells its last tickets at nine, you think he’ll come around before then? 

**girls’ jenoration:** lowkey concerning if he didn’t

**stock market:** lowkey   
**stock market:** imagine jeno being your doctor 

**girls’ jenoration:** idk he might just be sleeping and/or faking dead so that he won’t have to face reality

**bby jusing:** only one way to tell

**girls’ jenoration:** oH MY GOD JISUNG YOU DIDN’T JUST   
**girls’ jenoration:** NANA BUB TELL ME I’M NOT SEEING THINGS

**full sun:** WHAT WHAT HAPPENED

**jamie:** HE DID IT

**moomin’s wife:** HE DID WHAT

**jamie:** HE REALLY WENT THERE

**stock market:** HON WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU GUYS ARE SEEING

**bby jusing:** hyungs we got a table let’s go in!

**jamie:** i’ve been stripped of my title of ultimate superior gay???

**full sun:** OMG WHAT HAPPENED GUYS TELL US

**_jamie changed bby jusing’s name to ‘prince charming.’_ **

**_jamie changed figaro magnifico’s name to ‘snow white.’_ **

**jamie:** i think this will tell you guys enough

**snow white:** i just woke up, my face is all red and why is my name another word for cocaine???

\---

**_after dinner. jeno, renjun and jaemin go to the ring toss to try and win yet another stuffed toy for nana. hyuck and mark go buy some deep fried oreos, and chenle and jisung go to the ferris wheel. there’s a long line, for everyone has the same idea in mind—it’s a night where the stars shine bright, not a single cloud in sight. that’s probably a plagiarised line because it’s so cheesy and uncannily works with the whole rhyme- you know what, just cut to the story._ **

“think we’ll get to the front in time?” jisung asks, sipping on his milkshake. “i really want to ride this with you.”

“probably. it’s, what, half past eight? we can make it. hey, can i have some of that?” 

jisung hands him his reusable mug, coupled with a metal straw.

“i’ve never seen _anyone_ use a mug for a milkshake.”

“save the turtles, you know? too bad my hydroflask is back at my mum’s house, and my hair isn’t long enough for me to have any need for a scrunchie.”

“you vsco boy,” chenle jokes, ruffling jisung’s hair. 

the two continue on like this, joking around and passing the time so quickly that by the time they get to the front of the queue, neither of them notice that it’s getting late.

the ticket officer checks his watch and shows chenle and jisung the time. “sorry, kids. it’s 9:01.”

the words ring in jisung’s ears, over and over again. the clear night suddenly clouds his mind with disappointment. “please?” he begs, his voice so quiet in an attempt to not show how much he longs to look over the beautiful view of busan, to show chenle his hometown, to share a moment with chenle. 

but also, just one quiet moment to tell chenle something very important. 

as if he can read jisung’s mind and know why he’s so upset about not being able to go on the ferris wheel, he says, “it’s okay, jisung. it’s fine.”

the officer, showing no sign of hearing jisung or chenle (because he didn’t), sees how disappointed sungie looks. “sorry. hey, we’re open tomorrow morning at eight.”

jisung nods, and the two of them go to sit on a nearby bench.

“hey, i know...i know you’re disappointed that we can’t go on the ferris wheel,” chenle says. 

jisung looks up. “i wanted to ride it with you. i wanted to tell you something when we were up there.”

“you could, you know, tell me now.”

this isn’t something jisung thought would happen. he had planned to go on the ferris wheel, look at the skyline and go back to that day; the one when he was little and riding it with his mum. just for that sense of calm, to brace himself for what he would say next. 

not on a bench with his two feet on the ground, the loud of the park so distracting, swarming his head like bees that think it’s a good idea to confess everything to chenle now.

“chenle, i really, really like you. i don’t know if it’s puppy love or a phase or whatever, but i really like you. and with, you know, my parents’ divorce, i guess i was kind of scared to fall in love, but...as cheesy as it sounds, i love you and i don’t want fear to stop me...”

well, lele clearly doesn’t expect that. he thinks for a bit, before speaking:

“thanks for telling me that, jisung. okay. a few things. whatever you choose to identify as right now, you’re valid, and it’s okay if your label changes because after all, we’re still kids, right?”

jisung nods, beginning to chug his milkshake out of nerves.

“also, i like you a lot, too, sungie. i love you. and, um...sorry i passed out earlier. it was just so...unexpected, you know what i mean?”

“yeah. gotcha. sorry if i freaked you out.”

“nah, it’s fine. don’t worry about it.” after he finishes, he half-predicts jisung to add something else, which he does, but not what he thought.

“i know it’s probably not going to be the biggest thing in a relationship at the moment, but jeno-hyung and nana-hyung keep making jokes about it. and i don’t know if i’m too young to know, but…”

chenle clears his throat. “like i said, sungie, the labels you use right now can easily change. and it’s perfectly okay not to use labels, either.”

jisung ponders on this for a moment. “hmm, maybe you’re right, lele. but...you know what i mean by ‘it’, right?”

“‘it?’”

“you know, what jen-hyung and jaemin-hyung joked about earlier. the unspeakable thing that we weren’t supposed to hear about. you know, sex.”

“oh, that. yeah. what about it?”

jisung laughs, but it’s an awkward kind of laugh, one that suggests that at this point, he really thought chenle would work it out. “i don’t...i don’t think i’m into it. i don’t know what it is. it just seems kind of repulsive to me? of course, if we start dating and you, um, want to…”

“jisung, it’s perfectly fine. you don’t need to explain this to me. and you don’t have to do something if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“it’s not a problem, right? i know i’m a little young to try and figure this out.”

“you have plenty of time to work things out, sungie,” chenle explains, taking jisung’s hand into his own. “of course it isn’t a problem.” 

“y-you sure?”

“hundred percent sure. not now, not ever.”

jisung breaks out into smiles that crinkle his eyes up into little arcs, kind of like jeno when he smiles. “thank you, lele. this is...i can’t believe it. all the things i read online; everyone was talking about how people doubted their identity, or called them prudes, or straight up broke up with them. of course, that last one can’t happen because we technically haven’t dated, am i right?”

“yeah, but kids nowadays? we’re all awake.” chenle puts his arm around jisung, who, finding it surprisingly comfortable, leans into him despite being so much taller.

“do you mean ‘woke’?” 

“yes, but that’s grammatically incorrect.”

jisung chuckles. “i see renjun-hyung’s been rubbing off on you. not like that, but you know what i mean.”

“yeah, and also brooklyn 97.”

an almost inhumane cackle shoots out of jisung’s mouth. “it’s brooklyn 99, you dork. anyway, thanks for accepting me, lele.”

“no worries. you’re my best friend.”

“you’re mine as well.

“want to go on a date?” 

it’s so sudden that even chenle doesn’t know what he’s saying until it’s come tripping out of him. but also a relief for him, because if he never says it, they’ll never get anywhere.

jisung’s visibly taken aback as well, but an even wider, goofier (and cuter, chenle thinks to himself) smile unfold on his face. and i say unfold, for it’s like part of him relaxes. 

“sure, lele. i love you.”

“i love you too,” chenle responds, before holding his hand out. “can i have some more milkshake?”

jisung gives it to him.

“god, it’s sweet.”

amid the loudness of the amusement park, jisung mishears chenle to have said, “god, we’re sweet.” 

so he replies with, “i know we are. i ship us. we’re my OTP.”

chenle wants to correct jisung, to remind him that he’s talking about the milkshake. but as it’s on the tip of his tongue, he can picture renjun and jaemin making certain gestures alluding to a certain death involving himself and a butcher knife. 

instead, he says, “me too, jisung. me too. now let’s go find the hyungs,” before allowing jisung’s hand to envelope his own as they walk over to the food stall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you didn't notice the newest addition to the tags or pick up on it...what jisung's getting at is that he's asexual. not many characters i read about are ace, and there's plenty of acephobia/ace erasure out there so i feel this is something worth talking about!
> 
> 20 chapters y'all, thank you sm!!
> 
> i think i'm coming down with a cold which means that i will undoubtedly have even more crippling back pain than i do on a daily basis because muscle soreness blah blah blah and you can definitely predict that i will write this into the dreamies' characters (pronounced: jaemin), as i do with anything and everything i feel in my life :')
> 
> come talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jaemhugs)! jazz up ya girl's life a little 
> 
> ily all so much <3


	21. girls’ jenoration: apparently it's an inside joke but we're not sure who it's with

**superior gay (7)** \- 07:23

 **moomin’s wife:** the music choice at the swimming galas are 

 **stock market:** horrible

 **snow white:** i remember listening to watch me whip in the seventh grade and we danced to it at the camp disco. that was fun but now i want to stick my fingers down my throat

 **full sun:** they should really ask us to contribute songs. honestly i’ve said this time and time again, and i’ll never stop 

 **snow white:** i’d like everyone to know that i’m waiting in the foyer with nana hyung and sungie and they are making a tiktok

 **moomin’s wife:** tell them they’re not my friends anymore

 **jamie:** bye bitch you can do my events for me xx

 **snow white:** hang on i’m changing our names back

**_snow white changed prince charming’s name to ‘bby jusing.’_ **

**_snow white changed their name to ‘figaro magnifico.’_ **

**figaro magnifico:** there, that’s better

 **moomin’s wife:** nana what are your events

 **jamie:** 50m free and the relay  
**jamie:** oh wait you were actually gonna do it for me?? no it’s fine bro love you though

 **full sun:** how tf did you survive nine hours next to cheolsoo @markie without breathing through your nose literally the pool stinks of chlorine I can't deal with this idk how mina survives

 **figaro magnifico:** who's Mina

 **jamie:** his sister

 **full sun:** she does swim training like five times a week

 **stock market:** i kept my coffee under my nose for two hours and then i ordered like three bags of peanuts so that i would be distracted

 **moomin’s wife:** can’t fucking relate

 **stock market:** welp  
**stock market:** how do you not die when you go on planes like don’t they serve peanuts when you board

 **moomin’s wife:** i just don’t take them lmao

 **girls’ jenoration:** jaemin can’t relate with dem lactose intolerance

 **moomin’s wife:** when i was small it was worse and my grandma would have to call the plane company so they wouldn’t serve nuts to people in our section  
**moomin’s wife:** i always felt super bad about that

 **girls’ jenoration:** you would feel worse if you ate a peanut

 **moomin’s wife:** yeah  
**moomin’s wife:** you guys want to hear a funny story about how i found out i was allergic to peanuts 

 **full sun:** how can there be a funny story relating to this

 **moomin’s wife:** my cousin is really allergic to all nuts so i wanted to show off to him that i could eat them and he couldn’t  
**moomin’s wife:** bear in mind, i was like three at the time, but i just took a handful of peanuts and shoved them in my gob  
**moomin’s wife:** plot twist, my throat started closing up and i couldn’t breathe so my parents called the ambulance and i died for two minutes lmaooooo

 **full sun:** okay so i know that clowning ren is my main job, right  
**full sun:** BUT HOW ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT THIS I WOULD BE SO SAD IF YOU DIED

 **jamie:** HUANG RENJUN ARE YOU INSANE

 **moomin’s wife:** haha it’s all good now guys it was when i was three years old lmfaooo

 **jamie:** :(

 **bby jusing:** can i ask something?

 **full sun:** yee

 **bby jusing:**  how did your parents decide on mina like. how do my parents name my future sister. my dad's only had to ever name my brother and me, and my stepmum hasn't had to name a kid before so yeeee

 **moomin’s wife:** yeah you know just ignore the fact that i died for two minutes

 **jamie:** YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID IT WAS ALL GOOD NOW

 **full sun:**  my sister escaped my parents' wrath of bad names. think about it. why am i hyuck but also haechan, and why is my bro minhyuck but also ali???????  
**full sun:** answer: my parents don’t know how to name kids

 **figaro magnifico:** lmaooo

 **full sun:** jisung, if your parents want to give your new sibling an english name please consult someone that actually speaks english

 **bby jusing:** oh okay i’ll ask johnny-hyung

 **stock market:** ow

 **full sun:** make sure their name actually flows well because initially they were gonna name ali ‘donggu’

 **moomin’s wife:** YOU NEARLY NAMED YOUR BROTHER MUSHROOM?!

 **figaro magnifico:** HYUNG HOW DID WE GET TO THIS CONCLUSION

 **moomin’s wife:** DONGGU MEANS MUSHROOM IN KOREAN

 **figaro magnifico:** OMG IT DOES IN CHINESE TOO

 **moomin’s wife:** I KNOW THAT LELE IM CHINESE TOO

 **jamie:** i’m convinced this is a fever dream

 **girls’ jenoration:** i can’t even @hyuck

 **full sun:** that’s not the worst part  
**full sun:** they nearly made his english name richard

 **figaro magnifico:** wait so you’re telling me

 **moomin’s wife:** that your brother was nearly called

 **girls’ jenoration:** dick mushroom???

 **full sun:** yes. lowkey sounds like an std, but yes.

 **jamie:** dklsajfklajklsdfjkl

 **full sun:** oh and also make sure that a nickname is available for them.  
**full sun:** e.g. i’m hyuck, since my parents can’t call me ‘dong.’  
**full sun:** i think you can guess why we couldn’t go with that

 **bby jusing:** ew

 **full sun:** moving on my sister is minmin because she couldn’t be nana because i was friends with jaem before my sister was born

 **jamie:** OH NO I’M SO SORRY I STOLE YOUR SISTER’S NICKNAME

 **full sun:** it’s fine dw nana  
**full sun:** so we ended up with alistair for my brother and now he’s ali and now i have to make sure he doesn’t die whenever I'm babysitting him but um he's nearly two?? he can care for himself

 **stock market:** hon last time i checked ali was tiny you have to treat my future brother-in-law nicely

 **moomin’s wife:** y’ALL ARE SO LOVEY DOVEY FIRST IT WAS JISUNG THE OTHER DAY AND NOW MARK HYUNG 

 **stock market:** i’m calling harvey

 **moomin’s wife:** please no don’t give him the wrong idea 

 **stock market:** what, that you’re not the biggest romantic around? please. i see you with that black notebook ;)

 **moomin’s wife:** shh hyung

 **full sun:** my mom warned me ali was teething but he was last time and it wasn’t that bad so i didn’t take it that seriously but all he’s done since i held him was chew my shirt :/

 **jamie:** oh no :(  
**jamie:** has he grown at all?

 **full sun:** loads he’s massive, he’s got the same kind of tan that my dad and i have, and for some strange reason his hair is starting to become curly at the top  
**full sun:** he doesn’t stop running around

 **jamie:** huh, so kinda like me then

 **full sun:** btw i don’t think it’s a good idea for your back to hold him he’s so heavy even jeno found him hard to carry last time

 **jamie:** how big can a 19 month old be c’mon

 **girls’ jenoration:** MASSIVE you have no clue omg

 **full sun:** he’s so annoying can i sell him to any of you

 **bby jusing:** is this what i have to experience with a new sibling omg

 **full sun:** yee

 **bby jusing:** oh no  
**bby jusing:** i hate my life so very much

 **moomin’s wife:** it’s okay jisung  you do muay thai with lele it’s good practice when he screams about you being a bony bitch

 **figaro magnifico:** hey!

 **moomin’s wife:** it’s true, Peasant

 **figaro magnifico:** _shut up, Member Of The Bourgioise_

 **stock market:** *bourgeoise  
**stock market:** sorry that's all I could focus on

 **moomin’s wife:** get it right the first. time. bourgeoise. you illiterate lattice

 **figaro magnifico:** excuse me how can i be a regular arrangement of atoms if i ain’t regular  
**figaro magnifico:** not even my shit’s regular

 **moomin’s wife:** OH MY GOD I DIDN’T NEED TO KNOW THAT

 **girls’ jenoration:** i just threw up

 **jamie:** are atoms in a lattice in a straight line? because if they are then i can’t be a lattice if i ain’t straight. it’s called Gay Privilege honey get a set on amazon

 **full sun:** you can be graphite they’re arranged in a honeycomb shape

 **jamie:** aww,, so you think i’m sweet?

 **girls’ jenoration:** OMG UGH STOP FLIRTING WITH MY BOYFRIEND

 **full sun:** OML UGH I HAVE NO REAL FRIENDS IN THIS WORLD ANYWAY

 **stock market:** omg ugh will all of you do your future selves a favour and shUT UP

 **full sun:** BABE YOU BETRAYED ME TOO  
**full sun:** jisung this is your fault bub

 **bby jusing:** hey. not my problem i’m boner  
**bby jusing:** **bony fuck

 **figaro magnifico:** jisung is boner?

 

 **the babies (2)** \- 07:46

 **figaro magnifico:** i’M SO SORRY BUB IT JUST SLIPPED OUT

 **bby jusing:** it’s fine bro i’m fine with it i just don’t like frickle frackle.  
**bby jusing:** dick jokes though? part of a self care routine

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 07:47

 **bby jusing:** i apologize lele for being a bony bitch

 **figaro magnifico:** apology not accepted bitch **  
** **figaro magnifico:** IT FEELS LIKE A SPLINTER GOING THROUGH MY BODY EVERY TIME YOU KICKED ME

 **jamie:** HEY REMEMBER  
**jamie:** WE’RE NON-VIOLENT  
**jamie:** also stop calling each other bitches that’s my thing

 **figaro magnifico:** is this that alpaca program rubbing off on you

 **jamie:** world scholar’s cup? yeah

 **moomin’s wife:** please do it this season i don’t want to be a solo scholar this year

 **jamie:** copy that  
**jamie:** but why was jisung kicking lele i need answers hoes

 **moomin’s wife:** we were at muay thai yesterday which was fun

 **girls’ jenoration:** i was genuinely concerned like we don’t stan unhealthy relationships!!

 **full sun:** sometimes jeno and nana sound like each other when they text and idk if they’re amalgamating into one or whether they borrow each other’s phones to throw us off

 **moomin’s wife:** damn you’re using big words

 **full sun:** you’re starting to rub off on me

 **stock market:** jaemin has drilled the ‘alternate’ meaning of ‘rub off’ into my head it’s a little bit painful

 **bby jusing:** ew

 **full sun:** if you think that’s bad try having mark whisper said meaning of ‘rub off’ in your ear at three in the morning

 **jamie:** free asmr for hyuckie

 **full sun:** WHAT THE FRICK NA JAEMIN NO THAT ISN’T OKAY

 **girls’ jenoration:** jsmr has gone out of business welp

 **bby jusing:** bye y’alls I'm disappointed in nana

 **jamie:** jisung seems quieter today

 **stock market:** he's literally texted more than me

 **bby jusing:** preach it hyung

 **jamie:** no you don't understand none of you receive messages at three in the morning from this sweet and lovely fucking idiot going  
**jamie:** HYUNG HYUNG HYUNG I'M HUNGRY YO I WANT A BAGUETTE  
**jamie:** ONE. WORD. PER. MESSAGE. DUDE YOU WOULD BE BROKE IF THIS WAS PAID SMS.

 **bby jusing:** but it ain't yo

 **jamie:** AND ALSO. THERE AREN’T ANY SHOPS OPEN AT THREE IN THE MORNING OMG

 **stock market:** jaemin (16) // professional complainer  
**stock market:** also i’d like to remind you all that when nana was a tiny freshman he would whine all night long but he was so smol at the time so ofc i forgave him  
**stock market:** baby jeno was a complete squish, and renjun was so fluffy too

 **full sun:** what about me??

 **stock market:** like a baby pudu. in the sense that you looked kinda like a rat but oddly cute as well

 **full sun:** love you hyung

 **bby jusing:** hyung hyung hyung

 **jamie:** yeah what’s up jisung

 **girls’ jenoration:** the duality of this man. and yet i still love him

 **stock market:** jeno quoting his drarry fics, pt. 2

 **bby jusing:** hyunggg

 **full sun:** which one

 **bby jusing:** you know which one!

 **stock market:** no, there are six of us. 20 of us if you include the other hyungs too. be Specific boi

 **moomin’s wife:** Specific Evidence

 **figaro magnifico:** why do you keep saying that

 **girls’ jenoration:** because apparently it's an inside joke but we're not quite sure who it's with

 **full sun:** renjun and renjun

 **moomin’s wife:** Frick You

 **figaro magnifico:** frickle frackle freckle frockle fruckle

 **bby jusing:** honestly at this point there's only one of you whomst i’d call hyung all y'all acting like you're FIVE

 **figaro magnifico:** “whomst”

 **bby jusing:** hyunggg

 **jamie:** jisunggg

 **bby jusing:** check your dms

 **jamie:** okie

 

 **idiot and his non-kinky slave (2)** \- 07:51

 **jamie:** hi what's up sungie

 **bby jusing:** hyung I haven't talked about the whole ace thing right

 **jamie:** what ace thing

 **bby jusing:** okay here goes idk why i’m nervous since it’s literally the ultimate superior gay i’m talking to  
**bby jusing:** chenle and i did some talking and um  
**bby jusing:** i think i’m asexual?

 **jamie:** aww i’m proud of you bb that was so brave  
**jamie:** and yeah thanks for telling me  
**jamie:** I'm sorry for all the times i call you an idiot or pretend to hate you because I literally love you so much

 **bby jusing:** thanks my non-kinky-because-it’s-weird-for-jeno-hyung-and-for-lele-and-for-my-ace-ass slave

 **jamie:** can i ask you something?

 **bby jusing:** yeah

 **jamie:** are you okay lately? you've been kinda really quiet all week, more so than usual and idk if it’s because of the ace thing or?

**bby jusing:**

**jamie:** it's perfectly alright if you're not

 **bby jusing:** idk. i just  
**bby jusing:** ik the other kids don’t like me but i don’t even know why they don’t like me and i want them to like me but at the same time i don’t want to change me so that they like me

 **jamie:** wot ._.  
**jamie:** okay now that i’ve deciphered that bit all i can say is that we (superior gay) love the you right now and honestly?  
**jamie:** i don’t know if i’d like the jisung that acts like the other freshman kids. i like the you now. 

 **bby jusing:** thanks hyung 

 **jamie:** sorry that wasn’t very helpful was it

 **bby jusing:** nonono seriously it makes me feel idk  
**bby jusing:** like it’s okay to be, you know. me.  
**bby jusing:** also they think i’m a weirdo because of

 **jamie:** because of…?

 **bby jusing:** my hydroflask

 **jamie:** oh my fu-

 

 **superior gay (7)** \- 08:01

 **girls’ jenoration:** i hate my life rn lmao

 **full sun:** what’s up my dude

 **girls’ jenoration:** wHaT’s uP My DudE  
**girls’ jenoration:** you KNOW what’s up

 **full sun:** oh  
**full sun:** That

 **girls’ jenoration:** yes, That.  
**girls’ jenoration:** karma’s a bitch and it’s biting me in the ass

 **jamie:** sciatica is also a bitch and it’s biting me in the ass

 **girls’ jenoration:** poor bub

 **jamie:** i’ll live. you don’t need your legs to swim

 **moomin’s wife:** sdjfalkfjkljklsaf jaemin you should know that that made me burst out laughing  
**moomin’s wife:** aaaaaand now my history teacher thinks i’ve lost the plot i am Deceased

 **stock market:** nana do you not kick when you swim how have you not drowned

 **jamie:** i do kick!! but i use my arms more tbh  
**jamie:** anyway what’s up babe

 **girls’ jenoration:** right so new term, new us, right? so when we were deciding on who we would pick for leadership roles in our class, i decided to improve myself  
**girls’ jenoration:** you know, step up, make decisions and lead the class

 **stock market:** that’s really good! proud of you jen

 **full sun:** yeah but that’s until you find out he made the decision to make me sports captain and then led the rest of the class to vote me into position smh

 **girls’ jenoration:** anyway he was in charge of figuring out who’s doing what for swim gala so guess which bitch is doing five races later  
**girls’ jenoration:** um so yeah that’s how karma/hyuck bit me in the ass

 **figaro magnifico:** hyuckie hyung bit you in the ass??? scandalous 

 **jamie:**  

 **stock market:**  

 **full sun:** WHO’S THE CHEATERS NOW HUH I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE TELEPATHIC

 **figaro magnifico:**  i-

 **bby jusing:** dammit babe yet another happy family i’ve witnessed the downfall of

 **figaro magnifico:** sorry love

 **jamie:** wait

 **girls’ jenoration:** did y’all see that

 **moomin’s wife:** i’m back from the dead

 **full sun:** oh cool did you meet satan  
**full sun:** and also um??? chensung?????

 **moomin’s wife:** yeah he said he misses his child aka you

 **stock market:** lele,, sungie??? care to explain???????

 **bby jusing:** -sighs deeply like an old man staring off into the sunset, about to tell some family secret to the great grandchild-

 **full sun:** you’re the youngest out of all of us lksdfjalkfjas

 **bby jusing:** lele can i tell them

 **figaro magnifico:** we’ve basically exposed ourselves, just go ahead lmao 

 **bby jusing:**

**jamie:** jsjdjfhjdjfhd

 **stock**   **market:** where tf am i

 **jamie:** doing a mock exam, probably  
**jamie:** sorry jisung go on

 **bby jusing:** lele and i are dating  
**bby jusing:** oh, and i’m asexual  
**bby jusing:** anyway, i have to go swim now. byeee!!

\---

**_after jisung’s freestyle race_ **

**the babies (2)** \- 08:16

 **figaro magnifico:** omg you did so well just now sungie (and you looked really cute)

 **bby jusing:** hahaha thanks, i’ve been going to training lately

 **figaro magnifico:** i can tell  
**figaro magnifico:** anyway, you okay? like after telling the whole chat about  
**figaro magnifico:** being ace

 **bby jusing:**  

 **figaro magnifico:** hmm?

 **bby jusing:** yeah. it’s a relief

 **figaro magnifico:** better than last week yeah?

 **bby jusing:** tons. it’s like a weight’s been lifted off my shoulders  
**bby jusing:** thanks, lele

 **figaro magnifico:** np sungie, love you

 **bby jusing:** love you too

 **figaro magnifico:** i love it when you say the word “love”

 **bby jusing:** for real??

 **figaro magnifico:** yeah it just rolls off your tongue perfectly

 **bby jusing:** someone’s got a little crush, don't they, eggs?

 **figaro magnifico:** love how you’re trying to tease me but we’re boyfriends already so it doesn’t frickin work, salt

 **bby jusing:** hehe

 **figaro magnifico:** THAT WAS SO SO CUTE MY HEART EXPLODED  
**figaro magnifico:** um anyway  
**figaro magnifico:** you’re feeling better right?

 **bby jusing:** emotionally? i’m feeling much better than i have in the past two weeks 

 **figaro magnifico:** emotionally?? what about other stuff? physically, spiritually, economically, geographically???

 **bby jusing:** spiritually, uh, i’m okay i think?  
**bby jusing:** second, you know i’m broke, baby

 **figaro magnifico:** you sound like a sugar daddy but like. a shitty one. 

 **bby jusing:** lele i-  
**bby jusing:** okay. geographically, you should know; we’re in the same swimming pool complex 

 **figaro magnifico:** sungie answer the question. physically?

 **bby jusing:** well the pool water’s freezing  
**bby jusing:** i think i’ve caught a cold

 **figaro magnifico:** ooh wait so does that mean we can have pillow forts, soup, hot chocolate and me kissing your red nose, only to catch your cold?  
**figaro magnifico:** it’d be as if we’re in a really fluffy and sweet fanfic, amirite  
**figaro magnifico:** umm i mean, oh no bub, are you okay? do you want my hoodie?

 **bby jusing:** you’re so cheesy but i love it  
**bby jusing:** well, two can play at this game  
**bby jusing:** you know in those movies where like two characters kiss in the locker room

 **figaro magnifico:** kind of??

 **bby jusing:** i’m in the changing room right now. can you meet me here? hehehe

**_bby jusing went offline._ **

**figaro magnifico:** jsjdjfhjdjfhd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first things first creds to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-gVxdR9SsM for the 'did i just out myself' screencap (please let me know if i should change the pic!)
> 
> quite a long chapter today, think it's the longest one yet actually!
> 
> and as always it was a wonderful mess but i laughed a lot while writing it
> 
> so last time i updated i had a cold and i finally got over it a few days ago. until today like we had our swimming gala which was fun bc no school right? well i did my three events (50m free, fly and then the relay) and then i realized that i am Yet Again sick so that's fucking fun and it's also the inspo for this chapter
> 
> i have a test tomorrow which i've hardly studied oops
> 
> anyway i love you all! see you next chapter and omg can't believe we're on chapter 21 already
> 
>  
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/jaemhugs)


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